Page 10-The Michigan Daily-Monday, April 12,1993 Ugly Kid Joe laughs their way to the bank Bake That Mud(Honey) Cake Down Back in the carefree days of youth, the more culinary-minded of us concocted glorious triple-layer cakes made of only the finest ingredients: sticks, leaves, grass, and most importantly, mud. Tuesday, we get to revisit those long-gone days of creating crazed confectionery delights, when SchoolKids' Records hosts the first ever "Bake A Cake For Mudhoney" contest Roll up your sleeves and get with that stove, because whoever can concoct the wildest, kookiest, tastiest, most out of this world cake for the Mud Hens wins a veritable cavalcade of faboo prizes! "What prizes?," you ask? Not only will the winner receive a portable CD player, a bona fide Betty Crocker cookbook, AND backstage passes to Mudhoney's show at the Michigan Theater, that talented pastry whiz also walks with FRONT ROW tickets to the gig. Celebrity judges include DJ's Christina, Kelly Brown, and Greg Gynp(per) from radio station 89X . Also keep your eyes open for the Honey's themselves, who might stop by to catch a sugar buzz. Rumor has it the losing cakes might become part of a post-contest food fight, so be prepared. The festivities kick off at 3:30 (by which time all cakes must be registered). by Kristen Knudsen My original plan was to interview Ugly Kid Joe back in October, however I was told at that time that they didn't even "have time to breathe." You gotta love those kooky publicity reps. I guessed it made sense, though; the band was on the road in supportof their new album, "America's Least Wanted," which was sure to make or break the one-hit-wonders responsible for the popular, sarcastic novelty song "Everything About You." So, being the mellow and laid-back kinda girl I am (those who know me, shut up) I saidhey, noproblem. Just laughed itoff. So then I hear that Ugly Kid Joe is coming back to Michigan in April and this time, Iam granted an interview. But then the show is cancelled. Something tells me this isn't working out. But, hey, I can laugh about it. Ha, ha. The interview is already set up with singer Whitfield Crane and all my questions are ready. We'll do it anyway. The appointed day rolls around and Iam excited to hear from Whithimself if he and Karen "Duff' Duffy are still an item (just curious, OK?) and his take on Ann Arbor's coffee shops (he's been known to expound upon the general subject). Phone rings. Guitarist Dave Fortman is "dying" to talk to me. Although by this time he's been in the band longer than the original guitarist, he did not take part in the recording of their smash EP "As Ugly As They Wanna Be," so automatically all compari- son questions are out the window. Ditto for all those specifically directed toward the hyperactive singer. (Who can be heard, by the way, yelling in the background- so close and yet so far...). Think fast, improvise. Ha, ha, ha. Fortman explained that Ugly Kid Joe decided to take a break from the road until their tour with Def Leppard this summer. This choice was at least in part provoked by flying beer bottles at one of their recent shows. Apparently, three bottles were thrown on stage, hitting Whit on the hand and guitarist Klaus Eichstadt on the top of the head. No serious injuries were sustained as UKJ was officially welcomed to the trials and tribulations of a heavy metal band (or, in this case, "medium alloy metal" as they often call themselves). In the meantime, they made a video for "Busy Bee," anew song which unintentionally marks a more serious direction for the band. "I wrote it, it's just me stoned at the piano two years ago," Fortman said. "I didn't really write it aboutanything ... Thebasicmeaning thatcameoutof it I guess in the end, that I didn't even know existed, thateveryone else tells me what they think about it- it's about people too caught up in their own lives to see the world and see the beauty of what's going on in life." This follows theirrecentremakeof Harry Chapin's folk rock classic "Cats in the Cradle," a childhood favorite of Whit's (and everyone else). The usually tongue-in-cheekjokesters were careful to handle this song with seriousness and respect. "When I joined the band, we went in the studio to record it so I went and I played all the 12-string parts. I learned it just like the album and stuff so it would sound a little more towards the original track,"Fortman described. "I guess we were kind of blessed by doing that. We kept to the original format, and then Bam! It turned out to be a huge hit (going gold)." Ugly Kid Joe's mature new attitude may result in