ALRTS Friday, December 4, 1992 *The Michigan Daily Z Page 3 3. 'Tistheseason to blow:. Mr. Murphy is no Jimmy Stewart by Jon C. Altshul It might be poetic justice to liken Eddie Murphy to Orson Welles - the ground-breaking protege who revolutionized American cinema by the age of 25, only to stumble through the rest of his mediocre ca- reer with an often interesting, yet in- variably unoriginal re-hashing of old ideas. By the same logic, however, it might also be poetic justice to liken The Distinguished Gentleman Directed by Jonathan Lynn; written by Marty Kaplan; with Eddie Murphy Geraldo Rivera to Walter Cronkite, Spinal Tap's Nigel Tufnel to Jimi Hendrix, and Derrick Alexander to Desmond Howard. Simply put, Murphy's last half dozen projects have been so abysmal that his demise can only be fairly compared with the similar nose-dives of such has-beens as Joe Piscopo and Scott Baio. Indeed, "The Distinguished Gentleman," Murphy's latest release, is no aberration from an untarnished string of belly flops that includes "Boomerang" and "Harlem Nights." Sure, with its corny Horatio Alger theme, the film seems to flow from the same comedic vein as such early blockbusters as "Trading Places" and "48 Hours," but the end result is so far from amusing that it becomes darn near offensive. The storyline, lest you haven't picked up on its disturbing simplicity from he trailers, is about as pre- dictable as the first level of Space Invaders. Small-time hustler Thomas Jefferson Johnson (Murphy) runs for Congress with selfish intentions and a bullshit campaign. Playing off pub- lic apathy and cute ethnic appeals, his victory is painless and far too prompt. The underdevelopment of his campaigning is unfortunate be- a few bucks on CDs Despite our opinion of "The Distinguished Gentleman," we're really proud of Eddie Murphy's choice of ties. cause it is during the film's opening moments that Murphy is at his best. His ostentatious laugh and signature impersonations remind the viewer of the slick charm he perfected in his earlier movies. But alas, before "The Distin- guished Gentleman" is 15 minutes old, Johnson is already headed to Washington. And bereft of a more water-tight explanation for his stunning landslide victory, the movie makes itself far too vulnerable to sustain a plausible conclusion. The remainder of the film is jum- bled and sloppy. Johnson befriends special interest lobbyists. who promise him large bribes and steady advancement. He readily accepts their hand-outs until - guess what - he meets a girl (Victoria Rowell) who gives him a conscience and sets him straight. Then, again to the utter dismay of the audience, Johnson un- veils the rampant corruption in the hierarchies of Congress. Blah, blab, blah ... Wasn't Jimmy Stewart in a movie like this? Never mind. Despite the glaring two-dimen- sionality of the plot, inconsistencies abound. For example, the tone of the movie flip-flops, oscillating from sophomoric comedy to not-so-sear- ing drama whenever Murphy leaves the frame. Furthermore, peripheral characters, such as Johnson's admin- istrative assistant Reinhardt (Grant Shaud) and left-wing congressman Elijah (Charles Dutton), are so un- derdeveloped that one is never quite sure which side they're on, or what their significance actually is. The film does, however, have some bright spots. Rowell drops a pretty witty zinger about sexual ha- rassment, and the Nixonesque repre- sentative Dick Dodge (Lane Smith) does a fairly convincing job as Johnson's nemesis. But of course, keeping in the film's juvenile style, Murphy milks the pun on Dodge's first name far past the point of laughability. The funniest scene, though, is unintentional, that being Johnson and Rowell's consummation of their undying love. The dialogue is so contrived and tired, and recited with so little passion that even Melanie Griffith would be embarrassed. Murphy is clearly way out of his league when he turns into a gushy sentimentalist. "The Distinguished Gentleman" will do alright anyhow. Murphy's films, even the good ones, have all prospered despite the tireless be- ratements of critics. But with "Mo' Money" coming to video stores this month and with "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington" already there, you might be well-advised this holiday season to head to Blockbuster in- stead of Showcase. THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLE- MAN starts today at Showcase. A d'm'rlc 1 rn-ri by Jessie Halladay Chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Fa la la, la la la, la la la? Jack Frost nipping at your nose? Personally, I have never roasted a chestnut, none of my friends go around saying "Fa la la" and I've never met anyone named Jack Frost but I sure as hell wouldn't let him nip at my nose. However,; ridiculous these Yuletide sayings seem to be, something about the season of;' peace on earth and good will toward men (and women, of course) makes: them a little more palatable. Christmas music has always held a very special place in my heart. It has always been a key part of every holiday season. For years my family had. caroling parties around my neighborhood, and on Christmas morning we, would listen to old Julie Andrews albums as we opened our gifts. Then we.. would gather around and sing as my mother played the piano. I've come a long way since those carefree days of old, but music is still an essential part of my holiday spirit. No longer do my sister and I make up dances that act out the words to "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas," but I find time ; in my schedule to hum a bar or two. So at this time of the mad consumer ' rush to get the "perfect" gift, I'd like to pass on some of my Christmas mu- sic tips: 1) First of all, an economic suggestion. Why spend the extra cash on a,,; CD that you will only listen to for a month at the most when you can buy the cassette and save a couple bucks? This money will come in handy when,- you realize you forgot to buy your mom a present. 