Summertime is Daily time.
.. law

st

0:

IC

Os

p

ZTS s11

4

S As rated by the most nutty,
eclectic arts staff around

WE NOW HAVE AIR HOCKEY!
* ICE COLD POP * FRESH CANDY *
A2'S ONLY INSTANT PHOTO BOOTH
* POOL TABLES *
* 603 E. WILLIAMS, Above Stereo Shoppe
*1215S. UNIVERSITY, Next to Middle Earth

314 Detroit Street
Corner of Fifth
Across from Farmer's Market
Carry Out or
Home Delivery
665-2266
Expires 9/1/90

---I

Best Club for Sweating to
Death and Feeling
Claustrophobic:
Club Heidelberg
Blind Pig (when crowded)
Best (and only) Laid-back
Club Manager:
Roland from Club
Heidelberg
Best Places to see the best
films:
Michigan Theater
Relatively cheap, comfortable -
and the choicest flicks.
Best Ann Arbor Band:
1. Big Chief
2. Mol Triffid
3. Pontiac
Yes, they've got hair - but
enough already. What matters is
the music, isn't that what they
say? If they don't they should
because with this funky quintet,

listeners (using the term loosely,
of course) get the best of
everything: Clinton, Iggy and all
the chaotic clamor of a chainsaw
massacre. Big Chief chief Barry
Henssler is the frenetic frontman
with the most admirable mane,
but it's Mike Danner and Matt
O'Brien, making up the most-
envied rhythm section this side
of... oh, who cares. Just get down
and double check 'em.
Best Chelsea Band:
1. The Holy Cows
2. Opossums
Best local cartoon strip:
"Fuck classes! Fuck classes!" (the
original text) from "Nuts and
Bolts"
"Cynicalman" from some genius
in Ypsilanti
The episode from "FullrMoon
Over McDonald's," where the
guy touches his nose wart and his
arm rots and falls off

$1.000 OF
Bar-B-Q Chi
All dinners served with fre
One coupon per order Sp
Delivery a

__
-,

regular price


.cken Dinner
nch fries, cole slaw, & bread
pecify coupon when ordering
area limited



Best show with only 20
people (max:
Ha! They rocked - really rocked
- and you all missed it! But
they'll be back June 8. If you
care, be there.
Best Local Groupies:
Frankheads
While M6l Triffid have a loyal
horde and regulars have been
known to attend Pontiac gigs, no
one packs them in like Frank
Allison and the Odd Sox and no
one has the songs memorized
more, dances sillier or looks like
they're having more fun than
their groupies.
Best Comedy Production:
Hash Bash
The Only Worthwhile
Shows of the Year :
McCoy Tyner at The Ark
Gil Scott-Heron at The Ark
k.d. lang at Michigan Theater
Don Cherry at the Ark
Best Local Posters:
1. "You'd've been a good kid... if
there'd been someone there to
shoot you every day of your life"
2. Mark Dancey (Big Chief) #9
3. Pontiac's poster with Scott, the
possessed drummer
4. Any flier for Captain Dave
5. "Listen to the Color of Your
Dreams" wCBN promotional poster
Other Worthwhile shows:
Steel Pole Bath Tub at the Blind
Pig
Captain Dave and the
Psychedelic Loungecats at the
Blind Pig, Dec. something
Kill Me M Llik (Kill) at Woody
and Miguel's
Best campus re-introduction
to the wild world of
Wilhelm Reich:
WR: Mysteries of the Organism,
shown by the Ann Arbor Film Co-
op.

