Page 8- The Michigan Daily - Friday, September 30, 1988
Continued from Page 7
of Exploding Plastic Inevitable last weekend?
OK, to anticipate the inevitable protests, I
will readily concede that not everyone my age has
joined the miles-long line to the time machine.
But the fact remains that, when they finally
compile the Encyclopaedia of American Culture,
this decade's entry will contain little more than a_
plot synopsis of thirtysomething, a picture of
somebody wearing a Mohawk and a nose ring
thrown in for variety, and the succinct in-scrip-
tion, "See also 1960s."
I'll also concede that a hell of a lot of good
art, of all forms, came out of the '60s (though
the fact that I don't need to give examples speaks
volumes). But there's just some-thing wrong
when the majority of the college set consider the
ideal radio format to be - for Chrissake - clas-
sic rock. Music as old as you are. Not to take
away from Messrs. Dylan, Townshend, or
Richards, but when the flower power gang was
out "changing the world" (as they are still wont
to kid themselves), they sure as hell didn't do it
while listening to the Andrews Sisters.
NOW GET READY, BECAUSE HERE'S
THE PART WHERE I ABSOLVE YOU OF
ALL GUILT AND PLACE ALL THE BLAME
ON SOCIETY. Well, not really. But, to use just
one example, the fact remains that there's a per-
fectly good reason to listen to classic rock.
There's nothing else on! Oh, maybe you live
within range of a good college station - itself
no failsafe charm against the ghost of Radio Past
- but by and large, the only game in town is
What's That Tune? - '80s style.
Reason? There's no tyrant like an outcast
turned popular, and such was the case when once-
underground FM radio saw the light of day. Once
a new generation with a new approach to music
reared its close-cropped head, the radio establish-
ment gazed down at its withering flower chains
When the flower power gang was
out "changing the world" (as they
are still wont to kid themselves),
they sure as hell didn't do it while
listening to the Andrews Sisters.
and performed the famed Equation of the Aging
(new talent = we're getting old = death).
But the Baby Boomers, unlike generations
past, had the numbers to fight back. With an un-
precedentedly large and moneyed membership on
their side, they were able to make the Woodstock
soundtrack a not merely profitable, but required,
asset to the library of any programmer who val-
ues her/his job. Reclaim your youth! Wait in
line for the new Beatles CD just like you did for
the new Beatles LP in 1967! Hear a near-perfect
reproduction of what radio sounded like when
you had all of your hair! All this for a few minor
purchases of Our Sponsor's Product!
Sound paranoid? Maybe. Marxist? Whatever.
But try and explain the squelching of punk acts
like the Boomtown Rats and the Sex Pistols just
as they threatened to break in America. Try and
explain the Cure selling hundreds of thousands of
albums and still wanting for airplay - while
WRIF plays a half-hour Zeppelin show daily.
The practical upshot of all this is a loud and
-clear message to our young 'uns: "Your culture
bites. We were the Golden Age. You'll eat our
leftovers and like it." It's a message that comes
across in other arenas as well - hell, how many
times have you heard "The University of Michi-
gan, long a hotbed of '60s radicalism..."? Don't
believe it? Read the headlines. Does the newly-
formed student justice league Campaign for a
Democratic Campus (CDC, 01988) sound at all
like Students for a Democratic Society (SDS,
©1962)? Hmnm ... A little Tom Hayden here, a
little Big Chill there, and Disraeli Gears starts
sounding better and better.
All this theorizing aside, you can't pin it all
on some global conspiracy when a local band's
key to success is a good cover of "Whole Lotta
Love." And maybe it doesn't matter who we pin
it on, after all. Suffice it to say I await the end of
the decade when Rolling Stone or Spin or
whoever makes such choi-ces selects its Band Of
The '80S. If they're honest at all, the winner
won't sport a single unwrinkled face.
In the meantime, Abbey Road should be out
on DAT any day now. See you at the record
Rem ler's Riffs
At the tender age of 31, Emily Remler has been named best
jazz guitarist by downbeat magazine. But that's no surprise
to those familiar with her work..
After graduating from the Berklee College of Music at 18,
she went -on to New Orleans where she crafted her style with
Wynton Marsalis and Bobby McFerrin. She's now back in
New York and playing with the likes of CharlienByrd, Eddie
Gomez, and Pat Martino, but she'll be in Ann Arbor at the
Bird of Paradise tonight and Saturday. Sets are at 9:30, 11,
and 12:30 with the Ron Brooks Trio backing her up. Cover is
$6, and sorry, but only those of you fortunate enough to have
reached the big 2-1 will be allowed in.
Let us do your alterations!
LaCertified Seamstress " Personalized fitting since 1968 " We also
fit for clothing stores " 24 hour dry cleaning " Formerly with
Jacobsons for over 15 years in alterations " Fast, friendly service
Continued from Page 7
D : What happened to Dr.
R: He is in Iowa, hiding out I
think. He's shirking his
D: What is the status of the
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moun-tain in your campaign?
R: Today there is a mountain.
But that could change. Yesterday
there was no mountain. We'll just
have to wake up tomorrow and see.
D: What do you plan to do about
Top 40 music if elected?
R: I think just an outright ban.
Unless it became Top 40 music like
it used to be.
D: Would you make it illegal to
play Bon Jovi songs on the radio?"
R : Nahhh - only a
D: Would you invite the Grateful
Dead to July 4th concerts in
D: How do you plan to decorate
the Oval Office?
R: I'm just gonna paint it black.
D: Even the red button?
R: That's gonna be black too, to
make it harder to find.
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D: What would your policy be
on legal drugs?
R: I won't have a policy on
drugs. I'll leave that to someone else
to botch up."
D : Who would be in your
R: Anyone who applies.
D: Which heads of state do you
look forward to meeting?
R: Tip O'Neill. He isn't really a
head of state, but I want to find out
if he floats as well as I've heard he
D: Who would play. at your
R: We'll give that job to the
551 S. Division
(near South & West Quad)
NOW OPEN Sun. 4-8
D: Would you comment on the:
charges that the real Randee moved:
to Bolivia and thus you are his evil
R: I, uhh, I don't know what you
are talking about. No comment.
D: What about the charge that
you are actually a split personality
with Randy Newman?
R: I'm honored.
D: Do you have any promises for
the American People?
R: I promise that eve'ry town in
America will get a buffalo. If you
ask me something I'll promise it.
D: Would you reissue MC5
albums if elected?
RANDEE OF THE REDWOODS
will make two campaign stops at
7:30 and 10 p.m. tonight at the Ark.
Admission will be $9.50 for
members ahd and students, otherwise
it's $10.50 a plate. What will be on
that plate? A pineapple malt, of
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