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When- bad regents happen to

Rhodes
Scholar

a nice University
At one time, I worked for the and journalistically conservative
Universtiy driving visiting mid- Michigan Daily with a bunch of
level corporate executives around "gag" leftist tracts? I wondered.
in a van. Although easy, the job Now, of course, I know the
had its boring spots when I would truth. Everything at the
find myself looking University is owned by
for something to do. the regents. They have
One day I was absolute power over
looking through the the whole shebang.
various manuals and Including you. Of
papers in the glove course, they are
compartment when I elected officials and
came across the thus responsible to the
registration for the voters. But in a state
van. It was owned, it where most people
turned out, by the think Jim Blanchard
Regents of the Rob was the quarterback for
University of the old USFL
Michigan, whom the Michigan Panthers, the
registration then Earle _ regents get little
proceeded to list scrutiny. A few years
This got me to ago, the Detroit Free
wondering what the regents Press endorsed the incumbents in
needed this van for. Do Nellie a regental election because "by all
Varner and Paul Brown go accounts, they are doing a good
cruising around in it on Friday job." In-depth, investigative
nights? Do Neil Neilson and journalism at its finest.
Veronica Smith throw a keg in the This whole set-up is governed
back and have a tailgate before by the state constitution. This is
football games? Does Deane the same constitution that had to
Baker follow the Daily's delivery be approved by the Congress at
van around at night and replace the time of Michigan's admission
the usually politically moderate to the union. It's ironic that the

descendents of these same
members of Congress from New
York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania,
and Ohio are now the ones paying
five grand a term to go here.
Anyway, this basically means that
the regents are totally free from
outside interference, as long as
they stick to basic rules like not
quartering troops in dorm rooms
or entering into treaties with
foreign princes or powers.
The one aspect of the system
that keeps the regents from
becoming total despots is they
don't get paid. They thus have
little incentive to hang around
much longer than is necessary to
raise tuition and check out a few
slides of the latest bulldozing of
some houses to make way for a
new parking lot. So if you've
you've ever wondered why the
regents always seem so antsy to
get on with things at those
meetings, while Jim Duderstadt,
Henry Johnson and the other VPs
are just kind of kicking back and
shooting rubber bands at each
other, its because the latter are
getting paid to be there, and big
time.
Which is not to say that the

regents don't make money off
their positions once in awhile. A
few years ago, one of them
helped get University contracts
for companies he owned interest
in. And if you think the regents
are at all serious about this code
thing, you've got another thing
coming. As you may know, most
of the regents are lawyers, and
they all plan to clean up for their
firms on constitutional challenges
to any code they decide to pass,
the more draconian the better.
There are less subtle money-
making opportunities for the
regents, too. For instance, who at
CRISP is going to question an
override signed by Phil Power,
even if you are 312th on the wait-
list. And you really didn't need
that GSL money, anyway, did
you? Groups trying to raise
money by selling donuts and
coffee in the Fishbowl could offer
James Waters a cut to stand
behind their table and check off
names in a Student Directory of
everyone who buys something.
Trust me, they'll be lined-up to
the engine arch, if they know
what's good for them.
Only one good way has been
found to fight the regents, and
that is having the same name as
one of them. Although
Congressional hopeful Dean
Baker lost both his election bids,
he knew Regent Deane Baker

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the graduation
blue book. This is my last final..." and to a point I think encour
Of course this has been going We should appreciate this c
on for some time. Earlier this year thing we have going here. W
we CRISPed for the last time. We else are you given so much
went to our last football game as a license to screw around with
student. We suffered through our life.
last Ann Arbor winter. Everything we've done fo
This isn't unique to seniors. past four years whether posi

Blues

Three-button boyfriend jacket,

S-M, $48. Belted, pleated
shorts, 313, $36.
Jacob son's
Libertyat State
Downtown Ann Arbor
We welcome Jacobson's Charge MasterCard- and VISA-
Shop until 9 p.m. on Thursday and Friday Until 6 p m on MondayTuesday Wednesday and Saturday.

