100%

Scanned image of the page. Keyboard directions: use + to zoom in, - to zoom out, arrow keys to pan inside the viewer.

Page Options

Download this Issue

Share

Something wrong?

Something wrong with this page? Report problem.

Rights / Permissions

This collection, digitized in collaboration with the Michigan Daily and the Board for Student Publications, contains materials that are protected by copyright law. Access to these materials is provided for non-profit educational and research purposes. If you use an item from this collection, it is your responsibility to consider the work's copyright status and obtain any required permission.

April 09, 1990 - Image 9

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1990-04-09

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

The Michigan Daily - Monday, April 9, 1990 - Page 9

The life of Brian and Charlie

1

Nuns on the Run
dir. Jonathan Lynn
by Alyssa Katz
Last week I read the great cover story by Mark
.rispin Miller in the April Atlantic Monthly, which
essentially explained that Hollywood is going to hell
in a handbasket because virtually every major American
film of the past few years has all the profundity of a
.McDonald's commercial. After finishing it, all misty-
eyed and remorseful over the demise of this nation's
cinematic glory, I consoled myself with the thought
that at least films from overseas would save us stupid
Americans from ourselves.
But my optimism is dimming. The thoroughly
;derivative English film Nuns on the Run completely re-
jects that country's great tradition of daring, wacky
comedy capers and trades it in for some all-American
sitcom "humor." Don't let Eric Idle's presence as hap-
less gangster Brian/charming Sister Euphemia of the
Five Wounds fool you: this film has almost nothing to
do with the creative dazzle of Monty Python, The
lGoon Show, the Ealing con game romps or even
Benny Hill. Every time there's some possibility for
Nuns to go off the deep end and get really funny, Idle
and his co-star (the much funnier, frog-faced Robbie
,Coltrane) just get put through another costume change,
for some new adversary shows up. They end up being

pursued by a Hong Kong drug gang (a British equiva-
lent to the paranoid depiction of Cubans in American
films), some boring English mobsters, a nun who
catches on to the men's real identity, Brian's girl-
friend's pissed-off brother and so on, ad nauseum. This
sort of thing worked in The Blues Brothers because
that movie did it parodically; in Nuns the who-will-
chase-them-next device is played completely straight.
It's not funny.
Countless opportunities to make fun of the
Catholic Church are thrown down the tubes. Idle and
Coltrane - the former acting as bland as baby food,
the latter almost bursting out of a constraining role -
have one brief discussion about the Trinity, with the
big joke being that Idle knows nothing, Coltrane
knows everything, and Idle has to teach a religion class
in five minutes. One truly funny moment is hardly no-
ticeable in this tedious set-up: Coltrane teaches Idle the
sign of the cross by incanting "spectacles, testicles,
wallet and watch" while making the gesture.
One last caveat, for those who must see a Python
alum movie, no matter howsbad: the music, most of it
by that scourge Yello, is terrible, a m6lange of the
worst of cop flick suspense noise and Eurobeat ca-
siotone.

NUNS ON THE
Showcase.

RUN is playing at Briarwood and

Ha ha ha! Guess what! These aren't really nuns! They aren't even women! Ha ha ha! What do you mean that's
not funny? The people who made Nuns on the Run seem to think it's a premise worthy of a whole movie.

)EATH
Continued from page 8
;Teath, what they were thinking
#while walking out of the movie the-
* ter after I Love you to Death, and
',hat they said about I Love You to
peath to their friends at a cocktail
party:
The Audience- before seeing
the movie: Boy oh boy oh boy.
rook at this cast. Kevin Kline,
Tracey Ullman, William Hurt,
Keanu Reeves, River Phoenix, Vic-
toria Jackson, Phoebe Cates. And
it's even directed by Lawrence Kas-
* an. I better go see this one, because
:f I meet Larry at graduation, I'll
have something to chat about.
Should I get Milk Duds or Jujubes?
OK, popcorn it is. Can men actually
control their sex drives?
The Audience during the
Movie: OK, it has to get funny.

