The Michigan Daily-Tuesday, December 11, 1990- Page 9,,

Wig does colorful

drugs, among other things

by Kim Yaged
"Women are all dykes."
--Preston Cleveland, Wig
vocalist
"Condoms make safe sex dull sex."
-Rob Schurgin*, Wig guitarist
"Right on!"
-"Sweet" Francis Falls,.Wig
bassist

Wig seems to be a band based on
controversial slogans. But, Schurgin
says, "Any press is good press."
Perhaps that's why Cleveland felt
secure in telling me that Tom Petty,
who is "one of the beautiful people,"
writes their music for them and that
he used to play in Supertramp.
Wig's drummer, John Burke,
W F, efers: ;s as "the articulate
one," is apparently the band's com-
poser, but Cleveland maintains that

he's the choreographer. All three of
the band members present during a
recent interview felt obligated to
mourn Burke's absence at the round-
table which took place at what
Cleveland calls "Poseur Palace." (I'll
leave it up to you to figure out to
which of the plethora of cafes on
State Street he was referring.)
Schurgin described to me one of
his career-altering "trips" in which
Jimi Hendrix walked off of a poster
and showed him how to play. The
result was the lead guitar line on
"Coming Up Slow," the first track
on Wig's only album, Lying Next
To You. This story prompted Schur-
gin to make the following analogy:
"Wig is to Hendrix as the '90s are to
the late '60s." Schurgin said he
bases a large portion of the varia-
tions between the decades on the
drugs used in each era, citing these
drugs as the source of the differences
in sound between Wig's music and
Hendrix's. "Hendrix was into pot.
I'm more into the designer drugs,"
he explains.
Schurgin said hallucinogens are
his drug of choice; that's why if he
could change places with anyone in
the world it would be with James
Brown because, as he said, "I just
want to do a lot of PCP."
Besides doing drugs, band mem-
bers agreed that getting a gig at

Rick's American Cafe is one of their
primary goals, but Schurgin said he
would also like to attain the feeling
of "acupuncture on tour." Cleveland
doesn't want to stop there. He said
his ideal would be to "become as
famous as Jack the Ripper, in the
same vein too, so to speak. We want
to be compared to Jack the Ripper."
When not dreaming of rape and
murder, the band members listen to
music. Schurgin said "Emma" by
Hot Chocolate is his favorite song.
Cleveland's is "Super Stupid,"
which both he and Schurgin agree is
the best song Big Chief ever wrote.
Maybe nobody told them it's a
Funkadelic cover.
During the interview, Cleveland
also took the opportunity to an-
nounce that "(Falls') best hair isn't
on his head" and "I guess everybody
knows by know that we didn't actu-
ally sing on our record... we're not
embarrassed by it." This may not be
the absolute truth, though, because
Preston also said that the alleged
members of Milli Vanilli are the last
people with whom he would like to
change places.
Falls chose Cleveland as the per-
son with whom he would both most
and least like to trade places. He
gave no explanation for why Cleve-
land would be the last person he
would like to trade places with but

cited the rumor of Cleveland's large
penis size as the reason why he
would most like to fill the vocalists,
umm, shoes.
About the rumors that the band is
breaking up, Cleveland said, "It's
just those jealous fuckers, man, try-
ing to start rumors." "That rumor's
been flying around for years,"
Schurgin added. However, the band
has only existed for approximately
one year.
And an enlightened year at that.
"We don't like women," Schurgin
and Cleveland said. But they later se-
lected Larissa Strickland of The
Laughing Hyenas and Chrissie
Hynde of The Pretenders as a couple
of "the good ones."
The drug war was another hot
topic and Schurgin asserted his hope
for the battle's outcome: "I hope we
win," defining "we" as "the people
who do hallucinogens." Although
Falls said Cleveland is into "sex for
money," the big man himself said
he's into neuroleptics. Falls said he
prefers steroids.
If they were to sign a million
dollar deal today, and not spend it all
on mind-altering substances, Schur-
gin said he would "invest in tie-dye."
Cleveland would "make a minor
addition to his arsenal at home," and
Falls would "get more hair products
and maybe some extensions."

If this wealth were to be ob-
tained, perhaps the guys would
lighten up about sharing things. For
now, however, Schurgin would
"rather you borrow my girlfriend
than my delay pedal. You can replace
a girlfriend."
But back to the music: about
their live show, Schurgin said, "It
totally smokes pot."
Anal Sex is the name of the
band's next album, the guys said. It
is finished except for the guitar parts
which will be completed upon
Schurgin's next visit from Mr. Hen-
drix.
"A woman's not a woman 'til she's
had a baby."
-Preston Cleveland
"You gotta have a key; the key is
psycho-active drugs."
-Rob Schurgin
"It was violent yet nonchalant."
-Francis Falls, on a Wig gig
*Rob Schurgin was played by Kevin
Strickland of the Laughing Hyenas.
Apparently, Strickland thinks that he
is Schurgin, or perhaps he was too
drugged up to tell the difference.
WIG open for the LAUGHING
HYENAS. Dec. 22 at St. Andrew's
Hall in Detroit. Maybe then you can
figure out if Kevin is Rob or Rob is
Kevin or if they're both played by
Barry Henssler.

a

Is this Kevin Strickland on the left, or isn't it? We're not sure but neither
is he. Wig was unable to provide a picture of their band, probably
because they are still trying to figure out who Rob is. Or, could it be that
Rob is merely a hallucination that walked off one of Kevin's album covers
one day when he was tripping?

AUDITIONS
FOR THE FESTIVAL CHORUS
Thomas Hilbish, Interim Conductor
The Festival Chorus will perform Prokofiev's "Alexander Nevsky"
with conductor Kurt Masur and the Leipzig Gewandhaus
Orchestra during the 98th annual May Festival
on Friday, May 3, 1991.


A

WHAT'S
HAPPENING

RECREATIONAL SPORTS

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