The Michigan Daily - Weekend etc. - Thursday, October 21, 1993 - 5 U VIT DSTATES Remember,.ning Sim J __ POSTASE D N * S _Zl RW CE This is the old U.S. Postal Service logo. Look for the new and improved version, coming to a post office near you. A sexy-%f"* new style fr the post ofie Entangled in the slew of miscon- tion that continues to consume erica, the United States Postal Service earlier this month announced its plan tobe thenextcombatantin the post-modernist image war. Sure that bad image, and not laggard service, sits at the root of its ever-increasing I will always remember that day. The whole house seemed like one raw nerve, exposed and painful to the touch. It was as if something somber and morose had snaked and entrenched itself into their voices, their atti- tudes and their demeanors. Strange, twisted, even horrorstricken expressions blanketed their faces. Grisly masks to what- ever tragic emo- tions they were feeling. What had transpired to bring such an ef- fect? Itprovedtobe abitdisorienting, disconcerting and confusing. The adults did nothing to satisfy my curiosity. They merely baited the little curiosity bug that buzzed just behind my ear by, carefully and swiftly, deflecting my questions. I guess I was figuratively and literally talking to a bunch of knee- caps. Their voices pointed upstairs. And getting to the center of all this commotion would shed some light on the situation. So I found myself climbing the stairs in pursuit of the answers they could not or would not give me. En route to my destination I encountered people who gave me the usual warning speeches. Mere distractions and temporary barricades. I was undaunted by statements like "you shouldn't go up there", "you're too young to see this" and"... can't believe Simon did this to himself." My need to know was just too overwhelming and powerful. I eventually made my way upstairs, weaving through my taller adversaries, into what was my Nana's kitchen. No one here. Not letting this opportunity pass me by I took a looksie around. Nothing of interest. Just the same ol' cupboards, countertops, pots, pans and even that "god- awful" tablecloth that I hated. Same with the rest of the house; nothing out of place. So with a shrug of my shoulders I made my way to the bathroom. It was then that I knew. It was then that I knew what everyone was being so secretive about. It was unthink- able. It was unbelievable. My cousin Simon had taken his life in the night. His death-knell was a loud blast that sent parts of him hurtling toward the four walls. That simple. In the heat of the aftermath no one had gotten to the flecks of blood, brain tissue and bone that stood stark against the white walls and porcelain pieces. Swollen with grief and sorrow no one had cleaned the bathroom. I was staring at his shrine. I stood there, 10-years-old, amazed and horrified at the power and the decadence that swam in front of me. Yet to this day, it is not what I witnessed in that bathroom that sharpens the taste of this memory. Nor was it his death. Not to sound cold but we weren't that close. It is what I have figured out about my cousin, his relationship with his mother and why he killed himself that is truly frightening. Let me explain. He was bent upon pleasing his mother. He fell glar- ingly short of her standards. Try as she might she never forgot to remind him of that. In their arguments about his "worth" she remained incessantly and relentlessly hateful, even venomous. He buckled under that pressure. Try dealing with this all of your life. Maybe it feels like a permanent boot ground into your back? Or rather a very deadly pump? As I said before there was something about this whole scenario that bothered me. It's a statement about humanity ... or lack thereof. You might think I'm referring back to my aunt, but I'm not. I'm referring to Simon and why I believe he killed himself. You see, like I said before he'd do anything to please her. Sometimes just getting her attention was what he wanted. But in this case he was going for the exact opposite effect. I think he wanted to hurt her, to lash out at her. He wanted to show her his pain. He wanted her to feel his pain. I can picture him him sitting there, his mind wheeling from the daggers of pain, anger and hate. Plotting, dream- ing of some sweet revenge in a tiny, far away part of himself. Don't think about where he got the shotgun, just the fact that he got it. I picture him fingering the shells nervously from index finger to thumb, thumb to index finger and index finger to thumb and so on. He's sweating, jittery, nervous. Every right to be, since this is final. Do it and do it right or you'll wind up a vegetable ... and you'll have failed again. Lock and load. He's putting the barrel up to his head. Fingering the trigger. I half expect him to say "See what you made me do mommy, see what you made me do. Now you'll be sorry." Click. I forget who said "from the depths of hell I stab at thee," but it fits. It's a shame that someone has to devote the last breath of his life to revenge especially upon his