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September 25, 1987 - Image 19

Resource type:
The Michigan Daily, 1987-09-25
This is a tabloid page

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.



v V





Summer predictions go awry



I am a regular reader of the
Weekly World News, the reigning
king of the tabloids, still willing to
print headlines like "MONKEY
HEADED BABY!" Last March
the News presented incredibly gifted
Hungarian clairvoyant Countess
Sophia Sabak's predictions for
summer. I saved the issue.
Sophia didn't do too well. The
FBI, as far as I know, did not arrest
the ringleaders of a kidnapping
network in July, releasing 100
missing children. Nor did
housewives go on strike until
President Reagan issued a national
proclamation praising t h e
contributions of overworked
women. A few beloved movie stars
did disappear, but none of them
returned to explain that they had
been kidnapped by UFO's.
The junk-food diet craze didn't
sweep the country any more than it
already has, largely because
nutritionists didn't discover the
people who eat nothing but Big
Macs lose weight, so one can still
eat at the Golden Arches without
making reservations.
Young people didn't give up
dating because of AIDS. The hit
Destroy the state? Don't forget
the culture.
-main entrace to East Quad

summer-replacement series was not
about a family of Yuppified former
circus midgets. Liz Taylor has not
given up show business to become
a dietician at the Betty Ford clinic.
The Detroit Lions did not sign a
female track star to become
football's first woman player, but it
probably would have helped if they
Death in the form of a
devastating earthquake did not
rumble across southern Indiana. A
famous Jewish actress wasn't
charged with murdering an ex-Nazi
by planting a bomb in his Los
Angeles mansion. Peruvian
explorers did not catch a mother and
infant Bigfoot, "proving once and
for all that the legendary creatures
really do roam the earth."
Dr. Ruth Westheimer did not
"explode on the big screen and
become Tinseltown's sex symbol
munchkin." Dr. Ruth is probably

pretty relieved. I didn't notice any
Soviet scientists defecting and
revealing that the Russkies have
been communicating with extra-
terrestrial life-forms for the past
decade. No luxury liners sank in the
Caribbean and no lives were saved
by quick-thinking crewmen. Frank
Sinatra probably didn't hire a ghost
writer to write a tell-all book about
biographer Kitty Kelley.
No major department stores are
selling medically-approved body
parts. A riot was not averted at a
rock concert near Reston, Virginia
because the ghost of Elvis returned
to quiet the crowd of 80,000. A
rotting satchel containing shocking
new evidence about the Kennedy
assassination wasn't discovered.
New muscle building drugs
aren't turning parakeets into turkey-
sized monsters. The hottest hit
song this summer wasn't "Bamboo
Boogieman" by the unknown
Chinese group Fried Rice. Meryl
Streep has not signed to play Vanna
White in the movie "I Vanna" based
on White's second smash
autobiography. Surveys of the
Titanic have not revealed that the
ship was torpedoed by an alien
See LOGIE, p. 9

By Daniel Rosenberg
"Has anyone ever told you that
you have the face of a Boticelli and
the body of a Degas?"
That was Robert Downey's
favorite pick-up line in The
Pick-Up Artist. It worked on
Molly Ringwald, as Downey had
her in bed within five minutes after
first running into her.
I thought to myself, this is all
wrong. Any reasonably mature
person would see this crap for what
it is, and not take Downey
seriously, as the women in the film
did. This means that only kids
should be entertained by this film.
But in the age of AIDS, pick-ups
aimed at sex don't seem like they
should be the gist of a film geared
towards adolescants.
Then I thought, maybe we
"mature" people are gullible enough
to fall for that sort of routine.
Downey tried this at least ten times
in the film, and it worked nine. I
thought, real people aren't dumb
enough to fall for that BS, or are
they? I decided to give it a try.
I approached a beautiful woman

