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(1) Yuca Hung is trying to prod his roommate (2) Scott Gusakov off the couch. Scott's got a job interview in a half an hour, but the beer
went to his head, and he forgot. Sorry Scott; time to shave, ditch the pukas, and put on a tie. For a description of their clothes, see Page
25.
By Alan Paul
tress; it will kill you. But, hey, make no mistake
about it, there are ways of staying one step ahead of
the dreaded stress. Students can find the damndest
ways to escape the pressures of academe and, in
fact, of twentieth century life.
Sometimes, we're pretty creative:
Long, slow walks through the arb, playing an instrument
and blowing away your blues or serenading yourself to relax-
ation. Some paint or draw to escape the stress, losing them-
selves in the new worlds they create. This is also the manner
in which writers turn stress into a positive force, molding art
out of pressure.
But we can't always be creative. Not all of us anyhow. No,
sometimes we have to turn to a more conventional, yes,
lamer, and certainly more blatantly relaxing, way of relieving
stress. We have to break down, we lose control, we have to do
it... we become couch potatoes.
And it's not an easy life. Roommates scream: "Get the hell
up you couch potato!" Mothers and fathers harangue you, sig-
nifigant others moan, and roommates cry some more -
"they've moved their damn room out onto the couch. We can't
even watch TV."
Yes, to be sure the couch potato is a much maligned being.
But a true couch potato doesn't care. Not evep a little bit.
They may nod their heads at your complaints or seem to ac-
knowledge or understand your concerned warnings, but they
don't really care.
Now, the couch potato has a certain fashion style. Not that
it's conscious or intentional in any way but, hey, it is there.
One can't ever look too neat; not because they care but because
it would simply be too much trouble. It would cause too much
stress. They'd even have to rise off the couch!
Now, couch potatoing can be a great way to beat stress.
After all, you can't be stressed out if you don't give a damn.
But this is a solution which can also cause problems. If one
gets too couch potatoed out, floats too far off into orbit,
they're likely to forget something - something important,
something that they really have to do. And this can only add
to their stress.
Here, we see our couch potato being riled out of a deeply
cynical, alcohol induced existential ennui by his intrepid
roommate. It seems he forgot an important job interview. Yes,
we're talking job here, we're talking, if this guy doesn't rouse
himself out of his deep state of spud headedness, he's going to
be lounging on the YMCA couch next year.
But have no fear dear readers, for our couch potato is no
usual slob. He's sharp as a whip and before you can say
"Gomer Pyle" three times, he's shaved, changed, and made it
to his interview.i
PAGE 16
* WFfEM~DIMvAkCH'25;1988
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