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September 06, 1990 - Image 64

Resource type:
The Michigan Daily, 1990-09-06

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Page 6-The Michigan Daily/New Student Edition - Thursday, September 6, 1990

Everything you never knew you
wanted to know about the 'U'

by Kristin Palm and
Ian Hoffman
IVaily Staff Writers
A2: A squared, or Ann Arbor for
you purists. This abbreviation was
-invented for people to use on their
"return address so they could be polite
ind anonymous at the same time.
AHAUDA: Angell Hall Audito-
rium A. What distinguishes this
AHAUDD we've never been able to
discern. Actually, some of them
have long desks, and some of them
have those fold up kind of desks that
are so small as to make test taking
APO: Alpha Phi Omega. Are
they Greek, or are they not Greek?
It's a debate that rages not too often
and not too loudly. Actually, many
members put a lot of time into this
co-ed service fraternity and it pays
off. Every year they collect more
blood than our rival to the south in
the annual UM-OSU Blood Drive.
BGS: Bachelor of General Stud-
lies. More nebulous than generic
-beer. What in the world can you
hope to achieve with a BGS - well
!anything really, but the chances are
really slim you'll get a job where
'you don't have to wear a name-tag.
Better to plug through those chem
Blue Book: A book for taking a
test in. Your professor is about to
torture you for one to two hours
'with a writing test that will most

likely transform your hand into a de-
formed knot of joints rendering it
inoperable for more than a month,
and the University can't even spare a
quarter for the paper. Look for
Richardson's two free blue books of-
fer in the coupon books at the be-
ginning of each term.
CCRB: Central Campus Recre-
ation Building. It's the biggest of
the places to work out, but not nec-
essarily the best. Some people come
merely to hang out and be seen.
Kind of like the UGLI.
CIC: Campus Information Cen-
ter. Your surrogate parents. They can
tell you what to do and where, when
and how to do it. Not to mention
Marilyn Monroe's height and the
price of a new Rolls Royce. Just
don't ask them for phone numbers.
CP&P: Career Planning and
Placement. Where to go when you
want to assure yourself that a bache-
lor's degree means nothing in this
CRISP: College RIte of Screw-
ing People. Even if you CRISP at 8
a.m. on the very first day, which
probably will never happen, you
won't get all the classes you want.
Trust us.
E C B: English Composition
Board. Offers classes for those who
don't pass the introductory writing
test. No truth to the rumor that
Arthur Miller took these courses.
IFC: Intra-Fraternity Council.

These are the guys who run the fra-
ternity part of the larger Greek sys-
tem on campus. Most of them look
like the leader of the Alpha Betas
from Revenge of the Nerds.
IM: The Intramural building. As
you are destined to discover before
your career at Michigan is over, this
was the first building in the country
to be devoted solely to intramural
athletics. A distinction worth re-
membering, but not a conversation
Inteflex: Six years of never see-
ing the inside of a bar with the end
result being mega-bucks. Hey, that's
what we're here for!
ISR: Institute for Social Re-
search. Hey, being a test subject
may not sound like much fun at
first, but that $5/hr. starts to look
really good after a week of Pop-Tarts
for every meal.
Lab: Hell. Mercifully it has an
expiration date that matures after one
Lectures: University sanctioned
nap time.
Mealcard: Don't leave home
without it. For that matter don't stay
at home without it. Not only does
this handy piece of plastic get you
into any campus cafeteria and your
residence hall computing center, but
you can try to pass if off as an "of
age" ID when you go home.
The Mean: The mean grade at
Michigan and the mean global tem-
perature seem to have a lot in com-
mon, i.e. they are both rising... fast.
The average g.p.a. for a senior is a
3.00 (on a scale that only goes to
4.00 mind you). Whatever happened
to senioritis?
MIRLYN: Remember all those
"Introduction to the Library" lessons
in second grade where you learned
about the card catalog? Forget them.
Nowadays, all you have to do is type
a name into the computer and the in-
formation will be at your fingertips.
Until the system crashes, that is.
MLB: Modern Language Build-
ing. If the UGLI ever burns, the
MLB should be next in line for the
title. Be sure to check out the two
huge satellite dishes, on top of the
building, used to monitor the mili-
tary progress of the Soviets.
MSA: Michigan Students Argu-
ing, or so it seems. The only thing


Completing labs, like these, is what prevents students from ending up withI
degrees also increase potential lifetime earnings.

