ARTS
The Michigan Daily
Tuesday, November 22, 1988
Page5
Recall
T
FUDGE (the Federated Union of
DisGruntled arts Editors) de-
mands the immediate recall of the
so-called "humor" magazine, The
Gargoyle. Its "irreverence" is in-
tolerable. Every danger of "non-
objective" "humor" is "found"
in" said "issue."
For example, University
President James Duderstadt is
shown in an compromising
sition - at a Las Vegas roulette
able, attempting to recoup the
niversity's financial deficit by
Something-ist "humor"
gambling with a garbage bag full
of student meal cards. Apparently
the purveyors of this scandalous,
something-ist trash find it amus-
ing to undermine students' faith
in our beloved "Dude," who is
not only the greatest University
President since Robben Fleming,
but several inches taller than
anyone on the Gargoyle staff will
ever be! Furthermore, no attempt
was made to let Duderstadt
respond with a humorous piece of
his own, though the president is
an extremely funny man in his
own right -- just read the
Michigan Mandate.
This rampage does not end
here. In the two-page comic,
'The Adventures of Viper-Boy,"
this "humorous" "cartoon" insults
Marxists, TAPs (Trendy Ameri-
can Princesses), Timberland boot-
and-sweater-pulled-over-the-butt
wearers, East Quad residents,
'"frat" boys, and, most nefariously
:of all, THE DAILY OPINION
PAGE. This is a blatant attempt at
a fascist power grab within the
campus media, and deserves a
nasty letter from Rackham Stu-
dent Government.
From here, the Gargoyle turns
its imperious eye on the national
media, with its sacrilegious par-
ody of TV Guide, including
shows like "Bobo Endoplasm, the
Incredible Amorphous Sorority
Detective" and "Best Little
'heGarg
Whorehouse on the Prairie."
Television is a national
institution. President Ronald
Reagan has been on television
several times. Obviously, then,
the Gargoyle intends to destroy
our national ideals through this
indoctrination, in order to
facilitate their villainous rise to
power. Also, by satirizing
television networks, thus
promoting more expensive cable
services, the Gargoyle has
masterminded a classist scheme to
keep the American underclass
misinformed.
As if to add insult to injury, the
Gargoyle has entitled an entire
page "The Offensive Page." They
once again "thumb their respective
noses" at a beloved University
figure - this time our dear de-
parted interim president Robben
Fleming. The remainder of the
page contains a cat strangulation
scene and ethnic slurs against
Canadians and Aztecs. The Gar-
goyle has obviously launched an
offensive offensive calculated to
offend.
Finally, in this, the Gargoyle's
"Butter" issue, the magazine
launches a vicious attack on the
American dairy industry. By por-
traying this wholesome dairy
spread as an object of torture (see
photo) and a political tool (in the
self-proclaimed "cartoon"
"Breakfast avec Anarchist") the
Gargoyle belittles ONE OF THE
MOST VITAL SOURCES OF
CALCIUM ON THE PLANET. It
may be funny now, but when an
entire generation of University
students wakes up one morning
with osteoporosis thanks to this
propaganda, they won't be
laughing.
Can this be tolerated? The
agenda is clear. Headed by
"editor in chief" P. David
Gilleran, the oligarchical
hierarchy labeled the "Gargoyle
staff," (Dan King, Timmy
Fitzpatrick, Ivan Sanchez, and
cartoonists William Schuler and
Captain Dave Renneker) is
engaging in completely unilateral
"humor"-making. This piece of
drivel is currently being sold to
the unsuspecting masses for $2 in
the Diag and the Fishbowl. This
must be stopped.
Join FUDGE in calling for a
recall of the Gargoyle. Protest this
offensive, affronting, buttery
manifesto today at noon at the
Student Publications Building.
Help return the campus media to1
the hands of decent, God-fearing
publications - like ourselves.
This editorial reflects the majority
opinion of Lisa Magnino and Jim
Poniewozik.
You gotta see
With Philips, appearances count
(.
yi:
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BY EMILY PORTER
PHYSICAL appearance alone should be enough to
describe how insanely odd a person Emo Philips really
is. Tall, ungainly, and incredibly skinny (to the point
that he appears to be severely malnutritioned), this stand-
up comic gets laughs simply by walking on stage. His
self-butchered, pageboy hairstyle and deep-socketed,
super-wide eyes cause him to favor a large flying insect.
His clothes never match and they never fit; his pants are
always about six sizes too small. When Emo moves his
body, his motions are overly exaggerated and very
gawky.
The best description of Emo is as a goofy, pre-
pubescent Rodney Dangerfield with the comic effect he
creates from his self-deprecating one-liners. He is
constantly describing his pitiful childhood and the
injustices inflicted upon him since birth: "When I was
ten, my parents moved to Downers Grove, Illinois.
