Page 8- The Michigan Daily -Monday, January 11, 1993 Levinson's 'Toys' is probably the worst movie of the year Dy Camiio Fonteciiia A question lingered in my mind after departing the theater where I Toys Directed by Barry Levinson; written by Valerie Curtin and Barry Levinson; with Robin Williams, Joan Cusack, Robin Wright. and LL Cool J viewed this movie: was Barry Levinson attempting to make a movie for chil- dren that would appeal to adults, or vice versa? This clumsy film oscillates be- tween stabs at deep thoughtfulness and sheer immaturity. Inevitably, Steven Spielberg comes to mind, and another similar effort with Robin Williams, "Hook." Unfortunately, hiding behind "Toys"' wonderful crayola-colored fan- tasy world are some not very interest- ing characters and a very sketchy script. When Leslie Zevo's (Robin Will- iams) father dies, the Zevo Toys com- pany is inherited by The General (Michael Gambon), who wishes to ex- pand production into the field of war toys. Ithas been a lonc-standing policy of Zevo Toys to abstain from the cre- ation of this type of toy; but the ambi- tious General slowly takes over the fac- tory space so as to develop his secret projects. An indecisive Leslie acts too late and almost risks killing all his friends, in- cluding his high-on-life sister, Alsatia (Joan Cusack), the defected Patrick (LL CoolJ),son of theGeneral, and his lover, Gwen (Robin Wright). In the (so-called) climax of the movie, our cornered friends pit all the old cute toys against state-of- the-art, fully aimed miniature tanks and helicopters manufactured by the mega- lomaniac General. 'Do not be fooled by the previews. Williams' comedy is almost nowhere to be seen' After Leslie's friendly army has been massacred, all that remains is a battery- powered dancing couple, happily waltz- ing away oblivious to the gear-hungry weapons that are buzzing around them. This is one of the few memorable scenes before the movie comes to a complete (and literal) crash. It's a happy crash, though, so don't worry. Do not be fooled by the previews. Williams' comedy is almost nowhere to be seen. Instead, it is replaced by bad come-ons to Gwen, and a constant but stagnant anxiety about the fate of Zevo Toys. Although Williams impeccably delivers his lines, the writing's lack of imagination transforms him into a choppy, inconsistent character. Most of the time he is drowned out by the over- powering presence of his home, the fac- tory itself. Nobody is listening to him when Tetris-like portions of a wall begin closing in on him, in a claustrophobic's visual nightmare. Robin Wright is the non-entity of this movie, but it's not her fault. She serves the purpose of Leslie's romantic interest, and perhaps the purpose of having a pair of pretty eyes running amidst smoldering toys, but not much more. The pleasant surprise is Joan Cusack, perhaps because she is a part of the factory, one more of the toys, and shares their unadulterated sincerity and innocence. LL Cool J suffers from an- other underdeveloped character, and even when he is wounded I couldn't bring myself to feel for his childhood traumas. Michael Gambon, as is often the case with the bad guys, is the most focused character. His scene in the video arcade, insanely blasting away at UN vans in a came that penalizes you for doing so, is a slap in the face and the closest the movie comes to revealing Bar-y Levinson's intentions: to con- demn the passiveness with which we accept the growing violence and intol- erance ofour society, and the dilution of happiness into materialism and power. These honorable intentions fail be- cause Mr. Levinson is too busy making everyone in the audience feel guilty about notbeing an idiot like Leslie Zevo and for letting their children play Street Fighter on the Nintendo. And for an- other crucial reason: the war toys turn out to be much more fascinating than the ancient relics that Zevo churns out, stuff that your grandparents used to play with. Yes, yes, I know they're supposed to symbolize better times, but some- thing has to be wrong with the movie if the good toys (and guys) are so dull. The essential ideas are there, but a little perspective would have helped this bril- liantly packaged fiasco. TOYSisplaying at Showcase. - - i 0 $2 OFF ALL REGULAR PRICED, FULL-LENGTH CDs I AND CASSETTES IN STOCK! I Mass Meeting Thursday 7:30 p.m. Be There. I MIHIA i refouse EXPIRES 1/17193 i 'RECORDS COUPON ... ...........