the demise of their "Ugly Kid" trademark, the ob- noxious red-headed kid that defaces both of their album s. Seen posing on "America's Least Wanted" as the Statue of Liberty with his middle finger acting as torch, the kid was said to be an amalgamation of the personalities of all the guys in the band. You know, he was the troublemaking kid that never did anything rightand didn'tcare. ButFortman revealed that may all be changing. "We're thinking about dumping it.We're all getting older. Things are going to mature naturally, anyway. There's nothing you can do about it, and now we've shown the world that hey, we do have a serious side. So maybe we'll go back (with the next album) maybe half as funny as we were before. Half serious and half funny." "America'sLeast Wanted" addsmore sides to the one-dimensional brat on its cover, balancing fast and slow, funny and serious. But don't worry - songs like "Cats in the Cradle" and "Busy Bee" in no way overshadow the characteristically silly novelty tunes which sent "As Ugly As They Wanna Be" to multi- platinum status. "Everything About You" (featuring SNL's"Pat")and the '92remixof"Madman" (about a psycho killer loose in Disneyland) have fueled descriptions of Ugly Kid Joe as "Faith No More meets the Three Stooges." As far as whether Ugly Kid Joe is seen as ajoke is of no concern to Fortman. "We pretty much just don't really care what people think," he said. "I't'sjustmusic; we did it and it's out. There's no serious goal. There's no image- goal. It's just us putting out music." And laughing all the way to the bank. Plenty of hope in this Satanic 'Interview' by Melissa Rose Bernardo A very evil-looking figure in ghastly makeup gave me my ticket and handed me ared program with burnt edges. An equally ghastly figure frisked me as I was entering the theater. A sign proclaimed "Abandon Every Hope Ye That Enter." It was clear that I was not entering the Arena Theatre; I was entering hell. (Someone commented on the irony of all of us fighting to get good seats in hell, due to the general admission policy.) And it was hot as hell in that theater - I mean in hell. "A Hopeful Interview with Satan," OyamO's self-proclaimed "modern morality fable," was a successful dramatization of hell and the fate of its inhabitants. You're asking what this whole interview thing is about. Icarus Asphalt, anewly deceased writer, is senttohell. He claims that he wants to interview Satan, and give her a good image. Of course,in order for PChimtopublishhis book,shemustlethim A Hopeful Interview return to life. The play chronicles his attempts to leave hell, a series of inter- with Satan ruptions and finally his own judgment. Arena Theatre Andby the way-Satan is ashe. And April 8, 1993 sheisbrass, crass and proud of it. She has afilthy mouth and a smile that could kill. And she knows some mean wrestling moves. Sarah Hauck was unrelenting as Satan; she effectively depicted the many dimensions of OyamO's Satan - the torturer, the judge, the sensual woman, the fallen angel, the humanitarian and the would-be lounge singer. (Yes, before she was Satan, she was a singer in France.) Hauck managed to be all those Satans without becoming redundant or clichd. Paul Molnar was a one-dimensional Icarus, which is inherent in the character. Molnar was an appropriately inquisitive and overly-zealousjournalist, attempting to outsize his role as prisoner and enter the more powerful role of Satan. But he continuously employed the same hand gestures, the same posture and the same inflection in all of his lines. Despite a spectacular torture scene, writhing and twitching in a burning chair, Molnar's Icarus became tiresome and uninteresting. As the Attendant, Heather Finnegan was an entertaining spectacle throughout the show - screaming, jumping up and down, flailing her arms, spasmodically And by the way - Satan is a she. And she is brass, crass and proud of it., She has a filthy mouth and a smile that could kill. And she knows some mean wrestling moves. twitching, and contorting herself in various ways. She forced us ("I want everyone to sing with me, motherfuckers!") into screaming her twisted anthem: "Pain! Ilovepain! Itmakesmenew again!"Finneganmade good useofextremes; for example, obnoxiously bellowing "ASS-" and barely audibly whispering "-hole." Kevin Green was both amusing and shocking as the New Satan. He entered with a warm "Mazel Tov!" singing "IfI Were a Rich Man" from "Fiddler on the Roof." But the fun-loving Jewish man adapted to the role of Satan instantly, dealing with Icarus by ripping out his tongue and sending blood dripping everywhere. Green delivered a fierce monologue directed at the human race in general, but affected each one of us individually with his force and brutality. "Despair is the greatest sin in the world!"he screamed. Additionally, through that powerful monologue, he managed to keep his Jewish accent. I learned a lot from OyamO's hell. There are no women in hell. Elvis is there, so I guess that means that he's dead. And Shakespeare is in hell. (I know; I'm as devastated as you are. I had always hoped I would meet him in heaven.) And a 0 The band Ugly Kid Joe has a reputation for being obnoxious, like that annoying redhead on their album covers. 