Page 10-The Michigan Daily-Tuesday, November 3, 1987
THE SPORTING VIEWS
Lions need change ...
...start with the coach
By MICHAEL GILL
Remember those brooms? Not the ones for
Halloween - but the sacred "sports broom?"
Remember? They were last seen in Detroit, after the
Tigers swept the Blue Jays. Tiger fans were out in
force with their brooms-sweeping.
Well, they're needed again. Back in the Motor City.
Closets are being searched in Trenton, Birmingham,
The Detroit Lions need to be swept - starting
with the coach.
They need more than that. They need a new
coaching staff, and need new players too. In fact, they
need a new waterboy. Need. Need. Need.
WHY DO the Lions need a new coach? Look at
the past week before the blowout loss to the Broncos.
It's a script taken straight from George Steinbrenner's
-The team loses - but barely.
-The owner calls the team "lousy."
- A player, Jimmie Giles, walks out complaining of
a lack of playing time.
-Another player, Reggie Rogers, complains to the
media that he is unhappy with the treatment he receives
from his coaches. Then his sister vanishes.
-It is revealed that defensive coordinator Wayne
Fontes was arrested on charges of drunken driving and
-A lackluster 34-0 blowout.
Just a standard, run of the mill week. Get out those
SOMEONE IS going to yell general manager
Russ Thomas' name and say, "Broom him too." But
wait. This year Thomas is off the hook. He signed who
coach Darryl Rogers drafted. There were no significant
holdouts. He did his job. Someone is not molding the
Actually, for Detroit and its people, a bad coach is
not all that bad.
It can help the fans. Complacency won't set in.
Consider having semi-finalists in three sports with the
Tigers, Wings, and Pistons; two top-notch college
football programs; Thomas Hearns; arena football on
the way; and Miss America. Thank God the Lions
aren't good. Detroit's noses would be higher than the
AND A good coach? Nah. Too many of them are
around here too. Bo Schembechler is the second
coming, Jacques Demers inspires anyone just by
scratching his moustache, Chuck Daly outdresses GQ
models and Sparky... enough said. Rogers is a Gerry
Faust lookalike with a high pitch twang who the fans
need to kick around.
Another reason is that after attending church on
Sunday morning, people need to wash off the feel of
holiness. A Lions game is just the trick. A fumble, an
interception, and if that's not enough, an Eddie Murray
field goal attempt should get the "@#$**+@!$$@"
rolling and the feeling negated.
Finally, if it weren't for the Lions, our nation's
economy would stumble. Think of all the jobs lost due
to the lack of blooper footage.
BUT DO not waver. Despite all those reasons,
Detroiters need a new coach. Detroiters deep down
want another Bo, Jacques, Chuck or Sparky. Detroiters
want to attend church, then the Silverdome and let their
squeels of jubilee rise towards the heavens.:Detroiters
want 80,000 crammed in the Silverdome, national
television, Chuck Long long bombs, Thanksgiving
Day wins, playoff clinchers, Christmas season playoff
victories... and alas, a Superbowl championship. Thus,
they need a new coach.
So this is a call to arms. Detroiters ask not how
your football team can lose, but ask "Where is your
broom?" And once Rogers and his other stooges are
swept from the vicinity, begin to seek a new coach.
One with Bo's temper, Jacques' inspiration, Chuck's
dress, and Sparky's charisma all rolled into one.
Is there anyone like that out there? There may be
only one person who can coach the Lions - "The
Phantom," the person Wayne Fontes claims drove his
car into a ditch while he was in a drunken stupor.
"The Phantom" is our person. If "The Phantom"
can't do it, no one can,
Lion tight end Rob Rubick (84) fumbles a pass, a scene symbolic of Detroit's season.
Spikers spooked in two close
osses to Badgers and Wildcats
By MICHAEL SALINSKY extended the Wolverine losing streak Wiconsin's favor. "You don't wc
The Badgers got a major scare
Halloween night when the Michigan
volleyball team threatened to upset
favored Wisconsin. But the
Wolverines inability to hold leads in
three of the four games a n d
numerous fundamental errors -
especially in key situations -
resulted in a Wisconsin victory, 15-
13, 15-13, 13-15, 15-12.
Michigan squandered another
strong performance the previous
night, stretching a powerful
Northwestern squad to the full five
games before falling, 15-3, 10-15, 9-
15, 15-12, 15-3.
THE LOSSES drop
Michigan's record to 2-10 in the
conference, 19-14 overall, and
to six matches.
Michigan head coach Joyce Davis
questioned her role in Michigan's
dismal Big Ten record. "What we're
doing is not working," she said.
"We're going to have to reevaluate
some things." She specifically
commented on the coaching staff's
conservative substitution strategy in
the middle of games and the players'
apparent lack of "finishing power."
This failure was especially
evident against Wisconsin. The
Wolverines gave up a 7-4 lead in the
first game and an 8-1 advantage in
the second to fall behind two games.
BOTH TEAMS were frustrated
with the officiating in the close
match that ended in a disputed call in
to win that way," said Wisconsin
head coach Steve Lowe, "But it's
better than being on the losing side."
Tracy Tiffany, a senior from
Richland, Mich., led the Badgers
with 14 kills and seven blocks.
"Tracy really wanted this match,"
said Lowe, emphasizing Tiffany's
Marie Ann Davidson turned in
strong performances for Michigan
both nights. She tallied 13 kills
against Wisconsin and a .500 attack
percentage on 19 more kills against
The Wildcats, tied for second-
place in the Big Ten, dominated the
first and last games with .348 and
.473 attack percentages, respectively.
Get your Senior Portrait for the
Yearbook taken today.
WHERE: West Quad, 2nd floor - Wedge Room
WHEN: Monday - Friday 8:30-5:30
HOW: Just bring the $3.00 sitting fee
ONLY one week left
Please set aside a copy of the 1988
Michipa Ensian for me for the
low price of $26.00. Please bill this
purchase to my student account.
My copy will be ready for pickup
at the Ensian office, Student.Publications
Bldg., 420 Maynard St.,
Ann Arbor, in Mid-April, 1988.
I will receive a confirmation of
my order. I must pick up my book
no later than December 31, 1988.
1E+KTC'T A KT
I (Please Print)