and said, "Has anyone ever told
that you are an incredibly attra
woman?" and followed with, "
people ought to say it more of
Lo and behold, it worked.
bought it. She was probably ca
off-balance as I would have be
quickly changed my opinion on
aspect of the film. The Pick
Artist may indeed serve a
educational piece on the cu
singles scene, and can double
guide on how to pick up mem
of the opposite sex.
However, I would
recommend using the line a
Boticelli, as all three wo
laughed in my face after hearin
In any case, perceptive ins
on today's single scene cannot
together an overwhelminglyl
film. This has been advertise
Molly Ringwald's graduation
the "Brat-Pack." But is playii
19-year-old forced to decide wh
or not to go out witt
hunk-of-a-guy who can solve
financial problems any diffe
from Pretty in Pink? I don't t
Despite this, Molly Ring

up, but the audience is
you m
ctive a
well, fl
ten." un
She y fo
ught de
en. Ij ak,
s an thi
as a
ibers cli
n o t .4the
men the
g it. pla
ights Th
hold to
ed as ; m
ing a tha
ethers ha
Sher to
Brent s de
hink .
Molly Ringwald fails again to escape the young adult romance films fat
;wald stif



Boogie woogie blues piano player
from the legends, gaining national


Boogie woogie piano player Mark "Mr. B." Braun, has been a local
sensation for years. Braun has lived in Ann Arbor since 1975, and
before that, he made weekly trips to hear his first mentor Boogie
Woogie Red play Monday nights at the Blind Pig. Later, Braun began
making regular visits to Chicago where he got to know and learn from
several of his musical idols. Now gaining national prominence (his
1986 LP "Shining the Pearls" won the National blues Awards' Best
Radio Album award), Braun returns to Ann Arbor tomorrow night. Mr.
B. will play two shows at the Ark, 637 1/2 Main St., at 7:30 and 10
p.m. He spoke recently with WEEKEND Editor Alan Paul
D: How long's it been that you've been going on the road insteasd
of playing around here all the time?
B:.Starting in about January of '86....that's when I started really
going around. I'd been to Europe before that, starting in '85.
D: Did you find it hard going out on your own, after being more of a
familiar name around here?
B: Yeah, sometimes but it's double edged sword because some jobs,
when you're not known at all, you might not get a very good turnout
or, if you do, people aren't necassarly real excited to see you because
they may not have heard of you or heard anything about you. And that
can work out great-no expectations-but sometimes it doesn't. But
the other end of that, if you go to a place where you are well known but
you don't get there too often, they're happy to have you come. I don't
have too many places like that so it's real nice to get back to the Ark.
D: You must like that. It's quite a bit different than playing in a
noisy bar.
B: Yeah, it's real different. People are really listening and plus
they've got a real nice piano. It's more of a concert type situation.
When I tour I wouldn't want to do all concert things. I do like to get in
a bar and have it be sort of funky or whatever but I don't miss that
when I'm at the Ark.
D: Do you know that the Blind Pig, after next month, is no longer
going to book national acts?
B: No, I didn't know that....That's terrible. Ann Arbor, just not a
very long time ago had a lot of places to play and a lot of people
coming through town. No, there's very few. And if that goes down,
what the hell is there as far as bars?...that's why I just count my lucky
stars that there is a place like the Ark. Most musicians have exactly the
opposite thing. Their best gigs are when they're away from home
because'they're underappreciated or there's not a venue. But for me it's
the opposite. I don't play in town too much now, maybe just two or
three times a year.

Beer rules!
Toronto rules!
There are no rules! @

-Angell Hall

Is there really a physical world?
-The metaphyicist
For answer, bang your head here.
-The empiricist
-Angell Hall

7 NHoo 60Y...
Ob b
,,--NAP60FM W hoNAo&
5AWS&AX S't L? tN ?CXG AI,

Your mother should have said no..

Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana
-Angell Hall
Where have all the prophets gone/
We're just waiting for a deserving
flock. (I've been in seclusion
since Hendrix died.)
-Angell Hall






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