The Michigan Daily/New Student Edition -Thursday, September 5, 1991 - Page 3 The Stuff Legends Are ade Of Whether it's puma statues or Hash Bash, Michigan has a culture entirely its own by Melissa Peerless Daily Staff Reporter Every year on April Fools' Day, a cloud hangs over tJe Diag. It doesn't bring downpours or light showers. It doesn't cast shadows of gloom over students or put them in foul moods ... but it may cause a contact buzz. It's not a meteorological condition. It's Hash Bash. But all those students who feel oh-so-groovy after smoking Mother nature have to make sure that they don't wig out completely. Because if they are on the .Diag, and completely out of control, there is imminent danger that they could step on the 'M'. And we W wouldn't want all those fun-loving students to fail their next blue book exams, would we? After side-stepping the 'M' as they frolic on the .piag, these students go home and chill out while lis- tening to the Dead. If they live on the Hill, their long, strange trip takes them past the Natural Science Mu- seum, where the pumas greet them with a hearty roar if ithey are, in fact, virgins. If, however, they travel down State Street on their journey, Shakey Jake will serenade ,them regardless of their sexual history. Az orientees, and new members of the University community, you are probably a bit confused. Just as &strong academics, victorious football teams, and lib- eral politics scream "University of Michigan," so do Hash Bash, the Diag 'M', and the Nat Sci pumas. Hash Bash On April 1, 1971, the National Organization for the 'OReform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) sponsored the first annual Hash Bash on the Diag. The first effort was a sterling success, and the tradi- tion has continued. The Hash Bash celebration consists of speeches, cheers, circulation of pro-legalization peti- -tions and, to the dismay of many Hash Bashers, police. Detective Douglas Barbour of the Ann Arbor police ;department said, "Regardless of political messages, it ,is against the law to smoke marijuana. We cannot ig- .nore the existing laws to avoid disturbing the celebra- Some University students anticipate this "celebration" all year. LSA senior Peter Ross said, "Hash Bash is basically the biggest party of the year. It's probably one of the The Diag M' Upon graduating, the class of 1953 presented }the University with a brass block 'M' to be placed inthe center of the Diag. It was put in place that summer, and supposedly beginning the next fall, it became the ob- ject of student superstition. . "If you step on the 'M', you will fail your ngxt blue book exam," said Stefanie Polsky, an LSA sopho more. "Of course, I don't believe in that kind of stupid stuff, so I just step on it anyway." However, there are many students who will go to any cost to avoid stepping on the dreaded 'M'. Michael McAlear, a recent graduate, said, "I'd never step on it. One time, one of my friends was on crutches and I was helping him carry his books. I actually walked around the 'M', and he almost fell because he was leaning on me. I've never failed a blue bodk, though." According to some, stepping on the 'M' is an unfor- givable sin, but others say that an antidote is to run from the Diag at the stroke of midnight and kiss... The Nat Sci Pumas Located at either side of the entrance to the Natural Science (Nat Sci) Museum are two ferocious-looking stone pumas. In addition to being an anti-'M' force, legend has it that if a virgin walks by, the pumas will roar. The pumas seem to have been silent as long as any- one can remember. LSA senior David Cohen said, "I lived in Markly (a dorm on the Hill area of campus) for two years, sq'I walked by the pumas millions of times at all different times of day. I never even heard a peep." A janitor at the Nat Sci museum said, "I hae worked here for 17 years. I've not heard a roar, butI have to wonder if it's because there are not any virgins around, or if it's just because statues can't talk." Nowhere does it say, "Don't Tread on Men," but that doesn't seem to matter to most University students, who avoid stepping on this shrine during their daily jaunts through campus out of fear of failing their next blue book exam. You would think that people who are slaves to such silly superstitions would not go to many classes anyway in order to avoid walking under a ladder or having a black cat cross their path. best things about U of M. My friends and I really look forward to it." However, NORML and other Hash Bash organizers frown upon the image of Hash Bash as a party. Head of the Ann Arbor NORML Chapter Thom Harris said, "This year, we changed the name to the Hemp Rally. We wanted it to be clear that we are mak- ing a political statement, not just hanging out and par- tying." The implications of this change on the future of Hash Bash are still unclear, but it is certain that Hash Bash is here to stay. Other Rituals -S I. p. i4. Daily definitions give you the inside story 'by Jonathon Chait and Tami Pollak Daily Staff Reporters s ARB: noun; slang for Nichol's Arbore- tum. Voted the best place to go all the Wway in last year's Daily Best of Poll, (Laughin' and a-runnin', hey hey, skip- ,,pin' and a jumpin'...) this untapped cor- nucopia of natural delights with en- *trances off Geddes and by Markley A.proves a mecca for lovers, joggers, and "trippers alike, verb: arbing, adjective: ar- bacious BOOKS: noun; the one expenditure ;.your parents won't questions. No more teachers, no more books, just TA's and really expensive texts. While the So- ;'viet style lines outside the three book tcartels may