6 - The Michigan Daily - Weekend etc. - Thursday, Febuary 3, 1994 'Mediterraneo' takes you to sunny Greece for simplistic drama Making a run for the border. Windsor that is. Road trippin' from Detroit: "South of the Border" means Canada By SARAH STEWART Here's an idea for a daydream: You're stranded indefinitely on a Greek island where beauty is the main resource. It never rains, the locals are extremely hospitable and the only form of exertion you can manage to find is a game of soccer on the beach. Your mind has found its way into "Mediterraneo," and when it's over, you'll hate to leave. Winner of the 1991 Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, "Mediterraneo," directed by Italian Gabriele Salvatores, creates a para- dise that will delight anyone who's dreamt of the good life. And as simple as it may seem, this is the crux of the film. As far as plot goes, a motley Ital- ian army unit is sent to a Greek island during World War II just in case the British show up to fight. Their boat and radio are destroyed, but that is where the similarities to "Gilligan's Island" end. They quickly learn that the women, children and elderly are the only current inhabitants, that the British have no plans to join them and that they're stuck in paradise until they're rescued. The brilliance of "Mediterraneo" is that it achieves its descriptive at- mosphere with a minimal basis of conflict. There's no protagonist and no higher ideal being fought for here, and maybe there's not even a plot in the traditional sense. Instead, a senes of humorous incidents, usually ex- posing the characters' quirks, pro- vide the easy flow of the film. For example, Corrado's (Claudio Bisio) repeated attempts to escape and re- turn home to his wife are touching demonstrations of love, but are more likely to elicit laughter than tears, while Eliseo (Gigio Alberti) is de- fined by the donkey who seems to have taken a page from "Mary Had a Little Lamb." Admittedly, "Mediterraneo" is not a masterpiece of character develop- ment, but this says nothing against the film. The Italian "soldiers" have the charm of curious children, each ex- emplifying a unique aspect of naivet6, and even the Sergeant's (Diego Abatantuono) dreamy philosophizing is nothing more than ironic humor. By offering such succinct character- izations, Salvatores has the luxury of a big cast and avoids the risk of creat- ing a cheap, unsatisfying melodrama. Nonetheless, the character of the Sergeant is a standout. He seems to undergo the most changes throughout the film and is naturally the most dynamic character, but Abatantuono's acting creates a spark of its own. After initial skepticism, the Sergeant ultimately accepts island life with Winner of the 1991 Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, "Mediterraneo," directed by Italian Gabriele Salvatores, creates a paradise that will delight anyone who's dreamt of the good life. vigor, as Abatantuono convincingly evolves into the jolly, dancing man his big belly would suggest. The best part of "Mediterraneo" is location, location, location. After all, what would it have to offer if the Italians were stuck in, well, let's say Michigan in winter? But not to fear, with a background of unbelievably blue water and skies, the otherwise average looking soldiers are made to glow amidst the inescapable vibrancy of their surroundings. And similarly, the island women possess an exotic sensuality that would convince even the staunchest feminist that there's nothing offensive about two brothers stroking one's woman's breast at the same time. "Mediterraneo" seems to say that when beauty and harmony reign, a certain purity prevails. Or to put it more bluntly, escape this Godforsaken cold and seek sanity through warmth. By ANDY PORTNOY It's that time of the year again. Friday around and it seems like everyone you knowf Ann Arbor for some sultry, warm, exotic para For those out there not fortunate enough to bei neying to some southern locale, I offer you a ne and highly underrated Spring Break destinatic has been described as the "Jewel of the Norti captures the excitement, intrigue and wonderoi tropical paradise while offering convenience price in exchange for warmth. I'm referring to Northern palatial treasure where anything goes- you're 19 or over - Windsor, Canada. A trip to Windsor offers Ann Arborites theirc opportunity to drive 45 minutes and arrive in ano country. It's actually very easy to find. Just hol 94 East to the Lodge Freeway South. Once on freeway for a few minutes you'll see signs for the bridge and tunnel to Windsor. Either route lead you to your destination. But beware. Be entering Canada, you will be met at a toll by Canadian Border Patrol - a virtual cross bets the KGB and Inspector Gadget. These guards ten be suspicious for apparently no reason at all. A, Cooper, an LSA sophomore who visits Win( about 15 times a year, advises travelers to "keept mouths shut. Tell them quickly and calmly3 country of origin and reasons forcoming to Wind Deny; deny even if you have nothing to deny.' most people a strip search is one experience they live without. Assuming you make it past the border guards, you'll want to search for Ouillette Street. This strip, over- loaded with bars, clubs and restau- rants is Windsor's answer to Sunset Boulevard. Once you've parked, . you'll find a variety of activities wait- ing to fulfill all your desires. Arrive early enough and sample " some of the fine dining Windsor has to offer. As in any city, you can find almost any type of cuisine. But ethnic food tops their list: Windsor has a reputation for having the best Chinese restaurants in North America. And if you value atmosphere as much as food quality, dining havens on the Canadian side of the Detroit River offer fantastic