- . ................. ........... - U vovie Star also Sings Have you ever seen that weird movie "Alice's Restaurant"? It's an anecdotal trifle that's got lots of sixties peace and love and some (gra.vy music and stars folk music star Aro Guthrie, whose father Woody, aside from being a folk music star himself, had a movie made about him too called "Bound for Glory." Anyway, if you never got over the sixties or if you just like folk music, you can see Arlo himself tonight at the Ark. le's oot a new record called "Son of the Wind" in which he sinus several of his father's famous songs. The concert begins tonight at 7:30 pm. Call 763-TKTS. ergmania The Michican Theater is showing lots of Bergman movies now. The latest, "The Naked Night," which is showing tonight at 4:15 and tomorrow night at 7 pm, is also known as "Sawdust and Tinsel." That's what Leonard Maltin calls it anyway. Call 668- 8397. Robin Williams tried to trick you into seeing "Toys" but it's not working. Michaels graces U-Club by Kim Yaged "I don't do period jokes." Felicia Michaels and her high-pitched voice grace the U-Club tonicht with their presence. Perhaps this is not a terribly auspicious occasion for the 1992 Star Search SI100,000 Comedy Champion, but it's changing the face of L.aughtrack history. Laughtrack, the campus' bi-weekly stand up comedy show, has been incitinc chuckles from the student body since 1981. But, Chris Curtis, Laughtrack's producer, sites this as the first show being headlined by a female comedian. Michaels herself has been circling the comedy circuit for well over six years now but hit hic with the 1992 Star Search. As a result, she is slated to star in a sitcom set to air this summer on iFox. In addition, she is hoping for a spot on an I BO special. But it all started way back when... "1 was one of those people who could come up with a good comeback but about three days later," she explained. Michaels' first opportunity to perform on stage was instigated by a dare from her boyfriend at the time who was a stand up comedian. She has since parted ways with him but not the stage. With a new boyfriend under her belt and an ability to ignore her dislike for flying, Michaels is touring clubs and college towns around the country. Other than waunting to be "a strong perfomer as a man," M ichacls just wants to be "the best darn person [she] can be." But, wait, about that first comment. No. Michaels isn't saying she wants a sex change. She just wants to be recognized as a good comedian, not a good comedian "tor a woman." She indicated this as her only obstacle thus far. "SometimesIletup oil stage and I can hear people in the audience say, 'Oh, a woman.' But the mnen aren't the only ones occasionally turning up their noses. "My show's kinda 'blue,' so I hope it doesn't offend anybody ... Dirty ... it's kinda sexual." Michaels said that some "feminists" are annoyed by the content of her show. However, she believes, "If i'm saying it and tdinking it, then other people are saying it and thinking it, and I'm just a reflection of what's going on." FE'LICIA MCHAELSpeifoers tonig- t at he t U-Club rit/I VoUr' bs!" Josh Berg and student conmedians Chiris Curtis, Justin London ail Joel Zinmmer. U. of Michigan Seniors Interested in Investment Banking Opportunities with LAZARD FRERES & Co. Please Send Cover Letter, R6sume & Transcript to: Mr. Jon Q. Reynolds, Jr. Lazard Freres & Co. Suite 2400 2 North LaSalle Street Chicago, IL 60602 Information about Lazard Freres & Co. is available in the Career Planning & Placement office. For questions about the analyst position, please call either of the following individuals: Jake Reynolds (312) 704-6012 !"Y " I RESER VE OFFICERS' TRAINING CORPS GET MONEY FROM YOUR UNCLE INSTEAD. Your Uncle Sam. Every year Army ROTC even pay a flat rate for textbooks and sup- awards scholarships to hundreds of talented plies. You can also receive an allowance of : I