The Michigan Daily-Wednesday, October 21, 1987- Page 11

I


K

THE SPORTING VIEWS

By DAVID WEBSTER
I remember playing baseball as a little kid.
Coming home in a cloud of dust, like Pigpen, with
dirt in my ears, up my nose, and caked into my 12-
year-old grin.
My clothes were always covered with huge dark
green stains from diving across the outfield grass
with the recklessness of Freddy Lynn. I used to
look forward to getting my uniform grungy and
grassy in those days. It was one of the best parts of
being a mindless Little Leaguer.
Watching the World Series this year is kind of
disheartening. I don't mean to show any disrespect
toward either the Twins or the Cardinals. They're
both excellent teams and deserve to be where they
are.
BUT THE stadiums those two teams play in
are disgusting. Both the Metrodome and Busch
Stadium remind me of gigantic cement toilets with
green plastic stretched across the bottom of the
hopper. The only difference is someone left the lid
down on the Metrodome.
I'm especially surprised that the Cardinals
continue to play on artificial turf. Poor Vince
Coleman was almost swallowed alive by the carpet
rolling machine at Busch Stadium a couple of years
ago. If the Cardinals played on natural grass all
Coleman would have to worry about would be the
lawn mowers. Even a dog has enough sense to stay
out the way of a lawn mower.
The Metrodome really freaks me out too. A pop
fly that lands in the man-made outfield there
bounces 30 feet back into the air before it's
playable. I'd love to know what they were thinking

Artificial baseball...
...bring back grass
about when they built that place.
Baseball was meant to be an outdoor sport and it
should be played under natural conditions, with real
grass and plenty of dirt. I bet old Abner Doubleday
would barf if he knew that people are playing his
game on plastic fields.
ARTIFICIAL TURF takes all the fun out of
baseball. No longer do we see outfielders in pursuit
of fly balls, falling on their butts because of soggy
grass. Most players won't even dive for a ball if
they're playing on a carpet because they're afraid of
the sandpaper-like effect artificial turf has on the
flesh.
Another thing which is sad is that there are only
a few parks left with that classic message stenciled
on the wall behind home plate, "No pepper on the
grass." It took me years to figure out what that
meant, and now it's practically a meaningless term.
Artificial turf even caused the demise of the
infield dirt. All that remains is a silly little patch of
loam around each base that looks more like a kitty
litter box than a basepath.
Did you know they perform a little operation on
artificial turf every few years that's similar to the
facelifts that wrinkled old women get? That's
nauseating.
Baseball should be played on natural grass with
real dirt infields. Now that I think about it, I guess
the Giants and the Tigers could have provided us
with a better World Series.
Candlestick Park and Tiger Stadium are two of
the classiest ball parks in the country. They're
relics from a time when baseball was real and so
was the grass.

/ 4 tull court
PRESS

Billyball to return to Bronx Zoo

Tarpley's lines...
-not the same

By ADAM SCHEFTER
Last Thursday, you may have read
an article in this newspaper written
by this very reporter on ex-Michigan
basketball player Roy Tarpley. I had
reported on Tarpley's progress in
overcoming his "personal
problems."
Drugs and alcohol, he claimed,
would no longer serve as an
impediment to his basketball career.
"That's history," the Dallas
Maverick forward told me just last
week. "That's all behind me. All in
the past. It was just one incident
that's been taken care of. That's the
last of it. The last time anyone will
ever hear anything like that about
Tarpley."
IN TALKING with him over
the telephone, I couldn't help feeling
happy knowing that someone had
learned their lesson about the damage
drugs can cause. Tarpley appeared to
be back on the road leading to
success.
Somewhere along that road,
however, he made a wrong turn
again. He certainly had me fooled
with his words.
This past Monday, Tarpley
announced that he had been having
problems with aftercare for his
cocaine and alcohol dependency. His
relapse had caused him to be late for
his exhibition game this past
Sunday against the Boston Celtics.
NORMALLY, I might say that
this is an unfortunate occurrence, or
reoccurrence for that matter, but it's
not. The truth had finally come out,
Roy Tarpley is not mature or smart
enough to "say no to drugs."
Since Tarpley misled me and
consequently I misled my readers, it
is my obligation to set the record
straight.
This is a man that leads an easier
lifestyle than Ferris Bueller. Tarpley
goes to bed late, wakes up late, goes
to basketball practice, shoots a little,
runs a little, and starts the same
routine all over again the next day.
FULL PRIVILEGE
ADULT NAUTILUS
CLUB MEMBERSHIP
ONLY $75.00 DOWN AND
$20.00 A MONTH.
ANN ARBOR 'Y'
350 S. FIFTH AVE.
663-0536