When I was 12, I found them." He describes his one
good friend as a child; "I had this close relationship with
this other kid. I was his imaginary friend."
But, Emo's character also encompasses other aspects
of his life besides that of the abused child. For example,
he discusses his sexuality: "I don't know if I have sexual
magnetism or animal magnetism, though sometimes I'll
find a squirrel stuck to my forehead." He even touches on
the subject of politics. He explains that when the doctor
informed him that his grandmother was on a life-support
system - her brain was dead, but that her heart was still
beating - he answered, "Oh my gosh, we've never had a
Democrat in the family."
Emo, who has a record contract with Epic, the same
label that records Michael Jackson and Carly Simon, has
released two albums. The first, entitled E=MO2, won the
New Music Award for best comedy album of 1985. The
second album, Emo Philips Live from the Hasty
Pudding Theatre, actually wasn't; it was recorded on a
different night so that it would be aimed especially at a
listening audience. Emo explains, "There is nothing I
hate more than when the audience is laughing uproar-
iously as the comedian mimes Benjamin Disreali
breaking out of a box, or whatever, while I'm sitting at
home feeling as left out and confused as a cosmonaut at a
DAR picnic."
In order to fully appreciate Emo's routine, however,
one must see him perform. Tall and lanky, clad in his
skintight shirt, tattered pants, unmatched socks and lace-
less shoes, he can not control his habitual gestures, such
as constantly sweeping his hand back through his Princi
Valiant haircut. With his bulbous doe-eyed facial
expressions and his goofy, squeaky voice, audiences have
at times thought he was mimicking retarded children.
In addition to his two albums, Emo has also
performed at Caroline's, a hip comedy club in New Yoik
City and at The Secret Policeman's Third Ball, a benefit
for Amnesty International. He has appeared several times
on Late Night with David Letterman and was once a
guest on Miami Vice (on which he portrayed a crookedI
game show host opposite Phil Collins.)
Emo grew up with two sisters in a suburb of Chicago
where he claims his father worked in the dead letter offi e
of the United States Post Office. As a child, he was
small and feeble and suffered from asthma. Thus, EnO
was constantly ridiculed by his peers (although he says
he did not mind because it taught him "to take a punch').
And, as an adult, Philips remains a glutton for
punishment. The life story he tells through his jokes,
from traumatic childhood to unlucky love affairs, has one
common theme: abuse. He tells the story of a girlfriend
whom he "caught in bed with this other guy. I was
crushed. I said, 'Get off me, you two."'
Well, don't worry, Emo. We're not laughing at you;
we're laughing with you.
EMO PHILIPS will perform two shows at The
Mainstreet Comedy Showcase, located at 314 E.Liberty
Street at 8:30 tonight and tommorrow night. If both
shows sell out, there will be one more additional show at
10.30 p.m. tomorrow. Tickets cost $13 each and there
is reserved seating only.
'Em
Backcountry travels with Jim
BY D. MARA LOWENSTEIN
W ALKIN' Jim Stoltz's show is a
multi-media extravaganza. A song-
writer and singer of backcountry mu-
sic and ballads, Jim is walkin' into
Ann Arbor tonight with his "Wild
West Show".
The show is made up of three ele-
ments: Stoltz's music, a sprinkling of
poetry, and quotes from nature writ-
ers, and the backdrop - two projec-
tors producing dual images of the
wilderness.
Stoltz's love for nature -
canyons, mountains, and desert alike
- is evident in the very nature of his
being. Stoltz walked from Mexico to
Canada in 1979 and since 1974 he has
traversed more than 13,000 miles of
America's backcountry. The titles of
Stoltz's tunes reflect the beauty of his
visions: "Spirit is Still On The Run,"
"Lone Lion Runs," and "Wolf Song."
This dedication to wildlife and wilder-
ness is an overpowering force in
Stoltz's work and is its most palpable
strength.
Stoltz is a backcountry country
singer and for those of you who have
pre-conceived notions about country
music, Stoltz may cause you to re-
consider. For those of you who have
given country music a fair shake and
still aren't converted, consider your-
selves forewarned.
WALKIN' JIM STOLTZ enlightens
the conscientiously converted tonight
at the Ark. The show starts at 8
P.M., tickets are $7.50, 6.50 with
student ID.
? (
WHAT'S .
HAPPENING
Stoltz
... Wild West lives
"The colors are riled and the shad-
ows run wild
And they leap 'cross the sands
where you lay,
As the light starts to fall, the coy-
otes they call,
To this world that is yours for a
dream,
And something grabs hold, and it's
deep in
RECREATIONAL SPORTS
*THANKSGIVING HOL IDA Y HOURS
CCRB
Correction
The review of Grease on page 9 of Monday's arts section mistakenly
identified Frenchie's male counterpart as Sonny. It is actually Doody, played
by Mitch Shapiro. The Daily regrets its error.
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