Let them eat all-
you-can-eat cake


I used to have a friend who
never went grocery shopping. He
had a car and everything, he just
never felt like taking the time to
;tock his cupboards and prepare
his own meals. Every meal he ate,
he ate at a local diner that
reminded him of home and in fact
he spent so much time there that
whenever I go there now
they still ask about him,
even though he hasn't been /
to Ann Arbor in a year. This
habit required money,
however, so he was spending
his hard-earned cash on
steak and hash browns when
he should have been making
car payments. Things got so
bad that he was parking his fl
car in the darkest, most out
of the way places he could
find to avoid the repo men. E
Our friendship ended one
day when I suggested that, if he
really wanted to avoid having his
wheels "involuntarily
repossessed," he should park his
car at Kroger. "After all," I said,
"No one would think of looking
for you there."
My friend is an extreme case,
but people in this town are
basically very lazy when it comes

to eating. I work at a restaurant,
for instance, where you pay five
bucks or so to have someone else
pour vinegar on a some lettuce
and microwave some noodles and
sauce, then serve it up to you as a
"real Italian dinner." I saw a
billboard the other day for a
service that does your grocery

- c
ob
A rle

shopping for
you, no doubt
for a "nominal
fee." Students
think they don't
have time to
shop and cook
for themselves,
and local
merchants are
cleaning up.
At some
point, however,
someone
decides they are

money and eating healthier. Now,
I could rest assured that the
spaghetti I was eating was much
better for me and didn't contain
harmful chemicals. I also found
that the spaghetti sauce I was
using was fifty cents cheaper at
Blue Front. So much for that idea.
This led me to a local restaurant
that had a plan that was the very
epitome of college culinary
existence: all-you-can-eat...
spaghetti. I went in, laid down my
money, and they led me to the
basement. Someone piled a
mound of pasta on my plate, then
topped it off with a mixture of
canned tomato soup and soy-
burger. I had to wait a few
minutes to begin eating as they
discovered they couldn't operate
the lights and the coffee pot at the
same time.
Most people are not like my
friend, who would gladly suffer
financial ruin than give up his
food laziness. Like me, most will
break down and go to Kroger.
There's nothing quite like the
thrill of the first time you
maneuver past the vegetables and
make your way to the Mr. Turkey
turkey baloney, that Kroger
check-bouncing card in your

wallet, and three of your
roommates fighting with over who
gets to push the cart. The sad
truth is, however, you won't
spend any less money here than
you would at Blue Front or
Village Corner, you just spend
more of it at once. For instance,
on a recent shopping trip to
Kroger, I spent nearly $80 on such
necessities as Carnation instant
breakfasts, a multi-function wine
steward tool, Flintstone vitamins,
chicken-in-a-bisquit crackers, pre-
mixed chocolate milk, Rudyard
Kipling's The Jungle Books, and the
latest issue of Guns and Ammo. I
then got in line behind a woman
who bought $90 worth of similar
useless items and a variety of
specialty foods, each of which had
to be price checked. When my
turn finally came, I noticed the
cashier keeping an eye of the
items as she passed them over the
scanner, noting anything that had
real food value. "You sure like
spaghetti, don't you?" she said.
As I lugged all this stuff home I
wondered what made me think I
needed all this garbage (oh yeah,
did I mention the cinch-sak
garbage bags I bought?. I really
needed some). Was it all that
buying power? Was I just a
victim of our consumer culture?
Are there subliminal messages
being broadcast over "Kroger
Radio: music to shop by"? I was
sure I had developed some kind
of unique psychosis until I got
home and my roommate, looking
at my haul, said "How come you

didn't get anything Ilike?"
The last alternative is Meijers,
which basically completes the
circle. You can go in and load up
your carts and be out in a jiffy,
unlike the horrible lines at
Kroger. In fact, cashiers at Meijers
will frequently grab you out of the
aisles and push you into their
checkout lane to expedite the end
of your shopping experience, the
fact that you were just looking for
the bathroom notwithstanding.
The reason for this is that the
lines at Meijers are so incredibly
short. I couldn't figure out why at
first, then I looked over toward
the entrance and saw the little
cafe they have right by the door.
So if you get to Meijers and
decide you are too lazy to do that
shopping and cooking after all,
you can just plop down and have
your meal served to you right in
the store.It could be a whole new
place to study, come finals time.
Not only is it open 24 hours, but
if you ever need anything - like
pencils, paper, a dictionary, .
calculator or other small appliance
- they are just a short walk away.
The only problem is, you'll
probably end up spending more
money then you think there,
making it hard to meet those car
payments. And this time, they'll
know where you're parked.