And he gets paid hundreds of
thousands of dollars.
When I tried to get in touch with
him last week, I reached him at his
hotel room at 4:30 in the afternoon.
Needless to say, I had woke him up.
GEE ROY, I really should
apologize to you for getting you out
of bed at such an early hour. After
R4
''
Tarpley
... back in the fast lane
all, there are millions of people out
there in the real world who have
already been working long hard
hours. They have been sweating and
breaking their backs just to make
sure they have food on their table
and a roof over their heads.
Go back to sleep and catch up on
your zzzzzz's. You probably had a

real rough evening last night and are
feeling the effects of it now. Real
sorry to bother you.
Tarpley has no idea how easy his
life is. If he knew the value of
money and hard work, I don't think
that he would be so fast to "blow" a
couple of thousand dollars on
polluting his nose.
And if he doesn't realize this,
maybe he should pay attention to
other athletes who have had a history
of drug use. Many talented careers
have been washed away. But I guess
Tarpley figures he's smarter than
Michael Ray Richardson, stronger
than Steve Howe, and more
immortal than the mortal Len Bias.
Instead of smelling the chemicals,;
smell the coffee.
Maverick vice president Rick
Sund said Monday that he will let
Tarpley remain with the team. With
this chance, Tarpley will be able to
stay in his own little Disney world,
go on rides to other parts of the
country, eat goodies with his
teammates, and never grow up -
just like Peter Pan.
I say throw Tarpley out on the
street and let him fend for himself.
I'll be glad to write a factual story
when he'll have no choice but to be
honest.

Michigan Daily
SPORTS
763-0376

NEW YORK (AP) - Billy
Martin said he wants to revitalize the
radition of the New York Yankees
as baseball champions in his fifth
term as the team's manager.
Martin told WCBS-TV on
yesterday that he "will try to give
the Yankee fans what they really
deserve - Yankee pride, Yankee
desire, the Yankees winning again."
In his first interview since
replacing Lou Pinella as manager on
Monday, Martin said he will have no
trouble working with Pinella, now
the general manager, and owner
George Steinbrenner.
"Lou has been sensational,
everybody has been great," Martin
said. "I think he feels like I did when
he took over for me. Lou is happy
for me.
"George and I and Lou and Gene
Michael will sit down and put it all
GRIDDE PICKS
A rumor has been circulating
that Reverend Jim Bakker will return
to the helm of the PTL club. But
this comeback received a major
setback yesterday when it was
learned that Bakker's affair with
Jessica Hahn included something
other than sex - Griddes.
Bakker, a secret Griddes
player, supposedly went to Hahn
y during his last losing streak. "I was
lonely and hadn't won in a long
time," Bakker confessed in a press
conference yesterday, "I needed to let
loose emotionally and Jessie (Hahn)
"was just a phone call away."
Reverend Jerry Falwell, who
recently stepped down as interim
president of the PTL, was appalled.
"If Jim had gone to Jessica for pure
unadulterated sex, that's fine. We can
forgive him for that. But he went to
oher for Griddes, that's inexcuseable."
Bakker confessed that he not
only went to Hahn for sexual favors,
but for help in his Griddes picks as
well. "One week I lost solely
because Jessie told me to bet against
Slippery Rock."
Hahn, however, flatly denied
that allegation, claiming. "I am not
a bimbo," said Hahn. "I would never
bet against Slippery Rock." Until
now, no one knew Hahn's famous "I
am not a bimbo" quote referred to
Griddes.
Play Griddes along with Jim
and Jessica. Turn in your picks by 5
p.m. Friday at the Student
Publications Building, and you could
receive the divine gift of a $10
Domino's gift certificate.
1. MICHIGAN at Indiana
(pick total points)
2. Purdue at Iowa
3. Minnesota at Ohio State
4. Illinois at Michigan State
5. N'western at Wisconsin
6. Colorado at Oklahoma
7. N.C. State at Clemson

together."
Martin said he wasn't worried
about his past run-ins w i t h
Steinbrenner, or the fact he has been
dismissed four times as the team's
manager.
"I loved my mother but I never
always agreed with her," Martin said.
"It's the same way with George. He
and I care about one thing, the
Yankees. That's the bottom line."
Martin is the Yankees' 1 5 t h
manager since Steinbrenner bought
them from CBS in 1973. Martin's
terms as manager were from August
2, 1975 to July 24, 1978; July 18-
October 29; January 11-December 4,
1983, and April 28-October 27,
1985.
Steinbrenner's decision to rehire
Martin had been expected since last
week.

HEALTH &FITNESS.,
H a ppening
Recreational Sports
THE TURKEYS ARE COMING!!!
THE TURKEYS ARE COMING!!!
THE INTRAMURAL SPORTS PROGRAM
PRESENTS THE
3rd ANNUAL TURKEY TROT
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 14,1987
Get in shape and join us - Win a turkey!
Open to the total campus community
ENTRIES DUE: THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 12,1987
IMSB/CCR B/NCRB

Martin
... back again


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