"

Page 4-The Michigan Daily- Thursday, September 17, 1992

1 4fli 41r 4,
i

420 Maynard Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan 48 109
764 - 0552

MATHiEW 1). R ENNILE
Opinion Editors
YAEL CITRO
GEOFFREY EARLE
AMITAVA MAZUMDAR

Edited and Managed
by Students at the
University of Michigan

Unsigned editorials represent a majority, of the Daily's Editorial Board.
All other cartoons, signed articles. and letters do not necessarily represent the opinion of the Daily.
FR M~I'II~ A LY1111111111................

UHS fills demand for tests

NAA I Tr A 114NUTIE ... WsE RE WE
SuPPoSED T'V o HE OPT1OMAL
ASSIGN/MENT FROMT THE TuDy
G DE To TH E T oxTc4 KS? CoURSTE-
PA CK .F M NT R ST V F
FA SUPPlESN& ;09S-rUDY FROM'v
THEe OPTiOJN L C OURSPAC-K -Tb
i2 /
'[rH- E 5'UP L EM 1EI JT 7E X 7t~ooK ,
--
o;Is/'
Cae tdns ighs eposiiite
- rN-
KNOW YOUR RIGHTS: PART III
This is it. The final installment of the university of Michigan's Statement of Students' Rights and Responsi-
bilities... the code. Tomorrow, the Daily will be holding its first ever Issues Forum featuring a variety of
different perspectives regarding the code. Read it, know it, join the debate.

If you believe Pat Robertson, Planned Parent-
hood is engaged in a conspiracy of eugenics to
try to reduce the number of third-world people
through birth control. Thankfully, recent efforts by
Planned Parenthood of Mid-Michigan and Uni-
versity Health Services (UHS) prove otherwise.
The two organizations have been laboring to dis-
seminate HIV information and make testing more
accessible to students, faculty and staff. UHS even
managed to keep within its current budget.
Both UHS and Planned Parenthood report giant
leaps in the number of people requesting the HIV
test ever since basketball legend Magic Johnson
announced that he had contracted the HIV virus.
They had to make a choice between two goals:
offering the most detailed information in a secure
environment, or reaching as many people as pos-
sible. Given the nature of the growing AIDS epi-
demic, they chose wisely. By restructuring its
testing procedures, UHS has met the new demand
and made its services available to many more
students. Planned Parenthood responded similarly
by opening, for the first time, an anonymous
testing clinic. These facile adaptions to difficult
circumstances will be an invaluable service to the
public.
UHS's new testing process includes an hour-
long educational group session and a private meet-
ing with a counselor for 15 minutes. Earlier, each
patient was counseled individually for a full half-
hour. Although initial private consultation is more
comfortable for patients, it prevents the clinic
from reaching as many people as possible. By
offering the pre-testing information in a group
setting, 50 percent more people can be tested. And
patients will actually receive more counseling by
the time they leave UHS.

Critics of the changes are concerned that the
group requirement violates anonymity. But UHS
has adequately addressed these concerns. Partici-
pants use pseudonyms during the group session
and the private consultation that follows. Nurses
entertain questions which might reveal personal
information only in the private session. Although
group sessions are limited to 15 people, the results
are entirely confidential. Furthermore, those who
want total privacy can still use anonymous testing
services at the county clinic in Ypsilanti or at
Planned Parenthood.
Some students feel embarrassed about being
seen by peers or instructors at the educational
session. But these fears may be unfounded. First,
there should be no shame or danger in getting tested
for HIV, let alone simply receiving information
about it. Getting tested is a socially responsible
action that, along with practicing safer sex, all
members of the University community would do
well to follow.
Second, people taking the test should not be
worried about revealing their sexual orientation,
since massive numbers of both heterosexuals and
homosexuals are now being tested, and anyone can
get the disease. Third, if patients run into people
they know at the session (a possible embarrassing
situation) they should remember that everyone is
there for the same reason.
During an era when health care costs are rising
at exponential rates, AIDS funding is inadequate,
insurers won't touch clients with AIDS, and sexu-
ally transmitted diseases are running rampant, many
organizations are content to make excuses. But
UHS and Planned Parenthood have instead re-
sponded with humanity and fiscal responsibility.
Their actions should be commended.

