By MIKE GILL
To: Mr. George "Sparky" Anderson,
Dean of American League Managers T H E SP0R T I
Dear Mr. Anderson,
I need to write a preview of the
American League East. Would you I like the Yankees hittin' - oooh! c
please send me some ideas? Now that is scary. Quite a recipe. b
Love, You start off with Mattingly. Is this c
Mike guy Lou Gehrig or what? Winfield J
Hey Mikey, writes a book - but don't take g
Great to hear from ya again. You nothin' away from his hitting. Uh- f
know I was just telling my wife the Uh. In all my years in this game,
other day all about the American I've never seen a Winfield hit like
League East, so I think I know a lot this Winfield. Maybe because he's
about it, but then the phone rang and the only one. Now they add Clark.
it was one of my grandkids - you What's the deal with this team and 1
know how grandkids are. They call candy bars. First they had Baby
ya up and say "Gramps, I was just Ruth, then Reggie bars and now
building a house with my building Clark bars. Did Pee Wee Reese play
blocks when the cement truck pulled for them?
up., , _____I_ _o___a_ ____:..r:.__.
Boy, I tell ya, I got a kick out of
it back in December. I had the kid for E
a couple of days back in California. I
was paintin' out in the garage and I
gave him a ball. Holy smokes - the Oh yeah, Billy Martin's back. I
kid hit it over our fence. Now he love Billy.
goes over there to get the dang thing THEN YA GOT Toronto.
and out comes their German Shepard. When I go to Toronto I go to play.
Holy Toledo, you should have seen Yes sir. There's no foolin around
that little sparkster run! I just sat with them. Boy, you take that Bell
there and chuckled. - now he's gonna hit .300 and hit
Kind of reminds me when Gibby 30 home runs with his eyes closed.
handed Nokes a glass of apple juice Ya got Steib and Key pitching and
but it was a glass of Tequila. Ohh that combination will open a few
boy - Nokey had his hands full in doors for ya.
that one. Don't tell me the Jays choked last
ANYHOW MIKE my boy - year. Uh-Uh. I looked that up in the
let's do an in-depth analysis on the dictionary and a choke says it's when
AL East. When I use them big words a particle gets stuck in the throat by
like in-depth and analysis it makes the larynx. How could you lose a
me think I'm some kind of TV ana- pennant because of that?
lyst looking at why prices in Poland Now them people up in Boston.
are more expensive than Puerto Rico. What's his name? Tom Revere? That
Now the way I look at the East, guy better go light some candles in
ya got seven teams - and any one of the church because I can see it now:
them's got a shot at winning. It's "Them Red Sox are comin'. Them
like tulips in the spring - they all Red Sox are comin."' Boy they got
start underground, but ya know one's some young raw talent that's about
gonna get that pretty little flower on to sizzle.
top before them others get it. Talk about sizzlin', that bullpen
of the Re
see it ni
peach fuzz under their chin now and
they might be ready for a real run on
'VIE W S it. Then you- got Molitor and Yount
- sounds like a cartoon strip - but
they are two fine men - not to
mention ball players.
d Sox is gonna be a donny- Baltimore has three Ripkens -
o. Lee Smith for who? No Cal Sr., Cal Jr., and Billy. Reminds
ortant. It'd be like tradin' me of what my old Aunt Matilda
Tammy Baker with Swag- named her cows. Now if this Cal Sr.
wn in for Reagan and Gor- could breed a few more young ones
like his own - give 'em the pen-
KNOW all that politics nant. Until then, watch PBS.
th them primaries and cau- FINALLY, there comes the In-
t me confused. First it's Hart dians, hootin' and hollerin' some-
pposed to win. Then Gep- where off that lake. Well, I'd holler
is Iowa. I like Mary Hart too if I lived in Ohio - in fact I did.
n Entertainment Tonight. Put them in eighth place (oops -
his Simon character. I can only seven teams.)
ow. He'll say: "Telephone Listen Mike, I got to go. Can't
ev" Someone will say: "Uh- tell you what place each team will
n he'll say: "Put the military finish. But I'll say it again to the
" Someone will say: "Uh- people of Detroit. This is the best
then he'll angrily yell: team I ever got and come October
4 sez nuke the whole damn there'll be some happy Detroiters.
nd they'll do it. Nokey just gave Henny - that's
n' along now. Milwaukee Hennemen for you - the old apple
Trebelhorn for a manager. juice trick. Henny laid a golden egg!
