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Alex
About
Town
Last year I predicted the Detroit
Tigers would win the AL East.
They didn't. In fact, they finished
dead last. I'm talking dead last.
Like Francisco Franco dead. In
the grave. They drove their
manager to the point of exhaustion.
Finding a representative for the AL
All Star team from the Tigers was
harder than finding the Garfield
bike reflector in a new box of Sugar
Pops.
In contrast, the Chicago Cubs,
whom I predicted to finish second
in their division, surprised.
everybody by winning the NL East.
With the speed of Jerome
Walton, the arm of Greg Maddux,
the glove of Ryne Sandberg, the
bat of Mark Grace, the wristbands
of Dwight "Ike" Smith, and the

brain inside the balding head of
Don Zimmer, the Cubbies
captured the nation's heart before
losing to the Giants in the playoffs.
And now another year has passed
and its once again the first week of
the season.
The off seasont hardly passed
peacefully for America's past time.
First there was the earthquake at
the World Series. This tragic event,
followed by the ridiculous bidding
wars over free agents, and then the
even more ridiculous strike over
god knows what, once again had
people talking about how baseball
was doomed.
Baseball doomed?
Nothing lasts forever, of course.
The Roman Empire fell. The us
ended the gold standard. Disco
died. But baseball doomed?
Baseball will never die. There's
something magical about it. It's
impossible to explain. If you'ye
seen Field of Dreams, you know
what I'm talking about. The film
was about as hokey as films get. A
man builds a baseball diamond on
his farmland and dead ball players
mysteriously appear and start to
play. But the film works.
As silly, sappy, and sentimental

as it is, it wrenches your heart and
brings a tear to your eye because its
about baseball.
Imagine the same movie being
made about any other subject.
Figure skating, stamp collecting,
arm wrestling, model UN, dentistry,
husbandry, taxidermy, country
music singing, Western music
singing, country and Western
music singing - I somehow doubt
any of these very worthy subjects
would work in a similar plot.
Baseball renews and refreshes.
It's like Gatorade for the country's
collective conscience. Every spring
at least for one day every team is
tied for first. This is true for every
sport, but for some reason in
baseball, everyone at one point
before the first pitch has been
thrown believes their favorite team
has a legitimate chance to win the
pennant.
Somehow once players don those
caps and stirrups all is forgiven.
Baseball players have eternal grace.
There's always another chance to
make a comeback.
Richard Nixon will never
seriously consider making a bid for
the presidency again, yet Boston
Red Sox fans are willing to

embrace Bill Buckner for another
year. Although letting the potential
last out for the World Series roll
through your legs is hardly
comparable to authorizing the
break-in of the Democratic
National Headquarters and
shaming the office of the
presidency, to those diehards in
Boston that fall night I'm sure a
majority would have rather seen
Nixon back in the Oval Office than
Buckner at first base in Fenway.
Baseball fans forgive and forget.
Pitcher Steve Howe, a former
Michigan and Los Angeles
Dodgers star, who has had more
problems with Coke than Pepsi
has, is back this season in the minor
leagues attempting a comeback.
Dave Parker, another former
cocaine addict, used to be known
for his poor attitude and work
habits. Once called "a baby hippo"
by then Chicago White Sox
broadcaster and present fly fishing
aficionado Jimmy Piersall, Parker is
now hailed as baseball's best
clubhouse leader.
Only the American penal system
is so lenient. In the courts you can
use the insanity plea or
circumstantial evidence as excuses,

but in baseball you have everything
from a torn rotator cuff to Astroturf
to day games to blame your
mistakes on.
If only Jim Bakker could hit .330,
he might be playing third base for
the California Angels instead of
serving 30 years in federal prison.
You can bet (no pun intended)
that within a few years Pete Rose
will be back in some capacity with
baseball. Fans will forgive him for
betting on the sport eventually, but
he may have to get a new hairdo to
boot.
So its another spring and another
season. The Tigers have just as
much a chance to win as the Cubs
or the Brewers or the Twins or the
Padres or the Reds.
Baseball is everything America
stands for equality, plurality, free
enterprise, life, liberty, freedom of
speech, swilling beer, getting paid
a million dollars to scratch your
crotch in front of screaming fans,
the infield fly rule - these were
the principles this country was
founded on.
And come October, look for the
Cubs to beat the A's in six.


COVER PHOTO, BY JOSE JUAREZ


Assistant Basketball coach Mike Boyd watches Steve Fisher coach the team.. no

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Culture Shock
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Rob Earle
PHIL COHEN
12
Slings and Arrows
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15
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4
Sketchpad
FRED ZINN
14
Alex About Town
ALEX GORDON
15
Weekend list


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