spending too much money or are.
not eating right and they decide
to fend for themselves. While this
is only somewhat less of a
budgetary strain, it definitely cuts
back on your menu options,
limiting them mainly to spaghetti.
When I was at this stage, I
decided to join the People's Food
Co-op, in hopes of both saving

watching the watchmen in a film
evidently about bureaucracy
running rampant. Andy Garcia
fights corruption within the police
department, namely Richard
Gere. Gere just spreads his seed.
(At Briarwood - 12:30, 2:45, 5:00,
7:30, 9:50, 12:00; at Showcase -
12:45, 2:50, 5:00, 7:45, 10:00,
12:05)
The Little Mermaid
Disney returns to fairy tales with
great success in this tale of the
little fish girl who wants legs.
Next thing you know little girls
will be wanting fins!(At Showcase
- 12:00, 2:35, 5:10)
Loose Cannons
Buddy-cop movie with Gene
Hackman and Dan Ackroyd.
Gimmick is that Ackroyd takes on
different personalities under
stress, which makes for amusing
scenes between Joe Thug and,
say, Pee-wee Herman. Oscar
possibility? Not. (At Fox -
7:00;at Showcase - 12:50, 3:00,
5:00, 7:35, 9:35, 11:45; )
Madhouse
John Larroquette (who hopefully
bought his wife diamonds at
LeRoy's jewelers for Valentines
Day) and Kirstie Alley (who
snuggled down for day o the
hearts with an aging Hardy boy/
lifeguard) buy a new house
(upward mobility alert) where
they can practice their conjugal
rites in peace until the
houseguests arrive. (At Showcase
- 12:25, 2:55, 4:55, 7:20, 9:25,
11:30)
Nightbreed
Author Clive Barker (described
by Stephen King as "the future
of horror") makes his directorial
debut with this film that proves
even monsters have souls. Not
much info on this one yet, but it's
'sposed to be a spectacular horror
epic. (At Fox - 7:15, 9:30; at
Showcase - 12:15, 2:40, 4:40,
7:25, 9:35, 11:55)
Revenge
Kevin Costner, another Vietnam
vet, steals his ruthless best
friend's wife and revenge begets
revenge. (At Fox - 7:05, 9:30; at
Showcase -12:00, 2:25, 4:45,
7:15, 9:45, 12:10)
(continues next page)

