The Michigan Daily-Thursday, October 1, 1987-- Page9 NFL owners bring back USFL So you thought the USFL was dead forever. Well, you couldn't have been more wrong. Football fans will be happy to know that the "other league" is alive and kicking, and ready to resume play this weekend at a stadium near you. The only difference is that this time around the league is being formed and financed by the same people who ran the old USFL out of town - the.NFL owners. Although these owners will be putting out players wearing NFL uniforms and competing in NFL cities, don't be fooled. This is the beginning of the new look USFL- the United Scabs Football League. Ok, so the talent level may be lower than in the NFL, but who cares? Let the union players strike. Football is back. What? You don't want to watch this new league? Come on, give the guys a chance. Las Vegas and the television networks are. The oddsmakers have set the lines for this week's games and the networks will broadcast them. You may be wondering how Las Vegas can determine the odds on these unknown teams. Apparently, the experts have analyzed the talent and have come up with the new elite teams in the USFL. B r e n t Musburger of CBS told us on Sunday that the best teams were the Los Angeles Raiders, San Francisco, and Green Bay. Yes, it seems that the Pack is back. Don't count out Detroit, though. This new team could turn out to be pretty good. After all, they couldn't be any worse. The Lions are favorites to win this week with the replacement players and hey, the "real" Lions weren't favored in either of their first two games. Also, take a look at the one of the Lions' new quarterbacks, Brdnden Folmar. He was a star in the Arena Football League with the Pittsburgh Gladiators and even threw a touchdown pass the entire length of the field. And just think, he's not even good enough to start for the "new" Lions. Now, when was the last time you saw Chuck Long throw a pass from one endzone to the other? So you're starting to see that this may not be that bad, eh? Just wait, it gets better. The best thing about the USFL is that if the play ever gets boring, you Golden Words BY GREG MOLZON can still be entertained by the off- the-field action. Remember, sports is an entertainment business and the union players have been entertaining us with their hilarious actions for the past nine days. Take the case of Charles Martin. Remember him? The last time we saw the former Green Bay Packer, he was throwing down Jim McMahon about - oh, five days after he threw a pass. Now, Martin has shown he has a flair for comedy that rivals Eddie Murphy. The defensive lineman was cut by the Packers right before the strike, picked up by the Houston Oilers, and decided to picket with his old Packer teammates. Never one to miss out on any action, Martin was arrested for throwing an egg at a car carrying USFLers. And what was his excuse? He said that he "dropped the egg." Heck, this guy shouldn't be in the NFL. With lines like that one, he has a future in comedy. And how about the Kansas City Chief players who drove up in a pickup truck waving shotguns. Or their teammates who tackled a team scout, Otis Taylor, and wrestled him to the ground because he was bringing a strike breaker across the picket line. Hey, this stuff 'is better than the World Wrestling Federation. Don't forget union chief Gene Upshaw and the big deal he made out of his mystery man who supposedly was going to step in and stop the strike. Surprise, surprise - the "mystery man" turned out to be NFL commissioner Pete Rozelle. Geez, Upshaw fooled us all with that one. And if all this isn't enough, just wait until this weekend. The union has promised to cause disturbances and problems around the stadiums, where the USFL games will be- played. Wow, betcha can't wait to see what happens then. This is going to be great! So cheer up sports fans, this strike could turn out to be pretty entertaining. Maybe they'll even decide to have one every year. And if you miss the exploits of the real superstar athletes, don't fret, the NBA will be starting before tdo long. What's that, the NBA's players may be going on strike too? Oh my;' does that mean the NBA will have to' change its name to the USBL? Rwut awl Ube D0i4 Cfa66iied :* Lt -Associated Press Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Dino Hackett (standing) tugs on the shirt of teammate Jack DelRio during a scuffle between DelRio and Chiefs scout Otis Taylor. The fight erupted when DelRio accused Taylor of bringing a replacement player into the stadium. Epkrs stunned win .EM(J come back i By PETER ZELLEN The Michigan volleyball team arrived in Ypsilanti Tuesday hoping its match against Eastern Michigan would give, it a good workout in preperation for another weekend of Big Ten competition. What it came; back with was a mind-boggling loss. The Wolverines won the first two games, 15-12 and 15-6 and led the third game, 9-0. Then t h e unexplicable happened. The Hurons won the match. They came back to win the third game, 15-12, and proceeded to win the last two, 15-3 and 15-4. "It was an ugly and extremely poor performance," said Michigan head coai~ Joyce Davis. Neither team played particularly well, but we were the ones who created every situation and couldn't capitalize on them." It was a nightmare statistically for the Wolverines. They combined for 31 hitting errors, 14 service errors, and 15 receiving errors. The team also compiled a .170 hitting percentage. It was the first time this season that Michigan was under .200 in a match. Despite the loss, Davis tried to find a silver lining within the murky defeat. "I'm not going to waste energy on what's behind us," she said. "We've got to concentrate on what's ahead. It was a non-conference game so all it means is an L' in the column. But we better not ever do this again." . Aerobic Dance . Ballroom Dance . Bartending . Beer Appreciation and Home Brewing . CPR Financial Planning . Fitness/ Weight Control . Mystical Magic . Massage .Sailing . Sign Language . Speed Reading .Study Skills . The Art of Reading Tarot Cards Pool .Vegetarian Cooking . Winetasting . Yoga . Meditation and Yoga Philosophy n a h # h S, 1 i 'jib s, s La . Registration begins Monday, September 21 through Friday, October 2 at the Michigan Union Ticket Office For more info, call 763-11071 T t ~A LOOKING FOR A PART-TIME JOB THAT'S FUN? I 4 1 1 " f rr V41= 1 @ Photographers Wanted! " Weekends and other special events " Work experience necessary " Own equipment " Excellent wages Please apply M-F between 10-5:30 at 1209 South University 769-6233 Michigan Balfour House. ------------------ 87-P088 ECONOMICS MADE EASY! U T IAINCR BRING YOUR STUDENT I.D. TO DUNHAM'S WHERE IT'S WORTH AN ADDITIONAL 10% OFF OUR ALREADY LOW DISCOUNT PRICES ON NAME BRAND APPAREL AND ATHLETIC FOOTWEAR! JUST BRING THIS AD ALONG WITH A VALID U of M STUDENT I.D. 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