- who invents last names (Ha!)
e guys? Now the Brewers . Your Best Pal,
ut fast last year. Boy, you Sparky
m that kind of start this year P.S. Mike, do you think Detroit
k out. They got these kids would be happy if we finished fifth?
puttin' a little more than Just asking. W/B.
The Michigan Daily-Monday, April 4, 1988- Page 9
By STEVEN COHEN
A shaky early season and a
middling record notwithstanding,
it appears as if Michigan's
women's softball team is now
headed on the right track.
Two victories over Miami of
Ohio last weekend seems to sup-
port the notion that Michigan's
destination could be excellence and
not the mediocrity suggested by
their recent west coast trip.
Indeed, Michigan's 5-8 record
entering this afternoon's double-
header against the Redskins is a
bit deceiving. Four of those losses
came against nationally ranked
teams, and six of them were by a
The losses can also be attributed
to inexperience. Michigan has a
young team with three first year
starters; shortstop Bonnie Tholl,
pitcher Andrea Nelson, and
catcher/left fielder Julie Cooper.
Senior pitcher Michelle Bolster
set an example for her younger
teammates in leading the Wolver-
ines to a 1-0 victory in the first
game against Miami of Ohio.
Bolster struck out 12 batters and
hit the game-winning home run.
In the second game, Nelson fol-
lowed suit with a 5-0 shutout of
After such performances,
Michigan coach Carol Hutchins is
expecting more good pitching,
particularly from the ace of the
"Michelle has to do what she did
for us (Saturday) for us to do well.
She's the key for us."
The Personal Column
MICHIGAN DAILY CLASSIFIED ADS
BUY, SELL, TRADE or
JUST PLAIN GET RID OF
in the new
Coming soon in The Michigan Daily Classified Ads
The Tiner-has Come.
I TME O MVE?
Look :for the ' Movieg So
So ages April 8th
the Weekend Magazine
*FREE PLAY 0
25*ad 2 Pp*An ro' Ol ntn
: 0ht ot olTbe*Fobl
! , . ,.W ~ a t , b v t r o S o p e- E p r s 4 8 8
:ANN ARBOR'S FINEST VIDEO &PINBALL
" 254 Candy * 254 Pop * Ann Arbor's Only Instant 'o}
0 Photo Booth * Pool Table * Foosball0
* *603 E. William St., Above Stereo Shoppe Expiit1res/8/88
0 " On South University Next to Middle Earth iNmit v eid rs.o&at.mMidnight
No.ai Fi at p-idih P
c 'mon... thursday's classes aren't all that important '
"THE WILD MA NvsT
BALLARD upd4 b
: : I
* Above-average wages, plus bonus * 3,200 positions * Scenic
resort area * Low cost housing and meals * Recreation program
* Free rides, attractions, beach privileges in your spare time "
DATE: Tuesday, April 5.1988 DATE: Wednesday. April 6, 1988
TIME: 10:00 a.m. - 9:00 p.m. TIME: 10:00 a.m. - 9:00 p m
PLACE: Holiday Inn - East PLACE: Holiday Inn West
3750 Washtenaw Ave. 2747 South 11th St
(U.S. 23 at Exit 37-B) (U.S. 131 at Exit 36-B)
Ann Arbor, Michigan Kalamazoo, Michigan
R CEDER PINT
IRNG! A MU S EM E NT P AR K
G .N. 5006, Sandusky, OH 44870
Albert Terrace 1506 Geddes
Bring the order form you received in the mail, or the one below,
to CRISP with your SVF when you register. The charge of
$27.00 will be added to your student account in September.-
YES, ORDER ME A 1989 YEARBOOK
ALL CAMPUS YEARBOOK
Please return this order to CRISP with your SVF.
UAC / VIEWPOINT LECTURES PRESENTS
A Jewish survivor of the
externmination camp ._
and a former Nazi Youth
leader join together
to discuss the horrors/1
of Hitler's Germany.
In one of the most unique and controversial presentations in the
history of the lecture circuit, Helen Waterford and Alfons Heck
join together to recount World War 11 Germany under Hitler.
What was it like to face Dr. Josef Mengele in his barbarous life-and-
President and Mrs. Robben Fleming
cordially invite all students to an