Martin Rhodes Jr. went from
common criminal to.
uncommon student

raged.
ollege
Where
your
r the
tive
our

Martin Rhodes, Jr. spent 20
years devoting his life to crime.
Now he devotes it to his studies
as an LsA senior. Rhodes, a 41-
year-old who is majoring in Black
General Studies with a
concentration in psychology, has
been in prison four times.
The extensive list of his crimes
is, for lack of a better word,
impressive. His criminal record
shows convictions for such various
crimes as assault and battery,
arson, armed robbery, breaking
and entering, and "Defrauding.
Inn Keeper." According to
Rhodes the only crimes he has
not committed are murder, rape
and kidnapping.
Rhodes, however, changed his

outlook on life and decided to
leave penal institutions to enroll
in an institution of higher
learning.
"I looked at myself and I was
31 and I would be getting out (of
prison) in two years," Rhodes
said. "I just felt that if I had
anything in life that could turn
my life around, it would be
education."~
Rhodes, who dropped out of
school in the tenth grade,
immediately enrolled in Jackson
Community College while still
serving time in Jackson State
Prison in 1979. He earned a
degree in General Studies, and
then transferred to Spring Arbor
College.

Like the nihilists
who believe that
every moment we
are alive we are
moving towards
death, this
inevitable path
towards
graduation started
the second we
came to school.
There's been

Alex
About
Town

or negative has been part of

education. Bars have
taught us how to
handle our booze so
we don't make fools
of ourselves at
holidays. Girl and
boyfriends have
taught us what we
do and do not want
our future lifelong
companions to be

But now come May 6 we will
suddenly be RESPONSIBLE
ADULTS. RESPONSIBLE
ADULTS do not get away with
the same things college students
do. You start to keep normal
hours, you keep track of your
bank account, you eat three
balanced meals a day, you floss
twice daily, you check your oil,
you get married, you get a stable
job, you pay taxes, you have kids,
you pay for them to go to college,
you tell them the things you
hated your parents telling you,
you buy one of those sit down
lawn mowers and spend your
weekends complaining about the
yard, you grow old, and then...
well, you know the story.
Obviously this whole
graduation thing has been on my
mind. All my life I've thought
that after you graduate you get a
job and take care of yourself. I've
found however, that nothing
could be farther from the truth.
Think of all the seniors you
know as a Big Mac. Take away all
the ones that are going to law
school and take away one of the

two all-beef patties. Take away
seniors going to other graduate
studies programs and you lose
that other patty.
Next you have all the seniors
who have no idea what they are
doing at this point and there goes
your special sauce and lettuce.
Add to that the seniors that are
going into real life suspending
activities like the Peace Corps,
working abroad, going out WVest to
work at a ski resort or following
the Dead, and you lose cheese
and pickles.
Then of course there are those
seniors who have managed to be
able to manipulate their years
here in order to extend their
college years by another semester
or two. This usually happens-
either through necessity
(engineers), guile (come on Dad,
there are some neat classes I
haven't had a chance to take), or
stupidity (you need natural
science credits to graduate?).
There goes your onions.
Now what are you left with? A
sesame seed bun. Not quite the
sandwich it started out to be. But

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the last time we'd live in a
residence hall. The last game
we'd see Jim Harbaugh or Gary
Grant play in Michigan uniforms.
The last sandwich we would eat
at Rax or the last extension cord
we would buy at Kresge's. The
last day we would be first year
students, sophomores, or juniors.
Anyway you get the idea. This
last syndrome is to be expected,

like. Money machines have
taught us how to handle and more
likely mishandle money. Parking
tickets have taught us to respect
authority.
Classes have taught us... well
they've taught us... surely we
learned something along the
way... let me see, ah classes have
taught us how to sleep around
other people without drooling.


15 WEEKENII March '30, f990

18

WEEKEND

March 30, 1990