22 U. THE NATIONAL COLLEGE NEWSPAPER
Life And Art APRIL 1988
Words of wisdom
from the couch
Editor's Note: Dave Roloff, an advertis-
ing major, also holds anyadvanced de-
gree in counseling psychology. His
weekly column is a service of the Man-
eater, U. of Missouri, Columbia.
Dear Dave,
My roommate and I have become very
good friends. We have made several
mutual friends, all who like to smoke
pot. I myself have never tried it, but now
my roommate and friends want to be the
first ones to get me high. I'd like to try
the experience but I don't want to be-
come the evening's entertainment for
my friends. How do I get out of it?
Under Pressure
Dear Under Pressure,
With social mores shifting to the con-
servative side, any decision to try an
illegal drug can be a difficult decision.
Peer pressure added to the situation
certainly will not help you think clearly.
I suggest two options; the first is to re-
move yourself from the peer pressure
until you have time to truly decide what
you want to do. A few days or a week of
not seeing your friends shouldn't be dif-
ficult to endure and may help you put a
perspective on your situation.
The second option, though I don't
legally endorse it, is.to take away the
cause of yourfriends'pressure and try it
yourself or with a good friend. After
this, your friends' need to be the first
willno longer exist and hopefully with it
the pressure to join in at all.
College is full of new and different
experiences. The decision to smoke,
drink or sleep with someone should be
an individual choice rather than a
group effort.
Dear Dave,l
I bought some inexpensive condoms
and discovered after lovemaking one
had split open. I was really embarras-
sed and now my girlfriend swears she's
pregnant. What do I do now and how
can I make this up to my girlfriend?
Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed,
Thinking you are pregnant can be an
unnerving experience for many women.
College is a time of opportunity and per-
sonal exploration; having a child does
not always fit into these plans.
Although this is not the case for all, your
letter sounds as if your girlfriend is con-
cerned over the possible pregnancy.
First of all, let your girlfriend know you
are sincerely concerned about the situa-
tion. Do not joke or laugh off what hap-
pened. Explain to her you are sorry the
accident occurred, and stress it was in-
deed an accident which you both could
not foresee. Above all find out what your
girlfriend needs right now and try to
give that to her.
Dear Dave,
My father won't let me open a local
checking account. He claims it is easier
for him to deposit and monitor my funds
if we keep my account at home. Doesn't
he trust me? I mean I am a grownup.
Mad
Dear Mad,
From the sound of your letter it
appears your father is paying for most if
not all of college. If your father is sup-
porting you, he has several points. It is
easier and faster to transfer in-bank
funds from your dad's account into
yours at the same bank. As far as moni-
toring the money in the account, h
should not be able to obtain this unles
you willingly give this to him or have a
mutual account.
Anyone who attends college should be
given a chance to start his/her own
checking account. Even if thismeans
having one in your hometown to handle
emergencies with quick in-bank trans-
fers and a second one here to help with
stores that scoff at out-of-town check
You need to stress that alocal account is
necessary for you to learn how to live on
your own and be financially indepen-
dent.
The best way to change your father's
mind is to find his specific reasons
against the local account and work out a
plan to ease his concerns. For example if
he is concerned over your ability to
handle money then draw up a budges
and contingency plan for him to
approve. No matter what, the key is to
pacify his worries about your abilities
and show him you are responsible.
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