Page 14 -The Michigan Daily - Friday, October 23, 1992
SPORTING VIEWS I
by Ken Davidoff
Daily Sports Writer
There comes a time in a boy's life when he must
stand up for that which he believes. For me, that time is
now.
I was sitting in the Union by my lonesome
yesterday, reading a Michigan Daily and munching on a
Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich (copyright 1992),
when I stumbled upon an incisive, biting critique of all
the loyal fans who choose to stand up during football
games. Needless to say, I was so outraged by this attack
it took nearly half a Frosty (copyright 1978) just to get
the blood flowing in my veins again.
What is it about those of us who stand that so
profoundly irks those of you who sit? Is it our never-
ending spirit? Our tendency to be on all the television
crowd reaction shots? Our amazing ability to withstand
ice cubes - tossed at us by the sitters - like a
seasoned hockey goaltender?
Say all you want about school spirit, sitters, but the
bottom line is that you are the people the Japanese were
referring to when they said that Americans were fat and
lazy.
Why stand? you ask. I could give you reasons from
now until the guy who played Ralph Malph wins an'
Oscar. First of all, there is the intimidation factor. What
scenario would you rather have Lou Holtz encounter
when Notre Dame visits Michigan next September?
LAZY BOY SCENARIO: Golly, these fans sure
look comfy. I really appreciate them being so polite to
me and my boys.
STANDER SCENARIO: Aye, caramba. Where did
all these fans come from? Screw it, I don't want to be
humiliated. Kids, get back in the bus. We'll just tell'em
we forgot to bring oranges and water for halftime.
You don't think standing makes a difference? Watch
a Duke basketball game sometime. Try to count the
number of people sitting down. If it's more than two, I
Writer stands up
for standing up
owe you a pack of Chuckles.
That's not convincing enough? How 'bout plain old
common sense? You wind up standing up during about
90 percent of the plays anyway. You exert more energy
by standing and watching a play, then sitting during the
huddle, then getting back up for the next play, etc., than
you would if you just stood up the whole time.
Do hockey players unlace their skates every time
they sit out a shift because their feet are aching, then put
them back on? I think not. Did Steve Martin remove
those fake arrows from his head during the
intermissions of his comedy acts, then put them back
on? Actually, I have no idea. If anyone knows, could
you give me a call? I was always sort of curious about
that.
Oh, and then there's that little footnote in our
esteemed nation's history known as the First
Amendment. Know it? "Congress shall make no law"
prohibiting the freedom of speech, and so on. The way I
see it, if I shell out 10 clams for a football game ticket, I
can do whatever the heck Ifwant as long as it's not
really offensive, like going up to people and saying,
"Hello, I'm Robert Goulet."
We, as students, are the lifeblood of the University.;
If we don't provide the proper support for our athletic
teams, we risk future Michigan dominance. Don't like
standing up? Try the alumni section. They'll be happy
to have you over there.
Finally, my opponents propose that by the end of the
game everyone is sitting anyway. Oh, really. If you're
going to generalize like that, why don't you just say that
all the "Police Academy" films are equally funny? All
right, toughs, when the gun sounds Saturday against
Minnesota, check out Section 25, Row 48, Seat 25. This
scribe will still be there, standing, egging his team on.
Of course, he will probably also have some bumps and
bruises from all the things thrown at him, but some
things are worth fighting for.
01
The Worm remains underground
AUBURN HILLS (AP) -
Delinquent Detroit Pistons forward
Dennis Rodman is unwelcome at
The Palace until he's ready to put on
a team uniform, says Pistons presi-
dent Tom Wilson.
"It's become a distraction,"
Wilson said Wednesday, referring to
Rodman's appearances at the first
three exhibition games. "If he's
ready to be part of the team, he's
welcome."
"If he's not, we'd rather not have
him there."
Only a few fans seemed to notice
Rodman at the games Sunday and
Tuesday, watching from team owner*
Bill Davidson's private suite. He
caused a stir last Friday when he
watched from a seat behind the bas-
ket at Crisler Arena in Ann Arbor.
"Here the team is struggling, and
the solution is sitting 40 feet away in,
a private box," Wilson said. "And
that gets to the coaches and players
who have busted their tails. We've
got a lot of work to do, and this
doesn't help us focus on the things
we have to do."
Rodman has missed training
camp, in because of unspecified per-
sonal problems.
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