Volleyball
vs. Michigan State University
Today, 7:00
IM Building
The Michigan Daily

SPORTS
Wednesday, October 29, 1986

Cross Country
Big TenChampionships
Saturday
Columbus, Ohio
Page 9

'Mets

win; U'

must live with the

fans

A horrible thing happened
Monday night.
A fate worse than death.
My worst nightmare has become
a reality.
THE METS won the World
Series.
No,Saiam not a Boston Red Sox
fan. I follow the Red Sox with all
the enthusiam of getting a tetanus
shot. I just wished for anyone,
anyone, but "da Mets" to win.
The Mets have managed to do in
a couple of years what it took the
Yankees decades. The entire United
States hates them.
The fact that New York won the
World Series, in itself, is not
horrific. They had a great season
and deserved to win as much as
anyone. It doesn't bother me that
they are arrogant, fist-waving,

holier-than-thou. Ai
personality of the teamn
imbued with anything
They have just as many d
and egomaniacs as any oth
IT'S JUST those fans
It used to be different.
like the Mets with
paternalism. Between p
New York was a classic
baseball ineptitude. I al
good baseball ineptitude
Cubs fan.
My apathy towards t
changed when Icame to A
about the same time t
began winning.
THE UNIVERS
Michigan is, if you haven'
abound with New Yorkers;
Islanders, and, therefore, M
There are two reasons1

nd the
n is not MARK MY
unusual.
rug usersI
er team.
s.
I usd tod might not have noticed this:
a fnts 1. You are tone deaf.
etdy i, 2. You are completely deaf.
studyin NEW YORKERS, if you
pp ec haven't noticed, have some inherent
I am a penchant for being bothersome, and
being persistent at it. Again, there
.he Mets are two reasons why you might not
nhe Mets of noticed this:
1. You are either tone deaf or
completely deaf.
IT Y of 2. You are from New York.
t noticed, THE METS fans have made
and Long life intolerable for anyone whose
4ets fans. origins are west of Hakensack.
why you Mets fans are no more secure about
themselves than anyone else in the
world. They just happen to use
their teams to hide such insecurity,
laying it out on the rest of us.
e at I am told by New Yorkers that
they are the greatest fans on earth. I
also recall a story of a Mets fan
watching a televised game. An
a at opposing batter hit the ball between
first baseman Keith Hernandez's
Wake legs. "F---in' coke addict!!!" the
Mets fan screamed.
in at Yup. The best fans in the world.
I WAS initally concerned that I
rbana would recieve abuse for this
3ELS column. Given recent history at

Shea Stadium, retaliation is likely
to come in the form of either 1)
someone throwing golf balls at me;
2) someone lighting a smoke bomb
in my room; 3) death threats; 4)
having a parade in my honor and
mug me; or 5) being forced to
watch the Mets video. The last is
too horrible to comprehend.
The others do not bother me.
Coming from a Mets fan, I consider
getting Top-Flights chucked at my
skull high praise for my character.
As far as a death threat, I like the
pleasant nasal pitch of a telephone
caller who says,"Youse lowsy
scum. Youse goin' to wish youse
hadn't said nothin."'
As far as a letter is concerned, I
do not fear, because it's doubtful
that Mets fans can read or write.
After all, the Mets' motto is
"Baseball like it oughta be." I'm
sure that they read Hamlet between
innings, too.
THERE ARE several
solutions to end this problem. My
favorite is to adminster frontal
lobotomies to every Mets fan
attending the University of
Michigan. It's safe, cheap, and
effective, while it gives doctors

something to do besides play golf.
Unfortunately, this solution
keeps the person's tongue intact. It
has been scientifically proven that a
New Yorker's tongue works
independently of his brain, which
may or may not exist. Cutting out
a New Yorker's tongue would solve
the problem temporarily, but, like a
neccesary organ, I have a feeling
that it would regenerate.
I guess that it's "Keith
Hernandez is Gawd," and "Dwight
Gooden is awesum" and "Da Cubs
suck" for another year. The thought
pains me. My head is starting to
throb. I am running to the
bathroom.