2) Not every Christmas album is a good Christmas album. Just because all your favorite tunes are there doesn't mean you will like the artist's ren-,"' dition. Take for example Travis ("Here's a Quarter Call Someone Who Cares") Tritt's new Yuletide mixture. Not one of the classics he recorded sounds anything like you'd expect. Not to mention that the first song, "Winter Wonderland," includes Travis screaming "Hit it boys!" I don'tk1 know about you, but when I think of Christmas carols, I don't think of "HitA it boys." 3) Traditional is good, but why limit yourself? While no holiday would be complete without hearing Bing Crosby croon "White Christmas" or Gene Autry sing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," there is no need to avoid anything new. Artists such as Goober and the Peas and Wynton Marsalis have both come out with worthy efforts. 4) Collections can be good ... and bad. What better way is there to get alf of your favorite season faves, done by the people who made them famous, than to buy a collection. The selection of these easy money makers is huge,,,, but choose wisely. Make sure you check who is actually singing and make- sure you are getting original recordings. Suggestions: the Motown collection is decent (if nothing else, it will make you laugh). 5) I personally recommend the Charlie Brown Christmas album. For the last 27 years this animated special has been a holiday staple. (Only now, they've come up with a new one. I guess they figured Charlie was tired of buying that same lame tree year after year.) The music, which is mostly in- strumental, takes a jazzy twist on some of the classics, but it is definitely worth a listen. I hope these suggestions help you out in your quest for the' right music to put you in the jingle bells frame of mind. After all what . would the season be without some holiday cheer playing in the background! Happy Holidays! 111 J 1111Qgil1QuV11 R11111gJ l.V1Vl n W lliC v v v AIR FORCE ROTC UNITS FILLED TO CAPACITY NOT! Don't believe everything you hear. The Air Force continues to seek outstanding students to fill future officer requirements. See yourself becoming a leader, graduating from college as an Air Force officer with fully developed qualities of character and managerial ability. Notice, too, the opportunities. Like eligibility for scholarship programs that can pay tuition, textbooks, fees... even $100 in tax-free income each academic month. Visualize a crisp uniform that reflects pride in yourself and your ability to accept challenge. Get the picture? Now make a call! 747-4093 AIM HIGH--AIR FORCE by Lia Kushnir "Imagine there're no finals, no CRISP, no GPA ... You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one ..." OK, maybe that's not ex- actly the way John Lennon sang it, but the point is that everyone has an imagination. It relieves us in trou- bled times and makes life more in- teresting. That's the idea behind the University of Michigan Children's Theatre production of "Imagi- nation." "Imagination" is an original piece of work by University student writer Elizabeth Keiser and director Micah Hyman. The piece is about "a little girl who is bored until she discovers her imagination and what she can do with it," said producer / actor Blake Robinson. "Eight of us bring the lit- tle girl's imagination to life dressbd up as the different colors of the rain- bow." The individual colors play with the little girl, and she is no longer lonely or bored. Robinson explained that the award-winning Children's Theatre "exists to bring quality theater per- formance to underprivileged children in the community. We just want people to see what we're doing." "Imagination" is the Children's Theatre's fifth show and their first production of an original script., There will be eight performances at various institutions in the Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti area. The two public performances this weekend are a unique opportunity for children of all ages to enjoy. "There isn't really a plot or a conflict," Robinson laughed. The moral is that everyone has an imagi- nation and the power to use it to make the world a happier place to be. IMAGINATION will be performed Saturday and Sunday at 5p.m. in the Frieze Building. Admission is free. For more information call 995-5395. u . No one glows like Domino's After miffing nearby resi- dents for two years Mr. Pizza, has arranged to once again re- light his world headquarters with Christmas joy. This light display, featuring hundreds of thousands of twinkling, imported lights is illuminated6 p.m. - 10 p.m. Beware, they're charging $5 per vehicle to keep the never-ending traffic down. Follow the hoards of people to Domino's Farms, Earhart Rd., off Plymouth. Captains of Industry Break out your rave whistles and cat in the hat chapeaus, kiddies! The "Communion Tour," featuring three of alternatechno's finest bands rolls into Industry tonight. See if brilliant '70s muzak-obsessed auralizers Ultramarine, mindwarp technoids Orbital, and hip hop industrialists Meat Beat Manifesto can cut it live. And if the bands, smart drinks, and endless "spiritual technology" aren't enough to whet your beat- starved brain, get this: MTV's "120 Minutes" host Dave Kendall will be on hand to MC! Let us know if the most hated man in alternateendom's hairpiece survives the mael- strom. Industry is located at 15 S. Saginaw in illustrious "New" Pontiac. Call 334-1999 for directions and details. Be a contender Catch Brando when he was young, thin, and good (well, he's still good). "On the Waterfront" plays free Sunday at 7 p.m. in the NatSci Auditorium. 6 S ,. Adap 40 j 'I' I *. '4 I J S PLAN HOM ECOM INC 6 0 .~' ~.suiccesfu atiia-no Careerin orde~r to1 I