views, especially when it's dark out._ Gambling also attracts travelers to Windsor. Casinos sit along the river in converted restaurants and the base- } ment of some hotels. Until Bally's finishes building and opening up a new casino at the end of this year, however, both dedicated and casual gamblers will have to survive playing blackjack only. Nevertheless, with most of the casinos staying open from four in the afternoon until four in the morning, many may find it unnecessary to leave the smoky, crowded confines of Windsor's casinos. One caveat: All house winnings go to charity. Which one, you ask? Well, when asked recently, the dealers had no idea exactly what charity the money benefited. One dealer remarked, "I have no idea but it's some- thing good." Something good - money losers, feel noble. Moving steadily along Windsor's sin list: the strip club. While many love to admit that they are regular customers at these "liberal" dance revues, just as many remain tight-lipped about their atten- dance. Nevertheless it is a prominent feature that should not be overlooked (and I mean that both literally and figuratively). The Canadian strip club suits both the successful power broker and those who lack money and formal attire. Windsor disappoints no one. There are plenty of alternative, affordable clubs. Aside from gambling and watching naked people dance, the two most popular activities in Windsor are dancing and drinking. And visitors will be hard pressed to run out of places to do both. From the small, quiet atmosphere of Casino City to the wild, raunchy, crowded environment of a Bentley's, pa- trons arrive and check their inhibitions at the door. "Clubs in Windsor are basically people having a good time and getting to know each other, if you get what I mean," comments Cooper. The Windsor club scene, perhaps because it lies in such close proximity to the U.S., is highly S Americanized. Most clubs blast Salt-N-Pepa, Snoop Doggy Dog and other popular House music. The crowds, an eclectic group in regard to age and marital status, respond favorably to American homegrown music. No matter what draws you to clubs in general, the opportunity to dance, drink and hang out will please even the most mild mannered partier. The truly unique feature of Windsor, though, is its liberal drinking laws. If you're over 19 and.can afford it, the liquor is yours. But for the die-hard drinker out there who just can't seem to get into the bars at the University with their expired license, I offer a word of caution. Expect to pay much more for a drink in Windsor than you ever would in Detroit or Atlanta or even New York. Bars and clubs price their bottled beers from $5 upward. Mixed drinks usually start around $7.50. And as if that's not outrageous enough, the exchange rate for United States Currency in Canada is currently 26%. That means that every $100 American currency exchanges into about $125 Ca- 0 nadian currency. Maybe that sounds great at first but the exchange goes both ways. Between the prices and the exchange you will inevitably get screwed in some way. Ii Vi4 coe to] i - - - - - - - - - - .Y a L, r>' .:L "y ," { . }. 4". -XI ............ ::": :: ":::: ":: :"::::::::: i:: i::ti i::i v:: i: i:v ?}:G: is :;"::"}: }:C":":{-}: i:"%i:" !" "L a . "r ? .:"):5-.:" : .i: ?: i: $ii3::ii::is :"::y::y ::::ti:: : ::i:-:C? ::::?::: :j :}::: s i"'.?:;:: ;"'.:: : i: : : i::j:::: 4 k q jIv1.... .... :Iih : 'ra;'"I:::' }%f: v a} ^ LS... l L.ULv LL d . L as L Y k r ยข V': jxY" }" {.. } \ i Tr a ":L1v. .. i:Li:":''r''"1L1 }:NLr" 1 .. ................................................................................................................................................................. For some ludicrous Canadian rea- son, once the clock strikes one in the morning, the bars and clubs close up leaving all their patrons alone in Canada (sounds like your worst night- mare). Alas, Windsor offers an assort- ment of cheap hotels right along the strip. If you enjoy waking up in a foreign country with six hung over guys slumped across a single bed, this is something you won't want to miss. So the next logical question: why is Windsor so popular if it's so damn expensive? It's a Disneyland of sorts and satisfies most of our collegiate desires. LSA Sophomore Stefan Teodosic, who visits Windsor about 10 times a year, sums it up by saying, "Windsor really does the trick. It's close and it has it all. Dinner, dancing, fun. It's just a great place. Just make sure to leave two dollars for the toll going home. I always forget that." Spring Break in Ann Arbor and the living's easy." SPRING BREAK PANAMA CITY BEACII, FLORIDA By KEN SUGIURA If you want to know where I'm coming from when it comes to Spring Break, let me just describe to you the sum total of my vacations while at Michigan. It came last February, when I went to visit my sister, who then was going to school at Brown in Providence, Rhode Island. For those of you who have not had the privilege of visiting Providence, let me just tell you that Brown is a very fitting name for the educational centerpiece of this dis- mal town. Providence, by the way, is the capital of a state that will undoubt- edly be the charter member of the Dismal State Hall of Fame (opening soon in downtown Providence). Don't get me wrong. My sister is, a fine person with only a small crimi- eShell Island Party CruiseO 650' Gulf Beach Frontage 2 Outdoor Swimming Pools 1 Indoor Heated Pool Restaurant, 2 & 3 Room Suites SANDPIPER-BEACON RESERVATIONS 17403 Front Beach Road 1 .800.488-8828 Panama City Beach, FL 32413 1804882 *Beach Bonfire Parties Tiki Beach BarNolleyball Sailboats, Jetskis & Parasails Karaoke Beach Party Area Discount Coupons FROM $104 PER WEEK PER PERSON 4 PERSON OCCUPANCY nal record, and we had about