° .... ... ...... .. ..A

these guys and gals do is allocate
money to student groups. The liber-
als gained control of the assembly
last spring after a year of conserva-
tive domination. So?
MTS: Michigan Terminal Sys-
tem. A way to say mean things to
people without actually confronting
them. Everybody does it over the
computer these days.
MUG: How do you spell relief?
This ain't it. True, they sell some
food without grease and they've also
made a stab at ethnicity.
But those people at Dagwood's
should learn that there's no "y" in
NCRB: North Campus Recre-
ation Building. It has an swimming
pool with an outdoor deck, but un-
less you stay for summer it does you
little good.
Office Hours: The time of day
when you are unequivocally unavail-
able and your professor isn't.
Override: The slip of paper that
allows you to register for a class
even though it's full. Easy to obtain
for a class such as Super Hard
Weeder Micro Nuclear Physics 499,
but somewhat harder to secure for
Psychology 101.
PIRGIM: One of the last bas-
tions of '60s activism in Ann Arbor,
three years ago the student body
voted not to fund this environmen-
tally conscious group. Makes you
Professor: A white male whose

annual salary is upwards of $50,000.
RA/RF: Resident Advisor/Resi-
dent Fellow. The people charged
with keeping order on your hall.
Treat them right and they'll let you
borrow the lounge furniture from
time to time.
Reading List: They're long,
they're boring, and by the time
you're a senior you won't feel bad
about not finishing them.
Regents: Sneezy, Sleepy,
Grouchy, Doc, Happy, Dopey, Bash-
ful and Roach.
ROTC: Legalized discrimination.
They're looking for a few good men,
and you know what that means.
SAB: Student Activities Build-
ing. Not too many students like to
get active here as the building's deals
mainly in financial aid problems,
housing problems, and finding-me-a-
job-now-that-the-party-is-over prob-
SAPAC: Sexual Assault and Pre-
vention and Awareness Center. Can
make the machoest of men feel un-
SEB: School of Education Build-
ing. Used to be the Ann Arbor High
School, just as the Frieze Building
used to be Pioneer High. Enjoy the
courtyard outside the SEB, because it
won't be there when you graduate.
Interestingly enough, Eastern Mich-
igan's School of Education is con-
sidered better than ours.
SOAS: Student Office of some-
thing or other. They handle the

BGS degrees. Natural science
checks for all student organizations.
SODC: The Student Organization
and Development Center. This pur-
pose of this organization, like all of
those in the college student person-
nel field, is a little vague. If yog
start a new group, a support fund for
overcharged out-of-state students,
perhaps, they can help secure fund-
ing for you.
TA: Teaching Assistant. He or
she is the one that actually corrects
your papers and assigns your grades.
U-Club: Like to Dance? The U-
Club might be for you. Looking for
a bar with heavy wooden chairs*
Getting closer. Ready to laugh your
head off? Then check out the Club's
Laughtracks show that was so popu-
lar it was moved to every Wednesday
UAC: On-campus terrorist group
who, just for the fun of it, stamp
their seal on the vast majority of
University-sponsored student events.
UGLI: U, G, L, V7 This one's
got no alibi. It's the ugliest of the
University buildings. No small
honor with the likes of the MLB and
South Quad decorating the campus.
WCBN: Sounds like a radio sta-
tion. Oh yeah, it is. It's the student
run station, even so it's not too
popular among those who attend the
U. Maybe if they didn't play so
much music from the college ch%
people would listen once in a while.

. ,

In the campus-wide elections in the fall of 1987, mandatory funding for
the group PIRGIM was defeated with the help of protests such as these.


"I understand, dear. You got a sp
on the PS/2.... And you're what
home! Hang on, I'll get your fa


ecial student price
? Sending money

- h

Excessive worry about
weight, chronic dieting,
weight loss or fluctuations,
binge eating, purging


May be
signs of




How're you going to do it?
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You'll see how quickly you can turn out reports, term =
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sors a pleasant surprise, too.
For more information:

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