The Michiaan Daily-Thursday. Aoril 14. 1988- Page 11
Will Lakers work Magic again?
By STEVE SCHLUSSEL
The snow is gone and the sun
worshippers have come out of hiding
to obtain that savage tan before May
even rolls around. Seems like a great
time to go out and invest your
money in a windsurfer or a new
bathing suit, right?
How about NBA playoff tickets?
Yep, it's that time of year when
hundreds of thousands of rabid fans
take time off from the rays to flock
to NBA arenas around the nation to
see their favorite teams in action as
they battle for the NBA champi-
onship. Unfortunately, if you want
to catch all the games, it's going to
cost you a lot of time and money.
That's right, all that cash you
could have spent on Coppertone and
frisbees will go toward playoff game
packages that could run the tab on
the Mastercard to around 500 bucks
if you're a Celtic or Laker fan.
Time too, you ask? Days and
days of it. If you're a real lunatic,
you'll spend May through June in
front of a TV. On the nights when
your team plays at home, you'll ac-
tually be at the arena where the tem-
perature gets into the 90s inside and
the smoke forms a haze at the top of
the dome.
Being the kind-hearted person that
I am, I have decided to spare you all
of the time that you'll waste with
lines, obnoxious fans, and biased
announcers (Tom Heinsohn, did you
cover the Slippery Rock-Shippens-
burg State battle this year?). How
am I going to do this? you wonder.
Easy, I already know what's go-
ing to happen.
The first round always has the
* biggest blowouts, so if you want to
enjoy that new hammock, this is the
THE SPORTING VIEWS
time to read the results in the morn-
ing paper.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
FIRST-ROUND MATCHUPS:
Boston (1) and Detroit (2) vs. ei-
ther Indiana or Washington or New
York or Philadelphia:
Two intriguing questions come
out here.
One: Can Charles Barkley rip on
the 76ers any worse than he already
has when his talentless team gets
mauled in four straight?
Two: Will sports nuts across the
nation collectively rejoice when the
Knicks get stomped?
Atlanta (3) vs. Cleveland (6):
One of the reasons to get some
use out of that new Wham-O
(Atlanta in five).
Chicago (4) vs. Milwaukee (5):
As Mars Blackmon says on the
Nike commercials, "Michael Jordan,
Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan."
The rest of the Bulls may as well
be Mr. Blackmons, because the
Chicagoans have finally drawn an
opponent that doesn't have the
power to combat Jordan's 60-point
playoff explosions (Chicago in six).
EASTERN CONFERENCE
SEMIFINALS AND FINALS:
Boston vs. Chicago:
Bill Walton comes off the bench
to shut down Celtic killer Dave
Corzine in the sixth game at the
Garden to lead Boston to a 4-2 series
win despite Jordan's 73.
Detroit vs. Atlanta:
Chuck (E. Cheese) Nevitt plays a
major role in shutting down Do-
minique, and Glenn Rivers shoots
29 percent from the field for the se-
ries as the Pistons coast, 4-1.
Can the Pistons wipe out the
nightmares of last year's collapse in
Boston? Will Mark Acres, Brad Lo-
haus, and Dirk Minnifield contribute
key minutes? Will Adrian Dantley
dive for the second loose ball of his
career (this time at the same time as
Rick Mahorn)?
No. No. No. Celtics in seven.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
FIRST-ROUND MATCHUPS:
Los Angeles Lakers (1) vs. San
Antonio (8):
If the Spurs were smart they
would have lost a few more games
so they could have received first pick
in the draft (via the lottery) and
drafted Danny Manning to go with
David Robinson (put on those
Vaurnet's and hit the beach). Lakers
in four.
Dallas (2) vs. Seattle (7):
The Mavs have whipped the
Sonics all season long (just like last
year). The Mavs will be going into
the playoffs on a tear and the Sonics
will be expected to do nothing (just
like last year). Upset (just like last
year)? Mavs in a walk, 4-1.
Denver (3) vs. Utah (6):
So, I haven't picked any upsets
and you're saying to yourself that
you could have made these picks.
Not this one, I'm afraid. Karl
(Mailman) Malone delivers in this
one. Utah in seven.
Portland (4) vs. Houston (5):
Akeem "The Dream" and Clyde
"The Glide" - ex-University of
Houston Phi Slamma Jamma mem-
bers - reunite for the only worth-
while first-round matchup.
Trailblazers in seven.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
SEMIFINALS AND FINALS:
Lakers vs. Portland:
I bet you didn't know that Port-
land is the only team to beat the
Lakers in a season series this year. I
bet you do know that that means
nothing when late May rolls around.
Lakers in six.
Dallas vs. Utah:
Dallas and Utah is a closer
matchup than the networks would
hope (they don't want to have to
show any of these games). The
teams will trade victories at home
until the climatic game seven. Steve
Alford, knowing that he has to put
on a good show for the Miami Heat,
sinks the winning basket as Bill
Wennington shows off his excel-
lence in towel waving to the scouts.
Mavs in seven.
Lakers vs. Dallas:
We'll see more shots of Jack
Nicholson and Tatum O'Neal-
McEnroe than we care too (even
though it will be more interesting
than the games). Lakers in six.
NBA FINALS:
Don't stop reading even though
the Lakers will repeat or Larry Bird's
book will appear on the bookshelves
just as he visits the White House.
Don't worry about Pat O'Brien
coming to you from that "familiar
place". Do worry about turning over
before you burn that backside be-
cause you've expended all of your
funds waiting for this. Lakers in
seven.
-Associated rress
The Atlanta Hawks will look to Dominique Wilkins (center) to dominate
the rest of the Eastern Conference teams.
President
.....United Farm Workers
::> Friday.
April 15, 1988
12:00 noon
Pendleton Room
Michigan Union
FREE
Presented by ,The University of Michigan King/Chavez/Parks Visiting Scholar
Program, the Office of Minori.ty fairs, and the School of Social Work,
RESERVE OFFICERS' TRAINING CORPS
WINTER * SPRING " SUMMER " FALL
STUDY FOR ONE YEAR OR LESS AT
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Several Colleges of Oxford Universityhave
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Past student evaluations available.
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(EO/AA)
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