1 4 + 0 - Page 8-The Michigan Daily- Wednesday, March 18,1992 Sean Connery doesn't ever play Scots by Chris Lepley European brain fever. It's the only explanation you can think of when you're sitting in a the- ater watching Medicine Man or one of a host of other major miscues by critically-acclaimed European, par- ticularly British, actors. Do the Hollywood higher-ups actually expect the public to pay money to see good actors in terrible films? Yes, but whether or not you subject yourself to Highlander II is your own business. If you're a fan of Sean Connery, the sexiest 61-year-old Scot in the film industry, then don't head down to the nearest Cineplex and choke on bad Medicine Man. Go to the video store and bask in the glow of Connery's stellar performances in some good movies. If you think it's mind-boggling that someone can win the Best Sup- porting Actor Oscar and then churn out crap like Highlander II (the best thing Connery could say about it was "it's highly entertaining, I think" - yeah, right), check out The Un- touchables. Connery's performance as Mal- lone was one among some incredible moments in that film. Directed by Brian DePalma, The Untouchables stars Kevin Costner as Elliot Ness, with Robert "Every character I play is an asshole" DeNiro as Al Capone. This tense and gritty film features explosive camerawork and non-stop action. Mallone, a grizzled Irish (does Connery ever play a Scots- man?) cop, takes Ness under his wing and teaches him how to "get Capone." If the gore in this slick gangster flick gets to be too much, just stare at someone's Armani-clad butt (I suggest Andy Garcia's) until the shooting stops. As far as intrigue is concerned, Connery can play any role, his most ---- - - - - - - -- - - e--- famous being the devil-may-care 007 in a myriad of James Bond films (the only good Bond films). From Connery's first appearance as Bond in Dr. No to his suave exit from the Bond series, Never Say Never Again he leaves all other Bonds, especially the latest incarna- tion, Mr. Timothy Dalton, in the proverbial dust. Connery has a lot more going for him than just a cleft chin, and Roger Moore always seems to think too much before his snappy comebacks. Connery's witty rejoinders just roll off of his tongue. "Do you expect me to talk?" Connery says as the laser slices closer and closer to his crotch in Goldfinger. "No, Mr. Bond, I ex- pect you to die," says the villain-of- the-day. No other actor can be so fearless despite deep-seated castra- tion anxiety. The Hunt for Red October (di- rected by John McTiernan) is fast- paced and, along with another Connery film, The Russia House, deserves a special place in history as one of the last Cold War dramas. Alec Baldwin stars as Jack Ryan (al- though in the upcoming sequel, Pa- triot Games, Ryan will be played by Harrison Ford. Politics, politics...) a submarine expert who has studied the career of Connery's character, Ramius, extensively. When Ramius, a Russian subma- rine commander, disappears with the Red October, a state-of-the-art stealth sub, all hell breaks loose. Connery gives a subdued perfor- mance, perfectly suited to the inner turmoil Ramius deals with. In the Russian military every emotion and any hint of treasonous thoughts had to be hidden, and every word Ramius utters bears the weight of his years in an oppressive society. Though the film is competent, it occasionally gets confusing, and it's sometimes hard to empathize with the thinly-drawn characters. Cou- ghing up some tears for a character who will "never get to see Montana" is tough. Connery carved out a chunk of the summer action movie market with Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Playing the father of In- diana Jones, Connery hems and haws and does a good imitation of a really smart guy (unlike Harrison Ford as Indiana, who runs around screaming "Dad!" like a whiny sit- com brat), even though he takes the role a bit too lightly. The Indiana Jones films are in- tended to be satire, and one of the first rules of satire is: Don't be too obvious. Connery tends to break this rule, especially during the frequent action scenes. The casting coup of the century is an early Connery film, The High- lander. Fans of schlocky, bargain- basement science fiction films adore this movie. Fans of any other kind of film might giggle at it. The biggest question (here's where the geniuses in the casting department come in): Why does an Englishman play a Scotsman while a real Scot, Con- nery, plays a Spaniard? The Name of the Rose tops the list of Connery films. Based on the Umberto Eco novel, Rose stars Connery as a medieval monk who is called in to solve a murder at a monastery. Along with his trusty side-kick Christian Slater (this film sports Slater's only gratuitous butt- shot to date), Connery wields a formidable intellect. So formidable that it gets him in trouble with both the ignorant medieval slobs and the Papal higher-ups (namely the Grand Inquisitor, played by F. Murray Abraham in a really sinister, slimy way). If you ignore the boy-meets- slutty-peasant-girl sub-plot you can pay more attention to Connery's wit and subtle charm. Rose has to be the most exciting monk movie ever made (although there are exciting missionary movies, and I hear nun movies are planning a comeback). Connery