4

Page 8- The Michigan Daily - Wednesday, September 27, 1989

RECORDS
Continued from page 7
to say that the songs have a robotic
feel, though. On the contrary, there's
just as much personality as ever.
One final gripe: some of the songs
drag on too long. "Union, Jack"
could effectively be at least two
minutes shorter.
All in all, it's not a bad effort
(pun again not intended). A lot of
good songs and good intentions got
lost in the sample shuffle, that's all.
By trying too hard to test out the
styles of others, Mick and co. lost
themselves a bit. The record begins
with a sample: "This is the Uni-
verse. Big, isn't it?" Next time
around, B.A.D. should narrow their
focus.
-Mick M.
Various Artists
These People Are Nuts!
I.R.S. Records
Celebrating ten years of the
I.R.S. label, These People Are
Nuts! is another of those eclectic
collections which can be riveting
one moment and quite dreadful the
next. Miles Copeland, manager of
The Police, started the label based on
the success of his band, and since
then has signed an assortment of

musical eccentrics and pop groups
with the potential to make it big.
The album's opener, "Nothing
Achieving" by The Police, is a cu-
riosity; the B-side of their first sin-
gle "Fallout" on Illegal Records, it
shows how punky the band was be-
fore discovering reggae. The Police
turn up in another guise on Klark
Kent's "Don't Care," a throwaway
blob of bubblegum punk and top ten
hit in the U.K. Klark Kent per-
formed on British TV in a green
mask and after much speculation as
to his identity, was revealed to be
Stewart Copeland.
Weirdo songs on These People
Are Nuts! come courtesy of Wayne
County & The Electric Chairs
(Wayne had the operation and be-
came Jayne), Root Boy Slim's
plump protest "Dare To Be Fat," and
the late Skafish's Christian dance
craze stomper "Sign Of The Cross."
Novelty numbers include Dr. & The
Medics' (U.K.#1) glam reading of
Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit In The
Sky," and Lords Of The New
Church's lame rock version of "Like
A Virgin."
What makes this discount release
worthwhile is the inclusion of some
notable classics. The Buzzcocks'
vastly superior original of "Ever

Fallen In Love" is essential for any
pop fan. Howard Devoto, vocalist on
the Buzzcocks' legendary Spiral
Scratch EP (1977), went on to form
Magazine whose "About The
Weather" is included here. Magazine
released one of the best albums of
the '80s with The Correct Use Of
Soap. Band members included John
McGeogh who later joined Siouxsie
& The Banshees, and Barry Adamson
who played with the Birthday Party
and Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds. The
(English) Beat's sprightly polemic
pop shuffle "Whine & Grine/Stand
Down Margaret" is excellent as is
The Fine Young Cannibals' debut
single "Johnny Come Home." The
Cramps stroll through "Goo Goo
Muck" from Psychedelic Jungle,
back in the days when they were a
parody of a rockabilly group, not a
parody of a parody.
Of course, an I.R.S. compilation
wouldn't be complete without one of
its greatest successes, REM. Here,
Mike Mills takes over on vocals for
the group's rousing version of The
Cliques' "Superman." The sublime,
the ridiculous, and the plain crappy:
as far as record company self-con-
gratulatory pats-on-the-backs go,
These People Are Nuts! is a pleas-
ant diversion.
-Nabeel Zuberi

La Cage aux idiots
Lou Ferrigno fights thugs, not stereotypes


BY DAVID LUBLINER
As the lights came up in the
theater, I rubbed my eyes and
looked around. I was all alone.
Didn't I see, a man sitting a few
rows in front of me when the
movie started? And wasn't there a
couple over there by the right
aisle? Well, they had left by now.
All that remained was the vague
memory of a film starring Lou
Ferrigno as a mentally handi-
capped Vietnam vet who gets in-
volved with the Chinese mafia
and is forced to fight a man
named Chang in a cage match to
the death.
In case you aren't familiar
with the popular sport of cage
fighting, let me fill you in. Both
contestants enter a ring sur-
rounded ondall sides by a wire
cage and duel until only one is
left standing. Spectators bet big
money on these fights and scream
frantically while they watch the
men beat up on each other. (For
all you rule-keepers out there, no
weapons, other than one's own
body, are allowed inside the cage.)
This ridiculous premise helps
set the stage for one of the worst
movies I have ever seen. Yet I
will never forget the moment in
the film when the Italian ganster
Tony Baccala says to the Chinese
mafia kingpin Yen, "You're bark-
ing up the wrong rice bowl."
With lines like those, you have
to figure someone would pay to
see this movie.
However irrelevant and painful
it may be to offer a summary of
the plot, I'll give it a try: Lou
Ferrigno, best known for his star-
ring role in television's The In-
credible hulk, plays Billy, a Ma-
rine wounded in Vietnam by a
bullet to his brain and left with
the mental capacity of a ten-year-
old. He and his friend accidentally
become entrapped in a triangle
involving the L.A. Police, Italian
businessmen, and the Chinese
mafia. The details of the plot are
far too tedious and stupid to dis-
cuss further. Ferrigno winds up
being forced to compete in one of
these so-called cage matches with
the reigning Chinese champion.
Lou Ferrigno is not one of
this country's finest actors, and
watching him portray a man with