Sooner or later, a good joke will
come along. I just know it. I just
love that TV show of Tracey Ull-
man's, so I know this movie will
get funny. It has to get funny, go-
damm it, I paid five bucks to see this
movie. The people sitting in front of
me are actually laughing. Are they
stoned? Can it really be true that
Kevin Kline is this bad at faking an
Italian accent? Why does Tracey
Ullman's American accent change
geographical regions every 15 min-
utes? Tracey Ullman's character's
mother is trying to fake a Yugosla-
vian accent. This plot is totally im-
plausible. I don't think it's ever go-
ing to get funny. Did I turn the iron
off before I left the house? When is
Kevin Kline going to get the clue
that dark blue whitey-tighty under-
wear does not cut it with sheer beige
pants? Get a load of William Hurt
and Keanu Reeves trying to act like

stoners. This might be funny if it
had some jokes. I'm so disappointed
that Lawrence Kasdan actually di-
rected this. Maybe I won't even go
to graduation. No, maybe I won't
even graduate. Can men actually
control their sex drives?
The Audience after the movie:
Did I miss the laugh track? Can men
actually control their sex drives?
The Audience at a cocktail
party: so anyway, I went to see this
new movie I Love You to Death. It
was one of the worst movies I've
seen in a while. It was about this
Italian guy who always cheats on his
wife, but she doesn't find out until
she runs into him at the library
necking with some bodacious ta-ta.
Then she gets really pissed and de-
cides to kill him with the help of her
Yugoslavian mother. But there's a
catch, see, because he's indestruc-
tible. Nothing she tries works. It
was unfunny, unintelligent, un-

worthwhile, and the mise en scdne
sucked. Can men actually control
their sex drives?
I LOVE YOU TO DEATH is playing
at Briarwood and Showcase.
BOOKS
Continued from page 8
that Fante was his favorite author.
Fante, however, had long since re-
sorted to writing screenplays to pay
his bills and had contracted diabetes,
which blinded him and took both his
legs. The renewed interest in his
work after Bukowski's aside inspired
Fante to write again, this time by
dictation to his wife, but he finished
only one novel before his death in
1983.
Ask the Dust is the third novel in
the loosely autobiographical saga of
Fante's fictional alter ego, Arturo_
Bandini. Torn between sincere ro-
mantic longings and the burdens of

Italian machismo, between the re-
spect of his literary idol J. D.
Hackmuth (the curmudgeon H. L.
Mencken) and public appreciation,
between his mother's devout
Catholicism and his father's cynical
realism, Banidini is full of contradic-
tions that cannot be reconciled. He is
tested often and, like any torn soul,
he fails, whether blowing his
mother's pension on a prostitute he
can't bring himself to sleep with,
degrading his lover to win her re-
spect, or slipping into robbery,
stealing milk which ends up filled
with detested butter. For Bandini,
greatness and misery go hand in
hand; his moments of literary and
tangible triumph are consistently
offset by personal and moral tur-
moil.
While such a structure certainly

adheres to covention, the clarity of
Fante's prose is a wonderful depar-
ture from the norm. Fante disdained
the cultural games played by the
symbolists and let his emotions run
raw on the page. His advice to those
intoxicated by the coast:
...So get youselves a polo shirt
boys, and a pair of sunglasses,
and white shoes, if you can. Be
collegiate. It'll get you anyway.
After a while, afte~r big doses of
the Times and the Examiner, you
too will whoop it up for the
sunny south.
While the novel is marred by a
hasty conclusion, Ask the Dust is
powerful, deeply emotional, impas-
sioned storytelling. Bukowski lik-
ened his discovery of the book to
"finding gold in the city dump," and
one is strongly encouraged to dig.
-Mark Rosenberg

u v

Retail

McKids & You, A Perfect Fit!