wins the cameo-of-the- year award for his two-minute tour- de-force as Richard the Lionheart in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. If you listen closely, he even lisps slightly. If those two minutes pique your interest, watch Connery's own favorite film, The Man Who Would Be King. Connery and his pal Michael Caine play con men who convince a primitive but rich developing nation to crown them as king and god, re- spectively. Connery and Caine can ham it up with the best of them, and it's nice to see these two actors make a good career decision for once. RECORDS Continued from page 5 glance into the spontaneous machi- nations of Grey's mind ... (shiver). However, the stellar personnel accompanying Grey deserve equal O billing. Jim Sauter's t. sax takes the forefront on two of the cuts, plowing aside all predisposed conceptions ot "nice music." Sauter's years in thet unabashedly free and dangerous in large doses Borbetomagus scream through on these tracks. Alan Licht joins Grey on "Ha- ming Angels" for a killer half- com- 7 posed, half-improvised capper, al- though his guitar style seems con-p servative and orderly in comparison to Grey's soul-destroyer approach. Yet the whole bundle of chaotic freeness would implode with out Rashid Ali's rhythmic rationality. This drummer's jelly belly has been interacting with extreme im- provisors since the birth of his girth with John Coltrane. Ali has als punched the clock with wowsers like Pharaoh Sanders, Paul Bley, Sun Ra and Albert Ayler. But who is Rudolph Grey? Frustrated indie rocker or liberated jazz head? Both Grey's career roughly began in the late '70s with the belligerent head-banger jazz of Red Transistor (1978 R.T. 7" is available on Thurston Moore's Ec- static Peace label). Grey's guitar style made the seemingly innovative * Moore blush at his own naivete. While Grey was slashing and bu- rning established musical territory with other New Yorkers like John Zorn, Moore and similar youngsters were still wetting their underroos. Grey's sound could be reasonably compared to the likes of Fred Frith or an angry Ren Lussier, and dia metrically opposed to the quiet re- serve of Derek Bailey. In sum, those of you who think Last Exit is too tame, Rudolph Grey's Mask of Light is for you. - Chris Wyrod ALAN Continued from page 5 seasoned wisdom here and there for good measure. Nevertheless, Gross is easily overshadowed by the delightful per- formance of his on-screen wife, Aquino. With her flashes of temper and gritty chutzpah, she simultane- ouslytmocksand substantiates the stereotype of the Jewish mother. Needless to say, whenever Alan invites Naomi downstairs, he urges his high-spirited mother to take it easy - and the results are hilarious. * Alan & Naomi stands on its own two feet as a touching testament to trust, friendship and the psycho logical casualties of war. Caine Connery gets to traipse around in all kinds of cool togas, and the film is good, too. If you think his Highlander-esque ponytail looks sexy, check out the virile, long-haired Connery in Time Bandits, where he plays a mythical king befriending a boy who's lost in time. Besides, Bandits was directed by Terry Gilliam, and his films are required viewing. Connery's film career has cer- tainly run the gamut from laughable to inspired. Like some other European actors who blithely follow Cyrano De Bergerac with Green- card, and Death Trap with Jaws IV, Connery has been in some stinkers. Separate the wheat from the chaff, and you'll find some of the most entertaining films made. Just don't get caught at home fast-for- warding through Medicine Man II:I Found The Cure For Male Pattern Baldness In the Rapidly Depleting Ozone Layer, But 1 Lost It! Sean Connery is even sexier as a communist. Here, the like-cheese-I-only-get-better-with-age movie star checks out the sea life with his nifty stealth submarine periscope. Sigh. He's dreamy. -. S6MQo ff ,c dude. wvz: e,,«, I vc .. rl bV4>/5 VA4J7.,"t -V ., ALAN & NAOMI is playing at the Ann Arbor 1 & 2. w M a 'I SV NAY . Spring clearance. Everyone j g :. 9 f i .. 1 x .d _ fir. '/. 7! '!: ' i ' 1 k ,. t x !f it ; . k .-.. r. " , s ;,,; :+ WER SE L a' TEquEEN HAS MHAD rrIT P TRDEE $10.00 GENERAL A DM i55 iON ,FODDRVE- 3RN A C AN Of F O OD1. EMC CRnEEB $1 FROM EACH TICUT COES TO THE WAE SCHOLARSHlP UND must go. oneway, based on round-trip purchase to London. Attention shoppers. During our incredible spring sale, you can see the best of Britain for the best of prices-just $224* one way, based on round-trip purchase to London. Simply purchase your ticket by March 31, for travel Monday thru Thursday commencing April 1 thru June 14,1992 and September 1 thru September 30,1992. And, if you're looking ahead to summer, you'll find plenty of bargain summer fares available also. Of course, you'll receive the complimentary headsets, free drinks, classic cuisine and exceptional service that British Airways is famous for. So call your travel agent or British Airways at 1-800-AIRWAYS today. But don't delay. After all, if you're shopping for bargains this spring, wouldn't you rather do it in London? *Fare does not include $18.00 agricultural, customs and immigration fees, and international departure tax. BRITISH AIRWAYS 1 1111 LA ItAN -FEATURING BRAND NUBIAN & PROSEmN.CONS i I I