as good a time as can be had in Providence (we saw Brown's inept basketball team lose and we also watched "The Crying Game," the quintessential Spring Break flick). It's just that the grand sum of my three college Spring Breaks is a couple of days in Rhode Island, a place whose state animal, if I am not mistaken, is roadkil 1. So hopefully you see where I'm coming from. If there is a Cond6 Nast poster child, I am he. This vacationing ineptitude has given rise to what I call my Spring Break tradition. Usually, it begins a week or two before break begins. I ask people where they're going, they tell me Bermuda or Florida or wher- ever, and then they ask me the same. At this point, I give them my non- chalant "Oh, nothing big. I think I might stick around here for awhile." Usually, this response elicits some sympathy, but other times my friends try to feign respect for my itinerary that boasts destinations like "Laun- dry " and "Shower" and "Gas Sta- tion." "Oh, that's cool," they respond smugly, their respect for me sagging. like the diaper of an incontinent child. "I wish I were doing that. I have sooooo much work to do." Meanwhile, of course, they are thinking, "Geez, what a loser. He's (Staying in Ann Arbor for break) is a sad plight, but amazingly, it does have an advantage or two. trying to be all nonchalant about hav- ing an itinerary that boasts destina- tions like 'Laundry' and 'Shower' and 'Gas Station.' This kid needs a life." Actually, this is how my friends think of me most of the year, except for the middle sentence part. But the point is, every time the last week of February rolls around, my friends go traipsing off to someplace warm and I don't. It is a sad plight, but amazingly, it does have an advantage or two. For instance, when you walk around cam- pus during Spring Break bemoaning the fact that you are a big loser, you know that everyone else you see is as big a loser as you are. Believe me, there is a certain es- prit de corps there that is unmistak- able in its depth. Furthermore, there are no lines for anything, but then again, everything Health Issues and Answers These questions were taken from the Computer Health Information Program on MTS. UM-CHIP is an anonymous server available from UMnet. At the "Which Host prompt, type: UM-CHIP. (Q.) What eye care services are available for students on campus? (A.) UHS offers both an Eye Care Clinic and an Optical Shop. Both services are on the second floor of UHS. To set up an appointment for an eye exam or to be seen by an optometrist at the Eye Care Clinic, call 764-8325. The Optical Shop offers a variety of frames or lenses for general purpose as well as for sports and recreational use. There are fees for these services, but they are comparable to (and in many cases, lower than) the fees charged by community eye care providers. (Q.) How can I relieve stress that is related to academics? (A.) There are many different techniques you can employ to reduce stress in your life. Some of them are broad actions or ways of thinking; others are more tailored to academic stress. Some suggestions for stress management are as follows: Establish realistic goals. Set priorities and plan tasks. Take on these tasks one at a time (anything more than this can be overwhelming). Make sure that you manage your time so that you can control the pace of your efforts. Don't forget to schedule time for fun. Play is essential to your well being. Reach out to others and share your stress when you need to. Use campus resources ifyou feel you do not wish to discuss your stress with your friends or family. Take care ofyour body; exercise, sleep, eat good food. Cry if you need to. Practice relaxation exercises and try to keep a positive outlook on life. Remember that there are limits to what you can do. Recognize these limits and plan accordingly. For more information about stress management, call UHS (Health Promotion and Community Relations Department), 763-1320 or Counseling Services, m sa Hea Isues & Answers 764-8312. is jointly produced by MSA and UHS. is open from about noon to 12:30, which kind of explains why there are no lines. You have a chance to catch up in schoolwork or even get ahead. You also have the chance to feel sorry for yourself for not going anywhere and reward yourself by not studying. I@ usually take the second option. Then of course, there is the great bonus of not having to worry about acclimatizing yourself to Ann Arbor weather when you come back from I the Florida Keys. Take it from some- one who knows. When some return- ing vacationer remarks how difficult it was to come back to the cold weather, I just thank my lucky stare that I was able to remain in frigid Ann Arbor and not have to live through that torturous transition. In the space of one article, I cannot do justice to the liberating feeling that I experience when I realize, year after year, that I do not have to fret over trying to hide unsightly tan lines. Oh, the bliss. While these factors are certainly persuasive, and may even keep a fe students pondering a trip to Florida in Ann Arbor over break, I can tell you, that staying on campus is not all that it is made out to be. It can be a very dangerous psychological journey, this week of nothingness. The week provides the same unfulfilling, hollow "Is this all there is?" feeling that I am sure salmon experience when they swim upstrean. to spawn, in particular those salmon who get devoured by those bears you always see on the Discovery Channel who romp around in streams eating fish. I believe Jean-Paul Sartre was one of the first to give this feeling a name. "Existentialism" is what he called it. Somehow, I am sure Sartre never made it down to the French Rivierb when he was in college. il C TISSOT Swiss Quality Time \)~ ~2 f ow ."_.