It's a fun job, but sonlebody has tt do it McKids, the country's most
unique and iinovtivenew children's'retail store, offers the widest
variety of chidreni, s spe iastt tp., books and fashion
accessories, a l ;an du icioa1 gtv nenL Anw re calling on
you to keep it Ahat "k
SALES AS E
,Ariarwood Ann Arbor
We seek upbe';ndividuals with a '%i.'lialty merchandi g background
and who enjo,-working with chily n. Come take adv ' tage of our
special advan d educational/saj training program;
For a career th t's a perfect fit, 1149ll-free, 24 houis/7 days a
week: 1-800-85U-852. EOE. ; ma y

ANN ARBOR CONTACT LENS CLINIC
Over 4000 Contact Lenses in Inventory
Authorized Giorgio Armani Distributor
suR oDUCING '

THEwoos M NEWEfsT

I

One Cornt p°ut

~&IKDS1

i'

L/aNrers t F am Luass
IT E E26% thinner than plastic
545 Church St. 769-1222
rn University Medical ical Research North
searchrNorthwestamU " nUniversityMedical
varsity Medical Resear" search Northwestern
Northwestern Universlt iversity Medical Reseat
edicalReseerch Nort Northwesternuniverafty
'n University Medical R at Research North>
earch Northwesern U stern University Medical
ersityMedcal ResearcI rch Northwestern
Northwestern University vwrsity Medical Resea
edcalResearch North NorthwesternVniversh
-n University Medical9 ' cat Research North'

The store for kids.TM

t

I'dp, "%

F

FREE TUTORING
available in all lower level Math, Science,
and Engineering Courses
UGLi

Room 307
East Lounge

M, T, W, Th
BURSLEY
M, W

7-11 pm
8-10 pm
8-10 pm

lake a close look at your career options. In weighing the pros and
cons - location vs. reputation, salary vs. growth potential - you'll
find that one choice clearly stands out. Northwestern University
Medical School. Our research is unique - distinguished by one-of-
a-kind challenges and cutting-edge projects.
If you possess a Bachelor's or Master's degree in the biological
sciences (lab experience helpful), we would like to hear from you.
Proven academic achievements are also required. Our exciting op-
portunities are available for both new grads and other qualified pro-
fessionals in such areas as:
" Pharmacology " Pathology Microbiology-Immunology
" Physiology " Cell Molecular Structural Biology " Oral Biology
" OB/GYN * Medicine
Northwestern offers a competitive salary and excellent benefit
package that includes 3 weeks paid vacation your first year, personal
holidays, dental insurance, and generous tuition reduction. Our spec-
tacular campus lines Lake Michigan's shores, a short 2 blocks from
Chicago's Magnificent Mile and all the city's cultural advantages. For
immediate consideration, please direct your resume, transcripts and
(3) references to:

SOUTH QUAD

Dining Room

M, W

A Service of the following honor Societies:

The things
DETAIL.S NEXT WEEK.

they get away with!
I

Tau Beta Pi

Eta Kappa Nu

j

a~

Northwestern University
Dept. of Human Resource Administration,
Chicago Campus
339 E. Chicago Avenue, Room 119
Chicago, IL 60611-3008

Sponsored in part-by MSA, UMEC, and LSA-SG

"THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS
IN APPLYING TO LAW SCHOOL
AND HOW TO AVOID THEM"

EEOIAA Employer. Employment eligibility verification required
upon hire.
The perfect
Macintosh®'companion
for only 504.
tome into Kinko s right now, and you can get up to 20 Macintosh"
laser prints for just 50C each. You'll not find a better time to get quality
prints of resumes. reports. presentations or whatever important
documents you ve created. 'rake advantage of this special offer today.
t 50 Laser Prints
Get uo to 20 Macintosn. laser Drints for lust 50c eacn. at paricioatino Kinko's.
Lmit one coupon per customer Expires 6130'90
e I

AT $6.OOAN HOUR,
WHO YA GONNA CALL?

A Seminar on the Law School Admission Process
and the Successful Student's Approach
Featured Topics Include:
" How Law Schools Evaluate Applicants'
" How to Select Law Schools
" Strategy and Timetable for Admission

Back to Top

© 2024 Regents of the University of Michigan