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The best of Off the

Wall

Time and time again our readers
have told us that this is the best part
of the magazine. So, here are some
of the best of the best. Enjoy:
Fleming can take his code and shove
it up his ass!
- Grad Library

This is my last
scared shitless.

semester, and I'm
- Grad Library

You look really stupid when you're
trying to stay awake.
(in response)
BUT I'D LOOK EVEN M O R E
STUPID IF I WERE ASLEEP.
- Angell Hall
How many Spartans does it take to
screw in a light bulb?
(in response)
TWO - AND THEY GET FOURI
CREDITS FOR IT.i
- Angell Hall;
I'm glad you made it to class. Your
notes make lecture more interesting.
(in response)
ANYTHING WOULD MAKE THIS
LECTURE MORE INTERESTING.
- Grad Library
No! No! Don't wash me off! I can't
stand it! Noooo...
- Angell Hall

U.S. out of America

GET IT!
The Personal Column
MICHIGAN DAILY CLASSIFIED ADS

Dokken - #1 rockers in the world.
(in response)
AND THEY CALL ANN ARBOR A
"CULTURAL MECCA."

- Angell Hall
- Grad Library

You are so smart and have so much
potential, but get a fucking life!
-Grad Library
It takes more than long arms to reach
for the stars.
- Grad Library

Money may not buy happiness, but
it will buy you that kind of misery
you'd prefer.
-Nat Sci,
I feel nude without graffiti.
(in response)
I FEEL GRAFFITI IN THE NUDE.
- Grad Library
Don't knock masterbation - It's sex
with some one I love.
- Grad Library

WORST PLAY: Loy Vaught vs. Purdue
With Purdue and Michigan playing for first place in the
Big Ten, Loy Vaught missed a 5-foot jump hook in the
final seconds that would have tied the game at 89.
RUNNER UP: Darrell Thompson's run
The Minnesota tailback broke a 98-yard jaunt against a
confused Wolverine defense. Michigan defenders stumbled
over each other as Thompson set a new Big Ten record for a
single rush.
BEST PERFORMANCE:
Jamie Morris in the Hall of Fame Bowl
Morris ended his Wolverine career in spectacular fashion,
rushing for 234 yards and three touchdowns against Ala-
bama. "We had such great offensive line blocking. But I just
put a few jigga-joos in there that Allen Jefferson don't
have," said Morris after the game, kidding his heir apparent
at tailback.
WORST PERFORMANCE:
Demetrius Brown vs. Michigan State
When somebody breaks a record held by the immortal
Stan Noskin, the Wolverines are in trouble. Brown broke
Noskin's record for interceptions in one game, tossing
seven.
RUNNER UP:
Gary Grant against North Carolina
Three-of-10 shooting and five turnovers for the General in
a performance that brought back memories of tournament
losses to Villanova and Iowa State. Better luck in the NBA
playoffs, Gary.
BEST TROPHY COLLECTION:
Pitcher Jim Abbot
This one-handed wonder has won the Sullivan Award
(best amateur athlete), the Golden Spikes Award (amateur
baseball player of the year), and practically everything else
except an Academy Award.
BEST FAN PARTICIPATION:
Michigan vs. Northwestern
This game was so boring that the fans decided to take it
upon themselves to create excitement. While the game
dragged on, the waves picked up. Fast ones, slow ones,
reverse ones, and double reverse ones. Even the players on
the-sidelines paid more attention to the crowd than the game.

FROM THE BEST OF ANN ARBOR ...
MICHIGAN THEATER

Frank Si atra
LaurenceHarvey
Janet Leigh

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PAGE il4 .WEEKENI lAPRIL 15, 1988 EE$P( ,3L5, 8


WEEKEI QlAP IL 15, 1?A 8-