A horrible thing happened indeed
Monday night. It will run as a live
nightmare in Ann Arbor for many
months to come.

GRIDDE PICKS

Kin Yee turned in an 18-2
record to claim Griddes last week,
the second straight week someone
has won with that record.
Turn in your picks by
midnight Friday to win a pizza
from Pizza Bob's and an FTD
bouquet.
1. Illinois at MICHIGAN
2. Ohio State at Iowa
3. Michigan State at
Minnesota
4. Wisconsin at Indiana
5. Purdue at Northwestern
6. Auburn at Florida
7. Florida State at Miami,
Fla,
8. Alabama at Mississippi
State
9. Maryland at North
Carolina
10. Colorado at Oklahoma
State
P1. Southern Cal at
Arizona
12. Washington at Arizona
State
13. UCLA vs. Oregon State
at Portland
14. Washington State at

Stanford
15. Boston Colleg
Army
16. Pitt at Syracuse
17. South Carolin
North Carolina State
18. Clemson at
Forest
19. Bethune-Cookma
North Carolina A&T
20. Champaign -U]
Shuffle at DAILY LIB

JUST ARRIVED!
~I4the tereo
.s_ T.N.
Home of Klipsch " Yamaha " Denon " Boston Acoustics
Phase Tech " Hafler " Tandberg " B&W " Ortofon
VISIT US SOON AT:
605 E. WILLIAM (Just West of State)
11 to 8 Mon. thru Fri., 10 to 6 Sat. * Phone 665-5600
Other shoppes in Lansing, East Lansing, Saginaw and Traverse City

wVan ted: ambitious, creative, well-
organized students to train to sell
advertising for The Michigan Daily
Interested?-Stop by The
Student Publications Building at
420 Maynard to apply.
Limited number of applications accepted.
APPLICATION DEADLINE NOV. 4


a0

Jr _

CALL US
1141 Broadway
(769-5511)
1200 Packard
(761-9393)
1200 Packard
(761-9393)
1031 E.Ann*
(761-1111)
*OPEN 'TIL 2:00 A.M.
LIMITED DELIVERY AREA
FREE EXTRA CHEESE
ANN ARBOR LOCATIONS ONLY
* 1986Domino's Pizza Inc

WEDNESDAY
DOUBLE
FEATURE
only $4.99 for two
10" cheese pizzas
Additional Toppings
99C for Both Pizzas
To x not included
Offer Good on Wednesdays
in October only!

U


STRATEGIC PLANNING ASSOCIATES, INC.
OPPORTUNITIES
IN MANAGEMENT CONSULTING
Strategic Planning Associates, Inc. (SPA) is a
management consulting firm that develops corporate
and business strategies for a Fortune 500 client base.
SPA, based in Washington, D.C., London, Geneva, and
Singapore, offers a broad range of services which include
corporate strategy studies, individual business studies,
acquisition analyses, analyses of competitors and
industry structure, and operational and
implementation studies.
We are seeking talented undergraduates to join the firm
in our Washington office as Research Analysts who
will work closely with other professionals on client
case studies. The two-year position provides extensive
experience and excellent preparation for graduate work.
Mr. Jeffrey Totten, Manager, along with other members
of SPA's professional staff will speak on campus
at Michigan:
Thursday, October 30th
Michigan Union Kuenzel Room
4:30 p.m.

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-..

I

I HILOWEIhEhIhIhIhI IhI IhIhI IhI I
HALLOWEEN

,. .
r
..
. ....
.
....

TRICK &
TREAT
SALE

U7

One day only
October 31

W-,.z

.4v

TheTric: Pick a balloon an
pop it to discover...
The Treats: A 10% discount on
all purchases made on Halloween/

University Cellar gift certificates
or anyone of the great prizes named
in the balloons.
FREE Cider& Apples
Courtesy of WIARD'S ORCHARD.
Limit : one balloon per customer, please.
Computers,photo processing, special
nrderf and mrrhan ric aItrar n cn I

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