0 0 Do's Gon hr osMo? Here's a look at what happened to the predecessor of some of the greatest co the history of college football. SCHOOL. YRS. LEGEND RECORD YRS. NEXT Notre Dame 18-30 Knute Rockne 105-12-5 31-33 Hunk Anderson 41-43 Frank Leahy 24-3-3 44 Ed McKeever 46-53 63-8-6 54-58 Terry Brennan 64-74 Ara Parseghian 95-17-4 75-80 Dan Devine Michigan State 47-53 Biggin Munn 54-9-2 54-72 D. Daugherty 54-72 Duffy Daugherty 109-69-5 73-75 Denny Stolz Ohio State 51-78 Woody Hayes 205-61-10 79-87 Earle Bruce Michigan 01-23 Fielding Yost 151-27-10 24 George Little 25-26 14-2-0 27-28 Ted Wieman 37-47 Fritz Crisler 71-16-3 48-58 B. Oosterbaan 69-90 Bo Schembechler 194-48-5 90-? Gary Moeller Tough Act To Follow aches in Moeller's predecessor, Bo Schembechler, finished fifth 1-A Coaching Leaders. RECD. NAME SCHOOLS 16-9-2 1. Paul "Bear" Bryant Alabama 8-2-0 2. Amos A. Stagg Chicago 32-18-0 3. "Pop" Warner Carlisle/Pitt/Stanford 53-16-1 4. Woody Hayes Ohio State 109-69-5 5. Bo Schembechler Miami (OH)/Michigan 19-13-1 6. Joe Paterno Penn State 81-26- 7. Jess Neely Rice 6-2-0 8. Warren Woodson New Mex St./Hardin 9-6-1 9. Eddie Anderson Holy Cross/Iowa 63-33-4 9. Vince Dooley Georgia TBA --Ij II-11w, Mackovic Perles Cooper No Jay Leno but... Big Ten coaches try their best to liven up their acts with bits of humor by Mike Gill' Daily Football Writer What's in a joke? Well, Big Ten football coaches often used jokes as springboards{ for assessing their teams. Some coaches slotted the jokes neatly into their assessments, but others seemed to be fishing for anything to lighten the mood. Michigan coach Gary Moeller tends to stick to business - no bundle of laughs here. When coaches addressed the media in July at the Chicago Mariott, they polished their stand-up routines. Here is some of the best of the worst. *Ohio State's John Cooper told about the morning he got up early to go golfing and stopped in at a little dive for breakfast. After insisting this was a true story, Cooper delved into the details. Reading the morning paper over his breakfast, he spotted an article which said that the university president was searching for a new house. The article said that the expense would fall to the taxpayers. As he sat at the table drinking his coffee, another man sat down next to him. Cooper asked him if he saw the article about the president's house. The man, replied yes, and then said (obviously not knowing who he was sitting next to), "Hell, wait till football sep-son's over and he can have the football coach's house." *Minnesota's John Gutekunst on passing the ball more since All- Big Ten running back Darrell Thompson has moved to the NFL: "I may be going more to the drug store more than the air without Darrell Thompson." "Gutekunst, on what to call the Big Ten conference now that Penn State has been admitted: "Why don't we call it the Big Mistake?" "Gutekunst (again) on his team not having a lot of stars: "We're going to hire Ed McMahon and have a Star Search." *Michigan State coach George Perles on his troublesome off- season when he fought for the job of athletic director and leaned toward a job with the New York Jets. "I used to think the off- season was great and the only bad part of this job was 11 Saturdays. Now I know it's the off-season when you really get beat up." *Perles also had the most memorable quote of the luncheon. After explaining how he sets goals, and how this is America where you are free to choose whatever job you like, Perles remembered something he had once told his wife (supposedly about setting goals and reaching high): "I said to my wife a long time ago, 'Hang on honey, we're going to go for the moon."' *Illinois coach John Mackovic responding to the laughs Perles received: "George, you didn't say anything inappropriate. It's their' minds." "Mackovic also had some good off-color humor. Somehow, Mackovic related the following incident to how you can't build up your team too much to the press nor talk it down too much. He told of a man who went golfing and told his wife he soon would be home. But after shooting 18 holes, he and his buddies stopped for a few beers. A few too many later, a young girl seduced him and he went home with her. Afterward, he felt very guilty about what had transpired. When he arrived home, four hours later than expected, he decided to tell his wife the truth. "You no-good lying snake - you played 36 holes, didn't you," the women asked. "Sometimes when you tell the truth, it just doesn't come out right," was Mackovic's moral to the story. Corollary of the fable? Coaches never are honest when talking about their teams. *Mackovic on Jeff George leaving Illinois a year early to turn pro, and eventually signing a $15 million contract with the Indianapolis Colts: "Someone asked me if I thought he made the right choice and before I had a chance to answer, someone turned and said, 'Hell, for $15 million, I'd leave grade school."' *Purdue coach Fred Akers, where George once played, on his contract. "John (Mackovic) did a great job with Jeff, but if he'd had stayed at Purdue, he'd make some real money." UNN . 1321 South University DAILY SPECIALS IN OUR RAV II am-clo SUNDAY: PITCHER SPECIAL Budweiser .............. MONDAY: MONDAY NIGHT F Long Island Iced Tea Labatt Pitcher............ TUESDAY: TWO FOR TUESDAI (Bud Lite or Miller Li WEDNESDAY: OLD CHICAGO NIC Individual Chicago Fa Old Style Bottles....... THURSDAY: SHOT AND A BEER Shots... ....... Shot and Lite Beer ... FRIDAY: DOMESTIC SPECIA Pitchers ........ Bottles......... SATURDAY: MEXICAN NIGHT Bottles of Dos Equis & Margaritas............. DININGH 1 Mon-Thurs: 11-a.m.-11:30 p.m."Fri-Sat: 11 amn BFORNTHE SRii BODY rr aR {n r "C.n:,; , V at KA.t-- r i nie D1aJIK i I14 Speciaizes In You. Member FDIC Equal Opportunity Lender All other terms and conditions apply BANK Gutekunst liutekunSi 6 WEEKEND September14, 1990