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n the immortal words of the mortal
Bruce Hornsby, "It's time for you to
find ajob.t
OK, Bruce never said that exactly. But
if he could see you and your sad, sorry
self sitting on that couch pouring your
glory years into a Sega Genesis machine,
he'd say it. He'd sing it, even. Playing
the piano, too, all slumped over because
he's tall.
Fortunately, you don't have to face the
work world alone. We at U. Magazine
are prepared to do whatever we can to
help you find a job, except give you one.
Here are answers to some of your tough-
est career questions:
How can I find a job within my field of study?
Broaden your definition of "field."
Toys R Us middle management may not
seem to jibe with your biology degree,
but open your mind. They sell micro-
scopes there and a doll that almost gives
birth. Besides, aren't you tired of dissect-
ing fetal pigs?
And you there, the French literature
major. You never really believed some-
one would pay you to do that, did you?
When should 1 start planning my jobsearch?
Seventh grade. Finding a job is tough.
You need a head start.
But if you wasted your adolescence on
hair spray and Wham! records, don't
despair. It's never too late to build
resume fodder. Start by joining some

clubs, organizations and
honorary societies,
preferably ones with fig-
urehead officers. We hear
the Burger King Kids'
Club needs a recording
secretary and a historian.
(Or purchase The Club at
any fine discount depart-
ment store.)
Are internships important?
Does the Pope wear a
funny hat?
In a word, yes. In more than a word,
internships allow you to test drive the
career of your choice. How else will you
discover you've spent the last three to 18
years preparing for a job you can't stand?
More than that, you'll learn to make
the finest pot of coffee this side of the
42nd parallel.
Do you have any interview tips?
Rule No. 1: Just be yourself. Unless, of
course, you're sloppy, lazy or otherwise
undesirable, in which case, be someone
else.
Be ready to humbly sell yourself, and if
someone asks about your weak points,
say, "Sometimes I just work too hard" or
"Occasionally I forget if Fillmore was
president before or after Garfield."
Don't mention your deadline problem or
admit to crying during AT&T commer-
cials.

An Interview Sremss Rehearsal

U. Job Stats
In afew months, amilli n new s aaker wil
be thrust into the job market. But coffee shop
brilliance and political whining don't feed the
dog or come with a carpeted office and a cool
swivel chair. Is the job pool as bleak as it
seems? Probably, but mull overthese anazing
facts anyway.
Number of bachelor's degrees awarded in
1990.91:1,094,538
Percentage of 1990 college graduatesawhofelt
the work they did in their jobs did not
require acollege degree: 40
Number of hours at Hamburger U. it takes to
become a McDonald's manager: 2,000
Percentage of college students who think col,
legs is adequately preparing them to sue-
coed In the workplace: 26.3
How much Microsoft founder Bill Gates made
after dropping out of Harvard U.:$6.3 bil-
lion
Number of the following who have college
degrees: Jann Wenner, Ted Turner, David
Geffen, Larry King and Donna Karan:0
Average U.S. citizen's per capita income in
1992: $19,841
What a "vow of poverty" means for a Roman
Catholic priest: $9,000 a year
What a Rabbi earns in a year: $38,000-
$90,000
Percentage of job openings that are never
advertised: 75
Percentage of full-time faculty who say most
of their students are "very bright": 8.9
Percentage of musicians who can look for-
ward to working for religious organiza-
tions: 60
Percentage of students who have considered
going to graduate school just to postpone
thejob hunt:21.8
Number of college graduates who applied to
work in the Peace Corps In the 1993 fiscal
year: 9,948
Percentage of students who think a "great
salary" is the most important thing In a
firstjob:.8
Percentage of 1993 students who think they
have a 100 percent chance of being
employed when they graduate: 24.4
Number of resumes Sears, Roebuck & Co.
received in 1995 for 95 executive training
program positions: 20,000
Highest education attained by Peter Jennings:
ninth grade " Sally Kuzemchak, The
Daily Collegian, Pennsylvania State U.
Sources: The Chronicle of Higher Education,
Occupational Outlook Handbook, Digest of
Education Statistics, Seattle Times, Mastering
(& succeeding with) The Job Hunt, Bureau of
Labor Statistics.

I graduate this semester, but I'm not ready for
the real world. What should I do?
Don't worry. Those MTV people
can't make you do anything without a
signature. If you can't get out of it, grin,
bear it and refuse to do anyone else's
dishes. It only lasts one season, and who
knows? Maybe someday you'll host The
Grind.
I graduated last year and haven't found a job
yet. How can I convince my parents 1°m not a
slacker?
You probably are a slacker.
But if you're not ready to come out of
the closet yet, convince your parents that
you're staying home to spend more time
with them. Say you feel the family's been
drifting apart as of late. Say you realize
their time on this earth is wasting away,
and you want to be able to tell your chil-
dren about their grandparents.
If they don't buy it, come clean. Tell
them you want to watch more cable TV. U

f you're not a senior, you're
probably not worried about
boning the old interview skills
just yet, right? Well, what about
landing that summer job or
internship? The odds are you're
going to be interviewed before
you graduate. And in this nasty
job market, a little rehearsal
couldn't hurt. Here are some
questions you might want to prac-
tice in front of the bathroom mirror:

* How would a close friend describe you?
" What do you consider to be your major weakness?
" What personal accomplishments are you most proud of?
" Describe your most rewarding college experience.
" Why should I hire you?
" What do you know about our company?
" If you were doing the hiring for this position, what quali-
ties would you look for?
" What qualities do you prefer in a boss?
" What kinds of rewards are most satisfying to you?
Also, your interviewer will expect you to ask some ques-
tions of your own. A dumb question might make you look

bad, but not asking anything at all will make you look
worse. Here are some questions that are pretty safe:
" What areas in the company most need improvement?
" What is the greatest challenge your organization faces
during the next year?
" Do you consider me a qualified candidate for this job?
Most importantly, stay calm. Polish up your best dress
shoes and forget that this job might mean the difference
between a six-figure future and moving home with the
folks. Buck up, little camper, there are jobs out there and
you will find one.
Source: Mastering (& succeeding with) The Job Hunt

U. Magazine " 15