convince you that Ann Ar- :bor has finally given in to commie ,pinko activists, never fear - once the ,-semester is over, you can try to sell ,back your books for just a fraction of ;:their original cost. CUBE: noun; modern, balance-defying :sculpture in front of the giant bidet in Re- -gent's Plaza astride the Union. First the area high school skate punks seized the u. asphalt strip surrounding the estranged geometric prop, then came the white male hegemonic administrators from the near-by Fleming Building toting lunches of Wonderbread and ham. And then came a band of strange, cult-like relaxationists. This gaggle of semi- meditative new agers engage bi-weekly in dinnertime Karate Kid-meets-lamaze exercises. Led by a bald, spiritually garbed guru, it is unknown if passers-by are free to join in the soul aerobics. verb: cubing or gleaming the cube, adjective: cu- bist DIAG: noun: hub of campus activity. On a warm day in September you are likely to find the Diag hackey-sackers, frat-backers, establishment attackers, and right wing lunatic Preacher Mike (last name unknown) in the middle of it all condemning a majority of the world population to eternal damnation. And walkers beware - the Diag along with the nearby Fishbowl (lobby of Mason hall facing Diag) form the So- licitation Capitol of the World, with charity buckets representing groups ranging from the Ronald McDonald House to the Hash Bash Hemp-for-Fu- elers to the Leninist Stalinist Trotsky- ists United to Preserve the Berlin Wall. verb: to diag, adjective: diagnostic. EIGHT O'CLOCKS: noun: earliest classes offered; designed to weed-out the all- nighters, anyone with roommates, and non- masochists. Trust us: do not ever take one of these, no matter what. Even if it means having to change majors. Even if it means not graduating and looking for a job but not finding one because of the recession and so your parents kick you out of the house and you sleep in card- board boxes and subsist on stale wel- fare cheese, which is probably almost as bad as dorm food - IT'S STILL BET- TER THAN HAVING AN EIGHT O'CLOCK. FAKE I.D.: noun; undergrads' key to escaping the hide-from-the-R.A./ step-over- frat-party-puke game. Not applicable at Rick's American Cafe, rumored to have a contract with the feds to smash the International fake I.D. underground. Be prepared for thorough interrogation, not just name and address, but year of high school graduation, zodiac sign, so- cial security number, forty-yard-dash time, S.A.T. score... GREEK SYSTEM: noun; frater- nity/sorority members; Derived from the Ancient Greek practice of forming city- states. The ancient city-states became exclusive organizations, and each year would admit a select few new "pledges" who were forced to undergo certain initiation rites, such as having to sack Troy or consume massive amounts of hemlock. (Pledge survival rates climbed steadily after the invention of beer.) These practices evolved into modern Greek traditions of attending barn dances and printing T-shirts to commemorate every conceivable event, including successful use of Q-tips. HELL: noun; 1) where Preacher Mike condemns all Diagnostics to go. (see DIAG) 2) University system of class registra- tion, known affectionately as CRISP. Be prepared to enter the sweltering Angell Hall cellar office intending to major in Poli. Sci., and emerge from the assembly line concentrating in What- See DICTIONARY, Page 5 Two other campus rituals involve the Greek systei. On the corner of Washtenaw and Hill is a giant rock which receives a new coat of paint several times a ws. Alex Cherin, a member of FIJI fraternity and pn LSA senior, said, "Our pledge classes have to paint ta few times during their pledge term. We paint it sonle- times just for fun, too. If you paint it before abouti6 a.m., it gets painted over before the morning so ydu have to do it late, or early, whichever." Jen Schnittger, a member of Chi Omega sorority, said, "The Rock is about the size of a small car, but it's almost all paint. If you put turpentine on it, the thiug would probably be the size of a basketball." Sigma Alpha Epsilon, located at the corner -f Washtenaw and South University, hosts a Michiggn tradition all its own. On the morning of the homecotV- ing football game, EAE plays football against tIi Delta Theta in a giant mudpit in the front yard of EA. Kyle Rackewicz, an Engineering sophomore ad member of XAE, said, "It's very fun to have mudbowvl. It's especially awesome because we always beat PIii Delts in the game. It makes XAE cool." While no one story could ever describe all tie unique aspects and idiosyncrasies of the Universiy, hopefully you could understand the beginning of this article if you read it again now. Maybe you even learned so much that in the fall someone will come up to you and, impressed with your knowledge of these rituals, feel compelled to say, "You can't possibly be a first- year student. I thought you were older." 1. CLASSIFIED ADS REALLY WORK Give 'em a try '4 REAING & CE N T E R &i. I.. ARE YOU WORKING HARD BUT FEELING OVERWHELMED? DO EXAMS FRIGHTEN YOU? IS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT SHOULD BE? DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE A LEARNING DISORDER OR DISABILITY? ANN ARBOR CYCLERY SINCE 1968 " MOUNTAIN " RACING - TOURING Our services include: - In-patient care " Out-patient care - Family and group therapy " A day hospital program jointly run by the University of Michigan Medical Center and Chelsea Community Hospital " A comprehensive approach to the , .. 4 .4 r'f ti :r r r -- 2_. ._ _ . -- 1., . .,.. t . T.. . ... - C IA' i rmu I