4 Page 12 -The Michigan Daily-Wednesday, September 23, 1987 Miller Time BY SCOTT G. MILLER Ban Long Beach State Collusion. It's spreading. There's no other way to explain the comments about this weekend's football opponent Long Beach State. Wolverine coaches, players, and boosters must have taken lessons from Major League Baseball owners. People associated with the Michigan program just won't say anything bad about the 49ers. Here's a sample. "Washington State was a pretty good team, and Long Beach State is not as good as Washington State," said Michigan head coach Bo Schembechler. "I'm not going to say we're playing another Notre Dame. But they're on the schedule. The officials are hired...." "We're just trying to get better every week and go out and destroy the opponent," said wide receiver Greg McMurtry. "This week is a bigger mental challenge than other games," said linebacker J.J. Grant. "Anybody can beat anybody in college football. Look what Miami of Ohio did to LSU last year." "We can't take Long Beach State lightly at all," said defensive back Erik Campbell. "I would like to have Michigan play a schedule like Notre Dame every year," said Gerry Zonca, the president of the UM Booster Club of Detroit. "But a contest is a contest. It's nice Long Beach State has a fairy tale chance to try to beat a perennial power. "Goliath always better be ready to take on David." Enough. Stop the civility. David vs. Goliath? This game is worse. After careful consultation with California's own Inspector Joe Friday, here's the real story. Just the facts. Long Beach State's athletic department almost went bankrupt last year. Had it not been for an Oral Robert's type campaign - donate or we die (or fold in this case) - Saturday's game may have never occurred. Long Beach State is an awful football team. The 49ers of the PCAA lost to Cal State Fullerton, 31-12, last week for their first defeat of the season. Long Beach State had beaten Division I-AA schools Montana State and Weber State to start this year. The 49ers have played in front of 16, 634 fans so far this season. That number is the total from two home games and one away contest. More Michigan fans stand in line waiting to use a port-o-john during one game. Long Beach State is the worst football team Michigan has faced since it beat Central St. Teachers THE GAME. SLong Beach State at Michiganx Michigan football and treat games as social gatherings, they won't start laughing until Saturday when they check their ticket books. Someone offered a scalper $50 and two Long Beach State tickets for a pair of Iowa seats last weekend. The scalper refused the offer. "Long Beach State, that just shouldn't be allowed," he said. Amen. Letterman's top ten Here's the projected David Letterman top ten reasons why Michigan is a sure bet this weekend. 1) The 49ers are the type of team Northwestern plays on homecoming. 2) The 49ers get their name from the average amount of points the opposition scores on them. 3) The number 49 also represents the number of injuries Long Beach State expects to sustain against Michigan. 4) The 49ers won't have enough 4 money to get to the game. The team bus will break down in Nevada. 5) The 49ers may look past Michigan to next week's nationally televised matchup on ESPN against Fresno State. - 6) The 49ers football training table consists of tofu, seaweed, and California wine coolers. 7) The most popular major at Long Beach State is surfboard management and maintenance. 8) The most popular class at LongaBeach State is sunscreen application and use. 9) Long Beach State is playing Michigan so they will appear in Griddes this week. 10) Long Beach State is only coming to Ann Arbor so they can see the Beach Boys concert on October 17 at Crisler Arena. College, 27-0, in 1931. The point spread for Saturday's game is 35. 5 points. The contest is such a mismatch that no sane bookie will take a bet on the game. Maybe the only honest opinion that can be found on campus is from ticket scalpers if you can find any. Since students don't really care about --\ The 149 ~ Sportster modem. tbrings your school's maifrae computer into Your room. 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Negotiations are to resume today in Philadelphia. John Jones, a spokesman for the NFL Management Council, said the owners' regular bargaining team would be joined by two members of the council's executive committee - Tex Schramm of the Cowboys and Dan Rooney of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Rooney was instrumental in negotiating the agreement that ended the 57-day strike in 1982. Day one of the strike began with almost universal union solidarity and almost universal griping from both sides. Hogeboom and Wilson broke ranks along with some players on injured reserve. Greg Aiello, a Cowboys spokesperson, said he expected White to report to camp today along with Don Smerek, another defensive lineman. "Apparently both sides are stupid enough to get into this situation," said Keith Fahnhorst, San Francisco's player representative, after the 49ers, despite some dissenting votes, agreed to walk out en masse. Ron Wooten of the New England Patroits, a former assistant player representative, was equally impatient. "If Upshaw can't get it resolved in a hurry, we want -omeone else who can," he said. "Gene's not getting paid just to paint the offices in Washington." The union announced it had filed an unfair labor practice charge against the league with the National Labor Relations Board. Two weeks ago, the league did the.same against the union. WE RENT TO 19 YR. OLD STUDENTS! * Choose from small economical cars to fine luxury cars. * Special weekend rates. * Pick up services upon request. * We accept cash deposits. Sunday's games were still officially scheduled, but the league said it probably would call them off. The television networks were scrambling to find alternate programming with CBS announcing it will show a replay of the last Super Bowl, the New York Giants', 39-20, victory over Denver. 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