0 No Blue RazzBerry BlowPops for 'Sandlot' stars SANDLOT Continued from page10 of Mr. Evans. I'm not sure if it was David Mickey orme that made the interview so bland, but I really wanted to move on to the kiddies. They came traipsing in a few mo- ments later clad in your requisite base- ball hats. They were Grant Gelt and Mike Vitar, who respectively play Bertram and Benny in "The Sandlot." But wait. There was a third one with them.ItwasMike's olderbrotherPablo, who plays the grown up Benny for the last few minutes of the movie. He was quite a hot potato. I felt like Cindy Brady with Television-itis. Luckily he sat in a chair across the room and I was able to divert my eyes. We got down to business. My as- sistant Douglas produced two Blue RazzBerry Blowpops for them to try, butFelix intervened because they were going to the Detroit News next. Per- haps blue tongues wouldn't be appro- priate for the front page. The boys were a little perplexed when I asked them what color Crayola they would like to be and why, but they answered everything else like pros. Grant, who likely had an attention deficit disorder as a small child, and is definitely not like his nerdy character in the film, said that he hadn't seen any muggings or drive-by shootings in Detroit, but he brought "a bullet-proof vest, just in case." Mike talked about the red Chero- kee he will buy from his brother, and about taking Dad's car for a spin when he was 13. Upon hearing this, Pablo informed his sibling that the price on the Cherokee was now going up. In the movie, Vitar plays the River Phoenix "Stand By Me" role as the likable Benny. In order to face the menacing "Beast," Benny dons some pretty fancy PF Flyers. Vitar liked the shoes. "They're better than the Pumps," he said. At that point, as he often did duringthe interview, David Mickey piped up and told Vitar he could get him a pair through his connections. My sidekick Douglas then offered the all-important question, "Do you have a girlfriend?" Trained in the ways of Hollywood, neither actor would divulge a name, afraid of insulting the other nymphets. Pablo didn't answer the question at all. Both of them talked about school, saying acting was just a hobby. Gelt is planning on spending the summer doing a play in Chicago and Vitar is up for the lead in "Mighty Ducks 2." For the remainder of the time, Grant and Mike acted like nor- mal teens, joking and laughing on the couch. That was very refreshing to see and I was almost afraid to leave them with David Mickey. They even said they were having fun. How lovable. The boys were a little perplexed when I asked them what color Crayola they would like to be and why... afraid to look at him because he would have the same effect on my brain as NutraSweet and I would be struck by a momentary loss of my short-term memory? He turned away and I was devastated. Downstairs, Douglas and I waited for the valets to whisk my car over and a limo was parked up on the side. Douglas told me it was probably theirs, but I disagreed. Of course, it did turn out to be theirs. We exchanged heartfelt good-byes with the boys. My car approached and so did Pablo. He gently put his arm around me and told me that he wasn't really offended that I asked him no questions. Then he informed me that his whole family is really, really, proud of Mike. What a guy. He might have said something else after that, but I don't know, 'cause by that time I was gone. Here's thekicker:He went toget in my car. I said, seductively as pos- sible, "Do you need a ride?" But he said, "No thanks," and got in the limo. After my heart slowed to a reason- able pace, I got in the car and Douglas and I drove into the sunset. 0 0 0 Felix cut in on the good time and the interview was over. Pablo, how- ever, was deeply insulted that he had been asked no questions. Ididn'tknow what to do. Should I explain that I was r a Hey Wolverines! | 250 COME ccIN CLEAN UP 1 3 ~ ~If~E ID APT*I | | B u OFF I I Each wash L .