mother. No serene thoughts, just hatred. I've come to expect the worst when dealing with others and I've grown accustomed to the smallness of our humanity. Sometimes I think about what he was dealing with. I wonder if she thinks about it too. loss of business, the postal service is giving itself a face lift. A seven-million-dollar face lift. In a letter to 680,000 career postal ployees, Postmaster General arvin Runyon unveiled what will soon be the official postal service logo. Beak leaning into the wind, it is a sexier version of the present day eagle emblem. Ooh, la, la. And it's costing seven million bucks. The seven mill will cover the cost of painting new logos on every postal vehicle, mailbox and post office in ,e nation, as well as phasing in new uniforms, stationary, etc. With a former projected deficit of $2.2 billion for fiscal year 1993, the men and woman of the mail have every reason to take action. And some of the actions they took were produc- tive, cutting overhead positions (25,000 and, according to postal ser- vice press release, no lay offs) and Wficer level jobs as well. But now they've decided to do some redecorating, sure that the money spent to do so will pay for itself, and then some. "In everything we do and in every image we project, it is important that we show our customers that we have changed - that we have improved and that we are committed to improv- g even more. We need to send a ear signal that we are dedicated to a new level of quality, customer focus and competitiveness. So one of the things we are doing is changing our corporate identity," wrote Runyon in a letter to his employees. Still, many postal employees do not yet know of the change (at least the first four I spoke with at the Royal Oak branch ofthe United States Postal Service). Maybe they just weren't paying attention. Maybe their letters got lost in the mail. Certainly a switch in advertising campaign is no oddity for a business (and the post office, having been made an independent establishment of the executive branch on August 12,1970, is indeed a business). No one well- versed in advertising - and that is just about everyone who owns a tele- vision -would argue the point that a good ad campaign can rocket an un- known product to the top. Just do it. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Melts in your mouth, not in your hands. Nike, Pantene and M&Ms have Postmaster General Marvin Runyon unveiled what will soon be the official postal service logo. Beak leaning into the wind, it is a sexier version of the present day eagle emblem. Ooh, la, la. all been well served by their unforget- table sales pitches. Perhaps without the "You deserve abreak today"song, no one would ever have heard of the Golden Arches. McDonald's and the other aforementioned companies spent their money wisely. They got recognition. They edged their way into households and became Words. So if the purpose underlying logos and ad campaigns is to get aproduct's name heard, why does the post office need them? Is there a letter writing person in the U.S. of A. that knows not of the postal service? Ofcourse, the other reason behind seven million dollar advertising cam- paigns is to beat out the competition. "Coke is it" stood up well against "The taste of a new generation." "Keeps going and going and going" paves its path in annoyance to head off "the copper top battery" with ev- ery passing day. If the U.S. mail is trying to stir up trouble by creating their own cola wars (you would think theirbattles with their own disgruntled workers would fulfill their need for the fight), someone needs to inform them that there ain't no Coke to go head to head with their Pepsi. Against what does the postal ser- vice think it's competing? United Parcel Service? Domino's Pizza? Alas, the post office's one true opponent, technology, will never be conquered with even the most bril- liant of advertising plans. No matter the logo on the mail truck, it will never beat the two-minute delivery of a fax machine. Regardless, the post office's main objective with their new and im- proved, facing-into-the-wind eagle is mainly to ameliorate their image. A noble attempt, but one must wonder why they are bothering. If Jane in Michigan wants to spend 29 cents to mail a letter to her grandmother in Florida and her image of the postal service is that they are terrible, she will still use that very postal service to get that letter to Grandma. Once again it comes down to competition. There is none, making the public's"image" of the post office irrelevant, if not downright non-existent (how often does the average mailbox dropper sit down and think about the post of- fice?). But it is neither the postal service's waste of money nor its overblown concern about its image that speaks the most alarmingly of the society in which it has come of age. Rather, the United States Postal Service's attempt to solve a problem with a non-solu- tion reflects the most on America. And that is what makes the new eagle so menacing. 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