.

EFFORTS TO EDUCATE THE
STUDENT COMMUNITY ON
THEIR RIGHTS, RESPONSIBILI-
TIES AND THESE STANDARDS
A. Education and Prevention
The prevention of behavior that
violates these standards and the
establishment of effective procedures
with due concern for all parties
require a thoughtful educational
program.
1. The University will provide
resources and time for the prevention
of, and education about conduct that
violates these standards.
The University will provide
information to deans, student affairs
staff, chairs, and directors in each
unit concerning: (a) student rights
and responsibilities under this policy;
(b) how complaints are mediated or
formally filed; (c) examples of
incidents of and possible resolutions;
(d) descriptions of how and when to
report; and (e) sources of support and

information for victims and respon-
dents.
2. Deans and heads of major
administrative units are strongly
encouraged to discuss these standards
at meetings of faculty, staff and
teaching assistants. In addition, the
deans and heads of major administra-
tive units are urged to examine
practices and behavior within their
own units that may be inequitable or
unjust to students.
3. Training programs for
residential advisers, those who meet
students in crisis situations and others
serving in an advising capacity to
students, will include training about
referrals, resources, and methods for
handling conduct covered by this
policy.
4. The Office of Student Affairs
will develop an overall educational
program for students dealing with
issues covered in this statement and

will provide information, definition,
support, identification of resources
and exploration of behavioral
alternatives. This educational
program should be directed toward,
but not restricted to, new undergradu-
ate and graduate/professional students.
5. The University will publish
annually this statement and the
procedures, including the resources
available to advise, counsel and assist
in the mediation or reporting of
violations of these standards. The
information will explain to utilize
University-wide and school-specific
resources.
B. Exit Interviews
The University will survey
annually a sample of departing
students to measure the existence and
frequency of incidents that violate
these standards, with a focus on
violent or intimidating conduct, as
well as survey all participants in both
informal and formal proceedings.


Family leave helps family values

t. J:;T:':
f ! .'.1'r rvti" ' :rti
T tfrr ( '' ! ..' , :"rii:": :"'v:ti 1 'r:i{. ^:;: {:};:j:}: :2:}' }$}ii: Y i:: :{::C:1:;{{:: 1 ""?a"X^}: :v>i,'">: i: :"7}t :{ti i: :{ l r?>:: titi":J a ' :":": E:ati:};ti }:;:C"'. j:a;;v 7:": }$: :ti: :C ;"
I r/1 . ~.. . r. :Si"
ovvrrn"
.v:

Last week, Congress gave President Bush a
second chance to put his money where his
mouth is, and support the American family. The
Family and Medical Leave bill, which Congress
sent to the president, would require employers to.
give workers 12 weeks of unpaid leave for family
and personal medical emergencies. Still, the presi-
dent, who vetoed a similar measure in 1990, has
promised a repeat performance. His continuous
opposition to family leave makes his commitment
to "family values" ring hollow. What's most ironic
about the controversy is that Bush pledged to sign
a family and medical leave act during the 1988
presidential campaign. Unfortunately, his com-
mitment to the family did not extend beyond
election day.
His reasons for opposing the bill are stale and
outdated, considering that members from both
sides of the aisle in Congress have repeatedly
demonstrated strong support for the legislation.
Speaker of the House Thomas Foley argued, "No
legislation we will consider this year focuses so
intensely and clearly on family values as the Fam-
ily and Medical Leave Bill." Rep. Henry Hyde (R-
111.), one of the most conservative members of the
House, echoed Foley's sentiments: "A woman
should not have to choose between having a baby
and keeping a job. It would be one less thing to
worry about for a woman who is pregnant or a
father whose child is sick. Family values require
you to support the bill."
The president has chosen to ignore the advice
of members, calling the bill "election year poli-