[ a

Mick Jones (pictured left, way back
in his "I Fought the Law" days) is
merely one sixth or so of Big Audio
Dynamite, more colloquially known
as B.A.D. Despite their name, their
new album, Megatop Phoenix, isn't
all thatterrible.
Below, the Fine Young Cannibals
look happy, as they have just eaten
a nutritious meal. These sociopaths
have their oh-yeah-l-remember-
that-song "Johnny ComeHome"
featured on I.R.S. Record's handy
dandy (and cheap) compilation CD,
These People Are Nuts!

In a rare moment of placidity, Lou Ferrigno contemplates his next film
deal. Hopefully this time he'll read the script before he signs the
contract.

,t
.v
6
f.
?s
a
y
a
i
n
ti
.
'S

.,

the brain of a child is utterly
laughable and embarrassing. His
incessant whining for ice cream
and pickles is unbearable. While
the script is filled with lines such
as, "You really scare me, piss
ant," and "Sometimes you make
me want to puke," the acting is
far, far worse. Cage makes a late
night movie on Cinemax seem
like an Oscar winner.
The film was produced and di-
rected by a man named Lang El-
liot (no, I haven't heard of him
either). The opening sequences in
Vietnam appear so cheaply made

that they look as though they
were shot in Burns Park.
Even though I cannot imagine
this film enjoying any success at
the box office, I remain skeptical
about the future. Next year, Hol-
lywood might release Cage II, in
which cage fighting will have be-
come an Olympic sport and Billy,
a recently named Rhodes scholar,
will travel to Moscow to take on
the Russian champion, Igor.
CAGE is now playing at Show-
case Cinemas. Be thankful that
it's hard to get to.

I a

I1

See news happen?
Daily
764-0552

i


Hema flashed a new life
into those love songs of
the Gods. Her magical
hands and eloquent eyes
vividly brought to life
the love-lorn girl,
wailing expectant,
defiant, and suddenly
into the happy souls - all
with the limitless power
of a consummate artist.
HITAWADA,
NAGPUR
Hema's performance
was sheer magic,
bristling with
complicated foot work
and a superb mime.
MORNING STAR,
LONDON

:
+ yt t
If


MICHIGANENSIAN.
How is it pronounced

r

STORIES
on cassette tapes
An al NEW form
of adult entertainment

_-. .. .- f


STUDENT REPRESENTATION NEEDED
GET INVOLVED
Opening for student appointments are available for a wide
range of University committees. Student input is a must!
*Budget
*Athletics
*U Policy
Applications are available at MSA, 3909 Michigan Union.
Applications are due by September 29, 1989.
For more info, call Susan Langnas, 763-3241
Campus Governance Committee/MSA

f you love reading them, you will LOVE listening to them while you jog, while
you commute or while you...
Order NOW a three month trial subscription for only- $10, one tape per month
or 12 monthly tapes for $30.
Send your name, address and check made payable to:
STORIES
P0. Box 32187 - Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33420-2187
ALLOW 4 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY

763-TKTS

&

Tickets available at the Michigan Union Ticket Office & all Ticketmaster Outlets

s

I II

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO
MIRLYN?

'<

WHAT'S
HAPPENING

MORE THAN A CATALOG -
NOW JOURNAL INDEXES, TOO

RECREATIONAL SPORTS
IM CROSS COUNTRY MEET OCTOBER 5, 1989
ENTRIES DUE: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1989
4:30PM INTRAMURAL SPORTS BLDG.
TTV All! ID Ai CDD'UTC

Although we have come to
think of MIRLYN as the online
catalog for the University
Library, MIRLYN now consists
of TWO major parts:
1. The online catalog (records
for all items owned by the Uni-
versity of Michigan Library)

computer) you may now
choose either:
MCAT - Michigan's online
catalog
DWIL - Wilson indexes
The indexes currently include:

i'Iw "V..tiN I