Page 8- The Michigan Daily - Weekend etc. - October 15, 1992 Seagal cooks another turkey by Michael Thompson On October 9, 1992, the Oscar race began and ended. The best actor award goes to Tommy Lee Jones for "Under Siege." The reasoning? Be- cause it's obvious that when Jones lost the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for "JFK" in 1991 he also lost his mind and agreed to star in this abys- mal Steven Seagal turkey. Under Siege Directed by Andrew Davis; written by J. F. Lawton; with Steven Seagal and Tommy Lee Jones Here's the blowout story in 25 words or less: A group of terrorists hijack a big boat and Seagal beats the living shit out of them. So what was probably the idea of "Die Hard III: Dead," is now the fascinating drama "Under Siege." Why does Tommy Lee Jones put himself up on screen with Steven Seagal, better known as Captain Cha- risma? Jones ("Lonesome Dove") is a capable actor, and if he's smart, he'll have another Oscar chance. The only logical reason can be the money in- volved. And I hope he got a lot, be- cause he was the best thing about the movie. He even has the funniest stunt: he falls down. And it's hilarious! On a more serious side, this film has more holes in it than most of the battleships after Pearl Harbor. Char- acters disappear for half the film only to show up when needed. The heroes sneak around for the first half of the film while in the second half they casually stroll around the deck of the ship. And in terms of martial arts action, forget it. See a Van Damme picture instead. To simply say this movie sucks just isn't enough. It's boring and dull. Anyone could have saved this boat. Everyone is an idiot except Seagal. And remember he's just a cook. This film might have had a chance if John McTiernan ("Die Hard," "The Hunt for Red October") had directed it; instead we have Andrew Davis, who probably couldn't make a suc- cessful Energizer Rabbit commercial. The sad truth here is that this film will probably make millions. UNDER SIEGE is playing Showcase. 0 Above the law and as hard to kill as ever, Steven Seagal is out for justice once again in his latest money-makin' machine, "Under Siege." From Moscow to Toronto to us BIRTHDAY Continued from page 1 art of direct message, like political message or social message, whatever, it cannot be like this." According to Mirzoev, modern theater is a completely different art form from what we generally think of as being theater. He puts modern the- ater in a catagory all its own, a cat- egory devoid of musicals and other not-so-serious productions. Pinter is a prime example of what Mirzoev considers modern theater. "So if we're talking about modern theater, I think it should be compli- cated and it should challenge people to think, to experience very new things or all things. Let's say it's never direct message. It's always something else. It's always more complicated," Mirzoev said. "So, that's why I think if we're talking about directing, the artof interpretation, even though your working with classical piece, like Chekov or Shakespeare, you should introduce your own vision of this. Only in this case will theater be alive. It's impossible to transfer, literally transfer, text into theater art. It's not art anymore." His visions of these already avant- garde works are sometimes seen as strange and innovative. "When people ask me why are you doing with Pinter such strange things, it's not Pinter. Everybody will say that it's not Pinter. Absolutely right, it's not Pinter. It's not the play 'The Birthday Party.' It is production 'The Birthday Party.' It's another art." Mirzoev totally immerses himself in his work. He refuses to direct plays that he does not like, not because of arrogance, but out of a deep need to feel connected to his productions. He explained that if he could not see a vision of the play, it was pointless to try and direct it. "It's very much spiritual art for me, spiritual experience directing of each play. Even though there are skills, there is professional skills and there should be and I am still learning and it's constantly like this. But choice of the play, or choice to direct some- thing, should be absolutely connected with my state of my soul and my mind. Otherwise I cannot do it. It's like asking poet to please write some- thing about geese. It doesn't work like this." Mirzoev's decision to direct "The Birthday Party" was spurred by a sug- gestion from the University that he do a play about utopia. "Actually, I had in mind this play constantly. Itjust didn'thappen. Prob- ably I felt I don'thave therightpeople or something was not completely de- veloped in my mind about this play. And when University suggested to me to find play with utopian context, I remember "The Birthday Party" and everything came together." Mirzoev hopes to return to Mos- cow this May to direct. But this is not an easy feat to accomplish with all the political changes constantly occuring in the country. Money poses the big- gest problem getting his show pro- duced there. "(The recent political upheaval) makes everything much more diffi- cult and complicated," he said. "This is paradox. It was lack of political freedombefore.Now, there isnoprob- lem. There is no censorship. There is no, political persecution. But there is absolutely destroyed society, not just in economical sensebutin moral sense also. Absolutely destroyed fabric of society means that there is no money for art and there is no need for art. Actually in Moscow, it was abso- lutely unique situation, like artistic world, it was huge world enormously connected and almost isolated from rest of society, almost like utopia." 01 Enlarged to show detail. J & C Ferrara Co Inc Give Her A Kiss On Sweetest Day This beautifully crafted sterling silver kiss by J & C Ferrara is a perfect gift for any occasion when you want to show affection. And, how about wrapping it with a package of real Hershey's Milk Chocolate Kisses to satisfy her sweet tooth. Then, the rest is up to you- a kiss or two of y our own wouldn't be bad. Kiss in SterlingSilver . . . . . . . $19.95 Also available inn 14K Gold and 18K Gold. Exusively Licensed Trademark of Hershey Foods Corp. J & C Ferrara Co., Inc. Licensee. No sissified restaurants here a oNow on sale- Gargoyle T-shirts Buy one Inc ll be ~ your est .friend., dof course, you w on'r e 2 FOOD Continued from page 2 and your no-good friends. People of the nonconfrontational persuasion should refrain from complaining about nitpicky minutiae, like getting the liver and onions of the geriatric behind you. English is definitely a second language at Frank's, and hostility is the discourse of choice. Nonetheless, regular patronage definitely has its rewards. Once while eating at the counter, the cook put a plate of food on the empty space next to me. I contemplated conscripting a few choice morsels of ham, but mo- ments later a regular walked in, sat down in front of the food, and com- menced ingestion of the aforemen- tioned grub. Most of Frank's University crowd consists of upperclasspeoples. Freshpeoples and sophpeoples are probably not disenchanted enough with Denny's. The atmosphere is hauntingly set by the endless repeti- tions of lilting Kenny Rogers ballads set to Muzak. Conversations run the gamut from the moronic ("I can't believe I puked in class") to the intel- lectual ("you think puking in class v 4 te. r - bes~ affects my grade?") The next time you pass Frank's, look in the hazy, grease-spackled win- dow, contemplate the pernicious aro- mas emanating from within, make sure you have three bucks, and get into the action and out of the cold. The phrase "acquired taste" has no mean- ing at Frank's, but "tongue-numbing gut-bomb" does. Look for me when you get there. Frank's Restaurant 334 Maynard 761-5699 What to bring: Formula 409. Who to bring: Formula 409. Faux pas phrase: "I think I'll have the Egg-Beaters." What to wear: Last night's jeans. Dumb query: "Are there any cleaner tables?" What to order: Not bottled water. 0I 4,- 1(. ' E Q E )VENR' X150 D Cc, h ~~~~ENINE Rlr ir 1 r wc t THIKI 74 Actualc 4eS S4ED "I e Rear view of Arnold "No Arms, no legs, no head" McCarthy sporting Gargoyle's new T-shirt (legs not shown.) IN NOW-- You've read about them in USA Today and seen them on MTV, but now you can have one of your very own! Grateful Dead Lithuanian Basketball Team tye-dye t-shirts ( ;' lusuruugrtsele"in) 0 340 1/2 S. State I I~a f (upstairs) 994-3888 ORV1 BROWNING- I SI/ I I