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November 19, 1993 - Image 4

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Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1993-11-19

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4 - The Michigan Daily - Friday, November 19, 1993

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420 Maynard
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
Edited and managed
by students at the
University of Michigan

JOSHDUBOW
Editor in Chief
ANDRuw LEVY
Editorial Page Editor

Unless otherwise noted, unsigned editorials reflect the majority opinion of the Daily editorial board.
All other cartoons, articles and letters do'not necessarily represent the opinion of the Daily.

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MICHIGAN VS. OHIO STATE
i THE WAR OF WORDS I

FROM THE DAILY STAFF
Nice going, pinheads.
Earlier this fall, when we
graciously decided to give someone
else a chance to win the Big Ten, we
figured you'd have as good a chance
as anyone, even though the last time
you won it was sometime around the
Paleolithic Age.
We were figuring we'd let you
win the rest of your games and then
send you off to Pasadena with a loss,
just to remind who the real Big Ten
king is.
And while you'll finish ahead of
us in the Big Ten and must be
flushed with pride (that means "very
proud") at the thought of a second
consecutive Citrus Bowl berth, we
are a little disappointed.
We thought last year we had the
market cornered on ties, but
apparently that isn't the case. Maybe
your president's reaction to last
year's game, when we played
woefully enough to let you manage
to tie, should have given us a hint.
If you don't remember, Dr. E.
Gordon Gee, in all his bow-tied
splendor, described it as "one of the
biggest wins in school history." In
case you were wondering, we
weren't quite as exuberant over our
inability to blow out your sad-sack
team.
Apparently, so taken with tie-
mania, you played for one in
Madison, apparently forgetting that
your loss tomorrow combined with
Wisconsin's 6-1-1 Big Ten record

This is an example of what Michigan p
(don't worry; they'll make it) would
send them to the Rose Bowl. Or
maybe your five-watt intelligence
does not allow you to figure out that
sort of tricky logic.
I think you can guess the reason
we find correct. Just to make sure,
though, we've made up a short quiz
for you, similar to the tests you take
down in Columbus. No, not the
maze; the other kind. Here it is:
1) Even though a loss to
Michigan and a 6-1-1 Big Ten record
by Wisconsin would cost them the
Big Ten title, Coach Cooper and his
moronic staff elected to go for a tie
against the Badgers because:
a) they, like the students they

FILE PHOTO'
put on the field in last year's OSU game.
represent, are mindless dolts.
Time's up.
Not enough time? OK, one more
chance. This time, pace yourself and
don't tense up.
Fine, if you insist, one hint: The
correct answer is 'A.'
Did you guess 'A'? Way to go,,
we knew you could do it, or at least
we thought you had a decent chance.
OK, you've passed the test. You
have displayed trace levels of mental
awareness. Your diplomas are on
their way. Your parents will be
proud, almost as proud as they would
be of a victory over Michigan. But
you'll never know anything about
that, will you?

FROM THE OSU LANTERN
STAFF
In recent editorials, the Daily has
suggested that U-M students send a
message to the Michigan Student
Assembly which, from what we can
tell, doesn't seem to have a purpose,
exactly. On Monday, the Daily
suggested students write in "Kill
MSA" on their ballots, effectively
letting the stuffed shirts know how
the students feel about their so-called
leadership.
Here at Ohio State, we think this
is a fine educational exercise. In fact,
we wish we had thought of it last
April, when OSU students turned out
in drips to vote for Undergraduate
Student Government, the MSA
counterpart at Ohio State. Those
wacky folks at the Daily deserve
credit for going to press with such a
snazzy concept before we could steal
it.
Truth be told, we like this idea so
much that we've decided to
participate. We can't, of course, take
part in the MSA elections -
although we doubt anyone would
notice. Instead, we've decided to
follow the spirit of the concept,
participating in a way the Daily
surely can appreciate.
We've decided to Kill the
Michigan Weenies ... er,
Wolverines.
Given what we've seen on the
field this season, it shouldn't be too
difficult. The Weenies, er,
Wolverines have been about as dull
as day-old doughnuts. After all,
they've rolled to impressive defeats
at the hands of Illinois, Michigan
State and Wisconsin, in addition to

--1

Cloud comes down to earth
I \. / I '

FIL EPHOTO
This. a naked Buckeve fan who decided to streak across the field in the

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