tics," -- this coming from the president who criti-
cized wasteful spending and then handed out F-15s
and F-16s like party favors.
However, most economists argue the bill would
cost relatively little and would benefit business.
Marge Roukema (R-R.I.) said, "There is not one
shred of evidence that this will be costly to busi-
ness." Rep. Gerry Sikorski (D-Minn.) pegged the
cost of the bill at $6 per week for businesses.
More than 80 percent of adults backed the
measure in a recent Gallup poll and some 30
million families could benefit from the proposed
legislation. Bush is ignoring the overwhelming
number of families in this country - the very
people he claims to represent.
Bush argues that the bill will hurt small busi-
ness. But, the legislation exempts companies with
less than 50 employees. Additionally, the bill will
help some firms save money. It would cost small
businesses less money to allow trained workers to
take time off than to continually hire and train new
and inexperienced replacements.
Currently, 11 states and the District of Colum-
bia have family and medical leave acts and there
have not been any adverse effects on business.
Bush will certainly veto the bill this week and
miss another chance to turn election-year rhetoric
into reality. The Family and Medical Leave bill is
an attempt to bring the United States inline with the
rest of the world. No industrialized country allows
businesses to dismiss women, or others who need
emergency leave to be with sick relatives -except
the United States.

Cops silence musician
To the Daily:
This University claims to be
free of both thought-police and
racial harassment. Explain to me,
then, the actions of the black-
shirted fascists roaming the
campus (Fascism: a system which
denies the right to dissent and
restricts freedom of expression). I
refer to the black-uniformed cops
on bikes.
In the West Engineering Arch,
a local musician, Dave Blair, was
performing. Was he threatening
the public safety? No - unless a
guitar is counted as a deadly
weapon. Was he obstructing
traffic, creating a nuisance, or

impairing the smooth functioning
of the University? No to all of the
above - except, perhaps, in the
eyes of minions of the systems
threatened by songs of protest.
The cops demanded identifica-
tion, asked how he was support-
ing himself, and told him to pack
it up and move.
His crime? In legal terms -- a
non-student performing without a
permit. A few hundred yards
away, Preacher Mike was doing
his thing on the Diag. Does he
have a permit; is he a student?
Dave Blair is a lot less noisy,
for sure; yet it was his freedom of
expression which was taken
away, his dissenting voice which
was silenced. Why? Because he's
Black? Because he's offering a

real alternative to mindless
allegiance to the system? The is a
crime not when such a voice
makes itself heard, rather when it
is silenced.
Jonathan Harrison
RCjunior
The Daily encourages its
readers to voice their opinions. All
letters should be 150 words or
less. All op-ed pieces should not
exceed 3,000 characters. Send
submissions to The Michigan
Daily, 420 Maynard, Ann Arbor,
MI 40109. Or via MTS: The
Michigan Daily: Letters to the
Editor.
The editors reserve the right to
edit all submission for style and
space.

r}Y b"Y.
:titiy
r.w ..
XX.

Vote '92: a chicken in every pot pie

F .:< :
... ..:
," ." T ,
:;'#::.f 3 1 ti };.' [ f};:;,;'.,': 2 tj: :;; .,'"$::'}?:{Cv:;:":{y}:: :. :"':" [ }; ": a}] +''' ''' '''> ;:';: .;.":;$ ':$';ti;}S{1;j",.'7'r:":
.v. F
"".a"ro. :v:, ::::::
J:{:1' ::ti i}:":":? ........................................................." ..........................................................................

