The Michigan Daily- Weekend etc. - January 14, 1993- Page 5


TI

"The Last of the Mohicans" has made most of the top tens. But even if you aren't interested in the cinematic value, you can sit back in awe of how these guys run. If only there were an Oscar for best muscle tone.
in't th (h pn- More insights from the film staff

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Michael Thompson

Best Catsuit: "Batman Returns"
Worst Sequel: "Lethal Weapon 3"
WorstMelanieGriffith Performance:
1 tie) "Shining Through" and "AStranger
kmong Us"
Most Convincing British Accent:
(eanu Reeves ("Dracula")
Most Disappointing Movie with
Dool Title: "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer"'
Most Egregious Case of Good Mov-
ies Inappropriately Called Great: (tie)
"The Player," "Unforgiven" and "A

River Runs Through It."
Most Inappropriate Use of "Come-
back Kid" Phenomenon to Describe an
Active Director: (tie) Robert Altman
("The Player") and Clint Eastwood
("Unforgiven")
Most Exciting Adaptation of a Bor-
ing Book: "The Last of the Mohicans"
Best Actor Who Inadvertently
Turned into a Stud: Daniel Day-Lewis
("The Last of the Mohicans")
MostAnnoyingMovie Symbol:"X"

Best Robin Williams Career Move:
"Aladdin"
WorstRobin WilliamsCareerMove:
"Toys"
Best Performance by an Animal:
Jean Claude Van Damme ("Universal
Soldier"), for the third consecutive year
Most Unfairly Underrated Movie:
"Batman Returns"
Most Ridiculous Case of a Movie
Taken Seriously that was Actually Just
the Director Playing a Good Joke on the
Audience and Laughing all the Way to
the Bank: "Basic Instinct"
MostDisgusting Teeth-to-Face Con-
tact in a Major Motion Picture Since
"Cape Fear": "Reservoir Dogs"
BestUseofaBeethoven Symphony:
(tie) "Howards End" and "The
Waterdance"
The How Did ThisGetMade Award:
"Newsies"
Best Cannibalism: "Delicatessen"
Best (and Most Extreme) Violence:
Knife in skull ("Under Siege")
Most Sorely Missed Actor: Arnie
Schwarzenegger
Most Promising Movies For the Year
to Come: If you didn't get enough of
Merchant Ivory and Howards End this
year, don't worry. They've got a new
movie coming out next fall reuniting
Howards End stars Anthony Hopkins
and Emma Thompson called "Remains
of the Day." Mike Nichols was set to
direct this adaptation of the Booker
Award-winning novel by Kazuo
Ishiguro until, apparently impressed by
HowardsEnd, Nichols turned the project
over to the Merchant Ivory team.
Even Martin Scorsese is getting into
the costume picture act these days,
though he prefers to stay on this side of
the Atlantic. His "The Age of Inno-
cence," starring Daniel Day-Lewis,
Michelle Pfeiffer and Winona Ryder is
expected to be the major Oscar con-
tender next year.
The most eagerly awaited film of
next year, however, has got to be Gus
Van Sant Jr.'s follow-up to "My Own
Private Idaho," "Even Cowgirls Get the
Blues." It's got supercool actors Uma
Thun, n and Keanu Reeves, and it's
based --"n the Tom Robbins book.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.'
7.
8.
9.

Malcolm X
Howards End
Glengarry Glen Ross
Reservoir Dogs
Husbands and Wives
The Player
Scent of a Woman
A River Runs Through It
Hoffa

audience thinks is himself. He is care-
free, wild, and perhaps a little crazy.
Here, however, Nicholson doesn't let
himself come out; he goes into the char-
acter and becomes Jimmy Hoffa - a
performance sure to be overlooked by
millions.
A year has come and gone so time
for more crap. Let's just hope that
"Jurrasic Park" is vintage Spielberg and
"Bad Lieutenant" is released in this
state.

Disclaimer: I know these choices
may not be the absolute worstmovies to
come out this year, but unfortunately I
haven't seen ten really good ones. My
year was filled with mediocre movies to
review or just a bad choice on a boring
night. Now that I've checked out the
lists, I know what to rent, and hopefully
you now know what bites.
Michael John Wilson

As with every year, the best comes
last. There is only one film that will
probably go unnoticed because of the
tremendous beating it's taking by most
of the critics. Contrary to popular belief,
"Hoffa" is a good film. Granted, Danny
DeVito does go a little overboard with
his characterization of Robert Kennedy.
The film, however, is redeemed by
Nicholson's incredible performance.
This isn't MacMurphy and it certainly
isn't the Joker. In most of his films
Nicholson is allowed to be what the

Sarah Weidman
(Worst 8)

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

Kuffs
Newsies
The Cutting Edge
Sneakers
Forever Young
A League of Their Own
The Last of the Mohicans
Basic Instinct

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

The Best Intentions
Howards End
Unforgiven
American Dream
Husbands and Wives
The Player
Malcolm X
Delicatessen
The Public Eye
Flirting

(See column, page 4)

After: Robbins, an established star, directs his own film, "Bob Roberts." Good thing he ditched the horn-rims.
CAN THELP CGRAND OPENING
"YOU CAN AFFORD TO LOOK THIS GOOD"

And the winner is ... Keanu Reeves for his stunning accent in "Dracula."

Continued from page 4
Worst blurbmeister: Atoughchoice
- just think of all the no-names who
want to get their names in the paper by
pretending to like bad movies, from
James Whaley to Patrick Stoner to Jeff
Craig. The winner, however, is Pat
Collins of WWOR, for calling "Home
Alone 2" "The Best Christmas Movie
Ever." Honorable mention: Susan
Granger of American Movie Classics
forcalling "Consenting Adults" "smart,"
"1492" "a classic," and "The Distin-
guished Gentleman" "a zany, irrever-
ent. laugh-a-thon 10." Ugh.

The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover"),
utterly miscast in Barry Levinson's
unwatchable bomb, "Toys."
Best use of a great British stage
actor: Tom Courtenay as the father in
"Let Him Have It."
Reasons to live in 1993(?): Martin
Scorsese's "The Age of Innocence,"
Merchant/Ivory's "Remains of the Day,"
Robert Altman's "Short Cuts," John
Singleton's "Poetic Justice," Jane
Campion's "The Piano Lesson," Gus
van Sant's "Even Cowgirls Get the
Blues" and "Army of Darkness," the
third installment in Sam Raimi's great
"Evil Dead" trilogy.

WOMEN IN FILM SERIES 1993
presents
LOURDES PORTILLO
Portillo has made more than 7 films and is co-
producer, director and writer with Susana Munoz of
Las Madres: The Mothers of Plaza de Mayo, a 1986
film about the Argentine mothers of the disappeared
that wnn more than 18 international awards and

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