Ah, spring, when a young person'sfancy turns to thoughts
of finals! Yes, that annual rite oflpassage, strategically
placed on the calendar to coincide with sunny days, lighter
clothing, and unprecedented dumping of hormones into
your bloodstream. Everyone needs a little help at finals
time, and if you don't have the money for a crash Kaplan
course because you spent it all buying your last term paper,
here is a practice final, made to fit every discipline.
Comparative Literature
1. The primary reason for studying comp. lit. is
a. to gain an understanding of literature in all its
forms from a variety of cultures
b. learn to appreciate the text independent of its
social and historical context
c. to sit around and talk about how lame English
majors are.
2. Roland Barthes
a. revolutionized thinking of the text as utopia
b. turned criticism on its ear before his tragic death
c. was French.
Political Science
1. Political science can best be explained as:
a. the study of government and politics in all
nations and throughout history
b. a rapidly changing field employing statistical
models and empirical data
c. my ticket to law school.
2. Power within Congress can best be defined as:
a. a function of seniority and committee placement
b. apparent popularity within the constituent body
c. whoever has the best Quayle jokes
Inteflex
1. The most sacred of medical relationships is:
a. doctor-patient confidentiality
b. the responsibility of medicine to the larger
society
c. getting a good match for your internship.
2. Irresponsible members of the medical community
are best dealt with
a. by an oversight board of experienced physicians
b. in a court of law
c. in gross anatomy lab.
Engineering
1. The role of the modern engineer is:
a. to find practical uses for the latest scientific
discoveries
b. to responsibly control technology for the benefit
of all humanity
c. to figure out the last possible bus you can catch
to North Campus and still make it to class on
time.
2. Computers have become a tool for:
a. doing busy work while engineers analyze and
plan
b. producing novel solutions for for previously
impossible problems
c. leaving dirty jokes on Confer.
Information and Library Science
1. A librarian's primary task is:
a. collecting and cataloging data for easy access by
patrons
b. preserving knowledge for posterity

c. erasing your friends' fines from GEAC.
2. Libraries should be kept quiet to:
a. provide an atmosphere conducive to study and
contemplation
b. avoid vibrations that may damage fragile
documents
c. ease the headaches of
sits grad students who
got drunk at
Dominick's last night.
Law
1. The most critical problem
facing lawyers today is:
a. resolving the
Constitutionally
guaranteed rights of the Rob
accused with the rights
of crime victims Earle
b. increasingly large
demands on already overcrowded court dockets
c. how to keep from ending up like the bald guy
on L.A. Law.
2. The goal of all lawyers is:
a. to argue a case before the Supreme Court
b. to see justice done for every individual,
regardless of race, creed, or color
c. to ask that eternal question, "Have you suffered
a slip-and-fall?"
Business School
1. The latest trend in business education is:
a. incorporating profit-making techniques with
ecologically sound practices
b. teaching ethics as integral with good business
practices
c. making six figures without missing golf
practices.
2. A successful BBA student usually epitomizes:
a. a talent for economics and a good head for
figures
b. an innate feel for competition and the thrill of
the marketplace
c. an ineptitude with foreign languages, which is
why he dropped out of LSA in the first place.

Till
UNIVERSI'
CLUO
Join us for
Commencement
Saturday, Ma
9am - 4pm
Reservations suggeste
The University Club is a private club f
alumni, and their accompanied gue
legal drinking age may pur<

- -- - - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -I
The BagelFactory,
& Deli 10I.University 66-334
an Ann Arbor tradition. I
I 1
Enjoy our...
I Delicious Deli Sandwiches 1
Ann Arbor's "Best Bagels"1
(as voted in the Michigan Daily 1989)1
Outstanding Omelettes, '
Gourmet Cream Cheese, '
Croissants, Cookies, Bagel Chips, I
Gourmet Coffee, I
1 and... I
I ~ I
1 1
1 Fnch fied Fragelfdough, rolkd in c on and sugar.
1 ~Bring in this ad and receive 1
I1 F E P E !L w/c oupon only, rotgood with useoohers.

Dental School
1. The philosophy of modern
a. prevention
b. cosmetic improvement
c. trying to figure out if the
looks like a tooth.

dentistry is one of:
dental building really

White N
Vsac
'n t 6 0 9 L W
663-42

2. Dental professionals always hope to:
a. serve as educators in good dental health to all
family members
b. preserve as much of a patient's natural teeth as
possible
c. get smart-assed Daily columnists under the
drill.
Bonus Question
When asked what they thought the subject of Rob
Earle's last column might be, most people replied:
a. another deathly-dull grouching session about
some esoteric subject
b. a rip-off of a David Letterman skit
c. Rob who?

:I


.2'i .WEEKEN~, Ap~I ~Q~fl99O

24

EE tE 1,p =1
t . : -

A i 90