Editors' Note: The Bottom Line, which will appear periodically, is a new feature on the Opinion Page.
We will take a less serious look at the smaller issues which nevertheless affect students every day.
AAPD:'the new easy rid ers

This summer I sold my soul.
I did volunteer work for a presi-
dential candidate - a candidate
with no political experience, who
has not defined his positions on any
major issues, yet is attempting to
buy his way into the White House
and subvert the democratic process
through a sinister cult of personal-
ity. Iam referring, obviously, to Big
Boy.
Yes, Big Boy. Maybe you've
seen the
"Big Boy
for Presi-
dent" me- 9JNT A N
diablitz. As
an insider, I -
can assure
you that
this is far
more than a
mere publicity campaign. You see,
this summer I interned as a copy
writer at the advertising firm that
handles Big Boy, and gained some
valuable experience in the field of
writing Big Boy dessert menus,
which could come in handy if I am
ever kidnapped by family food fa-
natics and forced to forge dessert
menus. Actually, this is not quite as
unlikely as it sounds, based the fol-
lowing piece of information which
I also learned this -.ammer:
There is a small but growing

is very similar to early Christian
treatmentof Jesus. I have seen paint-
ings of Big Boy performing
miracles, such as diving deep be-
neath the sea with a school of fish
or quarterbacking a football team
to victory - all with his pompa-
dour hairstyle completely intact, a
miracle in and of itself. Outside
each restaurant stands a giant statue
of an omnipotent Big Boy smiling
benevolently down upon us.
There is even a complete line of
clothing which bears Big Boy's
image. There are people who wear
this clothing out in public, volun-
tarily. People who can vote and
legally purchase assault rifles.
I started off as a small cog in the
Big Boy machine, writing radio
commercials about the Big Boy
Breakfast Special. If you ever need
to write commercials for Big Boy -
and you very well may - the secret
is to use the words "delicious" and
"homemade."
My conscience was first tested
when I had to urge the public to try
the "Down Home Chicken PotPie.
Now I had no ethical problems
with describing, say, the "Country
Fried Steak" as "delicious," because
this is true if you define "delicious"
in the loosest sense of the word,
meaning, "unlikely to cause un-
controllable vomiting and/or

sound appealing."
"How about, 'And try our Down
Home Chicken Pot Pie, which looks
nothing like a yeast infection! '," I
offered.
"Be a little more positive."
So I sucked up my conscience
and urged the good people of
Sandusky, Ohio to "Try our deli-
cious homemade Down Home
Chicken Pot Pie!" Little did I know
that this was merely a test to see if I
could be trusted to loyally serve Big
Boy in his presidential campaign.
The initial plan for "Big Boy for
President" was to set up a ballot box
in every restaurant where customers
could simply check off aballot with
Big Boy's name on it. An old fash-
ioned, single-candidate, soviet-style
election.
But the Big Boy executives had
second thoughts, fearing that such
an obvious sham would present an
image problem. So the revised plan
is to include Bush and Clinton on
the ballot, but to rig the election to
insure that Comrade Big Boy wins.
The ballot itself looks like this:
-George Bush _Bill Clinton
BIG BOY!
Kids who vote for Big Boy get
free sundaes; those who vote for

0
0
S

The next time you leap into a bush to avoid
being hit by another careless biker attempting
to weave through a student-filled sidewalk, don't
scream obscenities at the biker. It may be a police
officer.
A small contingent of the Ann Arbor Police
Department is taking to the streets in mountain
bikes, ensuring that even the most fleet-footed of
criminals cannot escape the long arm of the law.
These biker cops are part of the nationwide
mnva ttvrtlnnmtiit nnina-w- ae

bicycles. Many local bicyclists, as an anti-theft
precaution, carry their bike seats with them into
class. Will Ann Arbor police officers be forced to
carry bike seats into drug raids, court appearances,
and donut shops?
In fact, the switch to bikes proved so successful
that even the Department of Public Safety (DPS)
followed Ann Arbor's lead, as these police officer-
wannabes often do. Imagine this scene: Dozens of
undergraduates are recklessly endangering the pub-
n t by i,,Panin in m n ,1 n-n,,,vrcit

I