Page 4-The Michigan Daily-Weekend etc.-January 16,1992 NBCmakes loony decision by Stephen Henderson They're cute, colorful, and have a nasty habit of dropping anvils on people's heads. For years, they've dominated Saturday morning television programming, and delighted the young as well as the young at heart. But come September, the folks at NBC want nothing to do with them. The network announced late last year that this fall, it will scrap its current, cartoon-filled Saturday morning lineup and replace it with a new Saturday Today program. So, when little tykes get up early Saturday mornings, grab that unhealthy but tasty bowl of Sugar Pops and flick on NBC (Channel 4, locally), they'll be confronted with the likes of Bryant Gumbel and Willard Scott instead of the more traditional Bugs Bunny and the Smurfs. I can only imagine the shock. When I was akid, Saturday morn- ing. cartoons were my weekend bread and butter. Along with Little League, hanging out in the neigh- borhood park and an occasional birthday party, that was what Sat- urday was about- getting up at the- crack of dawn and hunkering down in front of the tube, blank-faced and starry-eyed for agood three-and-a- tte itl nictre half or four hours. Of course, it was mostly mindless, exceedingly unconstructive behavior. But when you're a kid, a little bit of that isn't so bad. And there are a lot of less productive and more mindless things kids could be doing besides watching cartoons -like memorizing fifth-grade spelling words. I wasn't discretionary in my cartoon-watching, either- The Flintstones, the Schmoo, Scooby-Doo, Superfriends, Laff Olympics, Hong KongPhooey, ind even Underdog if I got up early enough. You name it, I watched it - religiously. Sometimes I would even put two televisions in the same room so I could watch more than one show at a time - a practice I learned from my grandmother, who used to watch her soaps that way. My small world would certainly have caved in around me had I turned on the TV one Saturday and found something other than my regular cartoons ,-let alone a dry, weekend rendition of Today. That's not programming for b(ids, and as far as I was concerned, Saturday morning TV was strictly for lids. NBC apparently no longer thinks that way. In fact, the network is hoping Saturday Today will capture the attention of the little tykes' parents - a goup that has long been neglected by Saturday morning programming. -Bob Wright, president and CEO of NBC, said in a press release, "We btlieve that Saturday Today provides an attractive alternative to viewers who are interested in news and information as they begin their weekends." 'The programming shift - which will be instituted Aug. 1 - is part of NBC's "increasing commitment to news and information," according to Wright, and will expand the successful Today program to a seven-day format. But the network is quick to say that it doesn't mean the network is completely sand-bagging its young viewership. The popular but somewhat obnoxious Saved by the Bell (apre-pubuscent, Ight-hearted rip-off of Fox's Beverly Hills 90210) will stay in the Saturday morning lineup, and will be joined by a similar show designed for teens. W It's entirely possible that the network's decision will be extremely popular among adults. Who knows? Maybe they'll even revert to childhood behavior, and eat Sugar Pops while they watch. And I suppose even some :teens and pre-teens won't mind the change either. -But as for the little kids who now watch NBC every Saturday morning, a a stuttering Porky Pig would say: Th-th-th-that's all, folks! 0 S 0 It looks pretty stupid here, but Daniel Day Lewis and director Michael Mann's adaptation of Cooper's Last of the Mohicans could be pretty cool. Films to live and die for in the new year by Michael John Wilson Y ou thought '91 was great for movies? Oh, boy, wait 'til you see '92! Here's a sampling of upcoming releases and films currently in pro- duction, arranged roughly in order from potential masterpieces to po- tential dogs: Until the End of the World Wim Wenders (Wings of Desire) could win the title of Greatest Liv- ing Filmmaker if his latest road film, starring William Hurt, is as good as it looks. Dracula Gary Oldman as Drac- ula, with Winona Ryder and An- thony Hopkins as a supporting cast. Let's just hope director Francis Coppola doesn't screw it up. The Naked Lunch David Cro- nenberg's adaptation of Burroughs' unfilmable novel has received ex- cellent reviews. Slacker Richard Linklater's ul- tra-low budget film about folks like you who do nothing will be a sure A2 favorite. Shadows & Fog We hope Woody Allen's latest will rescue him from his Alice slump. With a cast of John Malkovich, Jodie Fos- ter and Madonna, he could be on to something. The Age of Innocence Produc- tion began recently on Martin Scorsese's next New York film - this one an adaptation of Edith Wharton' s turn -of-the-century novel. Daniel Day-Lewis stars. The Player Robert Altman's black comedy, about a Hollywood studio head who kills a writer, fea- tures a cast of a thousand stars. White Men Can't Jump Ron Shelton (Bull Durham) directs a hi- lariously-titled basketball film. Last of the Mohicans Daniel Day-Lewis stars in an adaptation of the J.F. Cooper novel. Yeah, the photo looks goofy, but director Michael Mann (Manhunter) is a master. Night on Earth Jim Jarmusch's latest collection of stories stars Winona Ryder as an LA cabbie. Malcom X Spike Lee's latest is sure to break from his controversial image. Fire Walk With Me The Twin Peaks movie is actually a prequel that ends with Laura Palmer's mur- der. Starring the normal cast along with Harry Dean Stanton, directed by Lynch himself. Rhapsody in August Akira Kurosawa directs Richard Gere? The Double Life of Veronique Irene Jacob won best actress at Cannes for her portrayal of two women with a shared knowledge of each other. La Belle Noiseuse Four hours long. French. Could be brilliant. Kafka Steven Soderbergh (sex, lies and videotape) returns with Jeremy Irons as Franz himself. Prententious? Charlie Robert Downey Jr. as Chaplin? It sounds almost as bad as Kevin Costner as Robin Hood, but' who knows... Batman Returns Ugh, we hate sequels, but this one does have Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman and good old Tim Burton at the helm. Universal Soldier Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren team up to double your action-film pleasure. Then again, two times zero is still zero. Robocop 3/Lethal Weapon 3/Alien 3 Trilogies are nice, but come on now ... even Alien might be doomed without James Cameron at the helm. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York Not. .4 Films of '91 in review: The best ... and da rest The Daily Film Staff picks their favorites (in ABC order): Black Robe Director Bruce Beresford (Driving Miss Daisy) proves himself a master with this film that was everything Dances With Wolves wasn't: honest, uncompromising and bitterly real. Boyz N the Hood Despite its predictability and preachiness, 22-year-old John Singleton's debut was impressive for showing a human side of gang- ridden LA, demonized all too often in films such as Colors. Cape Fear Disappointing Martin Scorsese is still better than most directors' best. Fun thriller, with another brilliant psycho from Bobby DeNiro. Frankie & Johnny Who would've thunk it? Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman) creates a wonderful romantic comedy, a Hollywood classic in the tradition of It Happened One Night. And nobody saw it. My Own Private Idaho Gus Van Sant made the coolest film of the year: Keanu, River, Flea, Shakespeare, narcolepsy, filth, degradation, and the Pogues over the closing credits. Paris is Burning Jennie Livingston's eye-opening documentary about drag balls and voguing exposed a fascinating subculture, and was perhaps the best independent film of the eye. The Silence of the Lambs Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lecter was so effective that the character has become a part of our culture, in the tradition of Norman Bates. A great film? Terminator 2: Judgment Day The only film we all agreed upon. Arnie as a good terminator sounded like a bad idea, but that wasn't taking into account the massive potential of lines like, "I swear I will not kill anyone." Thelma and Louise The most absurd controversy over a movie had to be surrounding this one. Male bashing? Where were all of these closet pacifists when, say, Arnie shot his wife in the head in Total Recall and said, "Considah dis a divoss"? Honorable mentions go out to Beauty and the Beast, The. Commitments, Dead Again, The STUDENTS: "If your hair isn't becoming to you you should be coming to us." 7 Stylists--No waiting2 DASCOLA STYLISTS opposite Jacobson's 668-9329 Fisher King, JFK, La Femme Nikita, The Prince of Tides, Rambling Rose and The Rapture. And now, the awards: Best Sex Scene Featuring a Minor (and Handjob of the Year): Laura Dern and Lukas Haas (remember the cute little Amish boy in Witness?) in Rambling Rose - "Don't you know that curiosity killed the cat?" "Yeah, but satisfaction brought him back." Worst Bruce Willis Film: (tie)Billy Bathgate and Hudson Hawk Best Bruce Willis Film: Mortal Thoughts (his character is killed within the first half-hour) Best Performance By An Animal: Jean-Claude Van Damme in Double Impact Best Rap Actor: Ice Cube in Boyz N the Hood Best Zen Surfer Guru: Patrick Swayze in Point Break Biggest Money Whore: Sean Connery in Highlander II: The Quickening Worst Attempt at a Ponytail: Woody Allen in Scenes From A Mall Best Eyebrows: Joe Pesci in JFK Best Slipping in a Pool of Blood: (tie) Cape Fear and The People Under the Stairs Most Entertaining Documentary About an Idiot: Truth or Dare Worst Line: "Go find your smile" from City Slickers Best Intolerable Art: Prospero's Books Lists compiled by Mark Binelli, Gabriel Feldberg, Aaron Hamburger, Mike Kuniavsky, Austin Ratner and Michael John Wilson. 0 ~You Can Now SleepA Easier In AnnArbor. if you have a need for overnight accommodations in Ann Arbor, you'll be glad to know that there's a Courtyard and a Fairfield Inn to take care of those needs. 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