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Comen and inion/MARCH 1992

2 ~ TWP MATIMIAl

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Spring Break adventures along -95

By ROBERT LAMOREAUX
T he Spetnm, SUNY, Buffalo
The plan was to meet Heywood, Keith and
Killer in Ft. Lauderdale, as I was unable 10
make the trip down with
them 110 the Wednesday
_ beforce Sprin~g Break
because I had a Friday
afternoo0n exam io my
Third Reich awaUeness
class. Forttunately, a fiend
(If Heywood's also was in
the same precariouns predicament, and
plannted on driving doswn Friday evenitng. I
atccepted the offer - Ceen thought Space, as
he wcas called, had to mtake a couple of stops
hefore ou final destitoation. I wtas ill need (If
sotne serious thterapy....
Space wVas to pick toe up at 7 p.mn., which
left mte only 45 minutes aftecrtty exam to
pack ms clothes, seqfuester my oteagec
svings of 5117, antI hreak up with my
girlfriendt befoce we left. But as I
apptrtatlcd Inygilfrienttt ~oteak thtetnewss,
she hcttke news (If hecrttwn. Shte infotrttetf
mte thtat thtece was a chtance shcetmighot he
pregnanot.
TheptecfIt o~1(f this situation fightetted
toe inonensely, so I paused momnttarily attt
dfecidetd that I really needed Ihis vacation.
Fifteen mtintutes latec I was on the roatd,sith
all (Iftoy mtoney flack home julst in case.
Space tuctoed ot to1( be a rather cottgetnial
feon5( - that is tith the exception of t few
quirks. F'Iooe, his entice bead tsas shtaved,
except Ifor a Rotoan style ciru~tlar wreath (If
hair thtat mrapped the tircumfeence f fis
heatd - noIt unlike otoenatfe of otlive
bcatoches thatjttlius Ceseacrtoight htave wortn.
Blut tftis ceally didn't bothtecrtte as mttch
as Space's tther distinguishittg feature: I'm
nttt sture if he w6as evec clitnicallv exantined,
lut fte afpfear ed to be sttnewthat
narcoleptic.
Itt othetr words, he wsas cttnttnually falling
ino sltttbec while driving, leavintg me to
ntavigate the vehicle frotm the shotgun
plosition. Aftecrit fesw httucs(If this I thottght
it swotuld perhaps he bettec if I did tlte

.UND
S"U'N -NOW V ISPRING BRE


x ;


driving froto then ttt.
Ottc ficst destination was Newc Yotk, twhece
SpaIc(Gas to pick u a fiettt,.Jotnah.
Reaching this locatiott, it scas evitdent thtat
Space and Jonah ssanted to spend tlhe
eacliest htttts ttf Satucday drinking in a lotttl
pub. This wsas fitte with nte, hul thoughot it
wttuld foe best that I visit t ftiettd who lived a
lets httttts awav on Manhtattan's fowter eatst
side. Needless to say, Anita was a little
stuprised tos receive me at 3 at.
I cattght a lot of sleep at Anita's Indthlett
spent the cest ttf the aftetrnoon httcts in
Washoitogto Squtare swith a cup begging foc
change. B) eaclv evening I tt~ too y five
dollacs in nickels attt ditoes atod bttughtt wot
slices of Ray's wocltd famous pizza. Things
wsece goittgssell.
Befoce I knews it, we were 0on theloetad
again. Our next stttp was Smyrnsa, NC. We
stopoped at Spoace's parents' htttse, had a
gttod meal, attd were anxiouts to get oto our
May. It wtas now Sunday nighot and we
thottght we cottld ntake Focida by Tuesday
if we dcove Ioun-stop.
Buttjust as we were about to leave, Space's

parents suggested that swe pay a visit1(tote
in-laws in New Ocleatos. Since I was penniless
antIntot the otsner of ttur vehicle, I wtas
grudgingly ttbliged to embark tn this oll-
rttacl pilgritmage. My sanity would bave been
ttttally lttst had it tout been for Jttnah's
generosity with beer. Louisiana wtas a blttr. I
remetoober a brief visit tith Spate's relatises
(half ttf whom seetmetd to lot amputees), and
a lot of talk abtut gator hunting.
Of cottrse, ste never did make it tt Ft.
Lauderdale, as Space enjtyed his relatives'
conmpany stt nuch he decided 1to spetod the
rest of the week thtere.
Bttt it's just as tsell, thtottght.Hevtcood tttld
toe later thoat thoe first nightt in towcn, Killer
stttle a fire extinguisher from theit hottel and
drove atound sprayintg other cats totte
highway. Apparently someone got upset,
chased him into a dead end and brttke his
nose swith a tire iron. They spent the test ttf
their vacatioto paying fines and doctor bills.
As for me, I artived back in Buffaltt to my
gilfriend's toost-welcome menstrual cycle,
and spetot thoe rest of the setoester inebriated
on $117 worth of beer.

U. IEW 1-00-62.. 1
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