The '80s left with

Summer 1990

(July 5 - August 20)
Earn EIGHT HOURS of University credit for studying Introductory Geology in the Rocky Moun
" Yellowstone National Park " Grand Tetons " Dinosaur National Monument
* Craters of the Moon " Flaming Gorge
SETTING
This ideal "outdoor classroom" offers some of the most scenic and interesting geology in the entire Rocky Mountain region. Iv
erosion have exposed a variety of Earth structures and rocks of diverse age and origin. The effects of alpine glaciation, lands
a host of other geological phenomena provide an unmatched introduction to geology. The geological history of the Teton, Grc
mountain ranges is fully recorded in a sequence of fossiliferous rocks which in many cases can be interpreted in terms of pro
LOCATION
The University of Michigan field course is taught at Camp Davis, a permanent facility built by the University in 1929. Camp Da
of Jackson, Wyoming, near the junction of the Overthrust Belt, the Snake River Plain, the Wind River Range, and the Green]F
to the north, the Bros Ventre Range to the east, and the Basin and Range Province to the west. It is simply an excellent plai
The camp is located on the Hoback River near its junction with the Snake River; the trout fishing is great.
CAMP
The field camp was constructed by The University of Michigan in order to provide a teaching facility in the Rocky Mountains. C
consist of rustic cabins with wood-burning stoves and running water. Showers and laundry facilities are shared by students; r
style inalarge dining room. Camp facilities include classrooms, a first-aid station, a large recreation hall, a softball diamond, an
facilities are available in Jackson; transportation to town is provided twice a week.
COURSE CONTENT
Geological Sciences 116 is an in-depth course covering all aspects of geology. The thrust of this course is to teach students al
a variety of settings. Approximately two weeks of the course are spent on trips to other parts of Wyoming as well as Nevada, C
and Utah. You will examine minerals, rocks, and fossils in their natural settings. Although lectures are a part of the course,
spent in the field where instruction is often on an individual basis.
FACULTY
The camp Davis teaching staff consists of faculty from the Department of Geological Sciences at The University of Michigar
other universities. The course is typically staffed by three faculty members and two graduate teaching assistants.
CREDIT
Geological Sciences 116 carries EIGHT (8) credit hours and is equivalent to a two-term sequence of introductory geology. It 1
science distribution requirement in the College of Literature, Science, and the Arts.
PREREQUISITES
No prerequisites. High School seniors and university students are encouraged to apply. Entering freshpersons could arrive
with 8 hours of science credit out of the way by studying rocks and minerals in the mountains of the West.
SCHEDULE
Geological Sciences 116 runs for 6 weeks. The dates for the 1990 summer course will be from July 5, when the caravan leave
20, the day that the caravan returns to Ann Arbor.
COSTS
Tuition rates have not yet been established for the 1990-91 academic year. Based on the 1989 summer session, total costs, includ
health fee, and transportation to and from Camp Davis, will be $1,780 for Michigan residents and $2,005 for nonresidents.A
and field vehicles connected with the course are supplied by The University of Michigan.

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Dear Edit Prudecptnr$t~~ek. weow~lain the

A a law.
more effective way
parking and
would be for the
ie cars to
reason behind
just giing out
ticket. Also, those
o work fixing all
e sidewalks
an tooling
my car.

The '80s officially ended in
grand fashion this past week.
Icons we came on to depend in
the last 10 years have quickly
gone the way of eight track tapes
and disaster movies starring
George Kennedy. From the looks
of things, the end of everything
we've come to depend on could
be right around the corner.
This all started last fall when
the whole Eastern
Europe became
democratic in less time
then the average Lean
Cuisine takes to cook
in the microwave.
Now all of a sudden,
before we could even
get that fork into that
tuna lasagna, the
biggest kahuna of them all, the
USSR, is switching to a two-party
system. How long will it be until
the Soviets have their very own
slate of LaRouche candidates to
choose from?

to Alex o AM
Town col"mn e NAff pkA /be
Weekend .gazi.+ :.:..:. asms
complains .. rk ....rath
for parkin :.:: w . da::.y: d J: : kng
while bloc dn thk hadea.e . p p s,
says the rule " uu nt bk3 i
the sidewalks is rfdrIcuknis: ; : bk:zg.........
Earlier in 1 he artice , be ets s:< &-:.;: ::<:<::i::...: ..:::;.:.:. .. ....
know what a virtuous "guiy he is- numerous people I asked, realized
he doesn't take handicapped why there was a regulation and I now

tan j
ous
putt'
in th
her th
for n

b

Next came the joyful news that
Nelson Mandela was to be freed.
There are no drawbacks to this,
except maybe that anti-apartheid
activists everywhere lost their
best slogan: "Free Nelson
Mandela." Now that Mandela is
free, perhaps people can begin to
focus on not just freeing one man,
but freeing all of South Africa.
For now, though, someone
somewhere is stuck
with a warehouse
3 full of "Free
Mandela"
bumperstickers.
Then Saturday
night, the most
w nfl rock-steady symbol
of the '80s came
crashing down
when Iron Mike Tyson lost to
Buster Douglas. Despite the
initial controversy, Douglas has
now been named heavyweight
champion by the IBF, wBA, WBC,
MTV, NATO, and REM.

Contact:

DR. JOYCE BUDAI
Department of Geological Sciences
1006 C.C. Little Building
,764-9405

A WEEKEND

4

WEEKEND