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OPINION

Page 4

Tuesday, September 16, 1986

The Michigan Daily


Edited and managed by students at The University of Michigan
VoI. XCVII, No. 9 420 Maynard St.
Ann Arbor, MI 48109
Unsigned editorials represent a majority of the Daily's Editorial Board
All other cartoons, signed articles, and letters do not necessarily represent the opinion of the Daily.

0

Three plans for Reagan

Mugabe's strength

PRIME MINISTER Robert
Mugabe's refusal to be
intimidated by United States'
halting of any new economic aid
to Zimbabwe is commendable.
He has made his country's
abhorrence of United States
policy in South Africa clear.
United States motives must
be questioned when humani-
tarian aid is cut off to a Third
World nation which exhibits
lack of "diplomatic civility" by
protesting United States policy
and calling for economic
sanctions against the Pretoria
government. Though the
Reagan administration was led
to believe that no political
speeches would be given at the
meeting of Nonaligned Nations,
it was aware that South African
sanctions are the main goal, if
not the only existing objective, of
the 101 member organization.
The Reagan administration
and Zimbabwe have a history of
policy conflict. In 1983, for
example, Washington cut aid
by $30 million dollars to express
displeasure with Zimbabwe's
'support of the Nicaraguan
amendment in the United
Nations that condemned the
:United States for the invasion of
Grenada. Friction increased
etween the two countries when
Mugabe openly criticized
United States support for
Angolan rebels.
The United States is
attempting to coerce Zimbabwe
into silence by cutting off
economic aid. Such action is
,eplorable especially since most
.of the aid is humanitarian.
In demanding an apology it
is likely that President Reagan

is attempting to undermine,
Mugabe's government-one
critical of the Reagan Admini-
stration-and discredit the
Nonaligned Movement. The
majority of the 99 nations in the
group favor the policy Mugabe
has articulated and the United
States government did not
choose to take punitive
measures toward the other
members.
In the past the Reagan
administration has reduced aid
to Zimbabwe in response to
Mugabe's condemnation of
United States policy, but Mugabe
has not rescinded his position.
The State Department has
called Zimbabwe's condem-
nations of United States actions,
including the bombing of Libya,
"highly offensive and counter-
productive." Mugabe has ex-
hibiteda rare political bravery
in standing up to both the
United States and Pretoria.
Zimbabwe is at the mercy of
the South African rail system
for more than 90 percent of its
export economy. Knowing a call
for sanctions risks economic
depression and an even greater
need for foreign aid, Mugabe
has shown his total hatred of
apartheid.
It is both wrong and
ineffective fortthe United States
to withdraw aid from a needy
country over criticism of a
Reagan adminstration policy
that is not supported by the
majority of the United States
people. In its attempt to stifle
criticism, the Reagan admini-
stration will further harm a
nation already engaged directly
in the war against South
Africa.

By Dov Cohen
Guy Vander Jagt's proposal to
abolish the two term limit for the
presidency has prompted criticism that
he is a kingmaker.
I disagree.
Vander Jagt's proposal merely
shows that he is a giant ass kisser.
Vander Jagt, critics have said, is
merely trying to capitalize on the
president's popularity to win himself a
few votes. No one can seriously think
his proposal has a chance of passing.
The time isn't right for approval of
Vander Jagt's proposal. He knows
that. And if he really wanted Reagan
for a third term he would have looked at
some easier, more feasible, solutions.
Like cloning, brain transplants, or
cryogenic freezing.
They've tried cloning with frogs.
Why not with Reagan? Admittedly,
this exploits a loophole in the 22nd
Amendment, which forbids a president-
-but not his clone--from being elected
more than twice. Taking a strict
constructionist view of the constitution,

since the founding fathers didn't forbid
it, it's legal.
Liberals may have a problem with
this plan. They could cite a similar
attempt at cloning by persons of
Reagan's same ideology. It was in a
movie --The Boys from Brazil.
Brain transplants are another
alternative. There's nothing magical
about Reagan's body. What makes
him special is his brain. The solution
is obvious. Grab some sucker off the
street, eighty six his brain, and insert
Ron's. Run him as "The candidate
with Reagan's Brain."
Subjecting someone off the street
probably isn't even necessary. For
years politicians have been sacrificing
their own brains to get ahead in
politics. Now they have a chance to do
so literally. Many politicians would
probably jump at the opportunity to
receive the transplant. One could
easily see George Bush at the head of the
line.
Ofcourse, the operation must be done
close to when the new president would
take office. Otherwise, we'd have a
lame duck president walking around
without a brain for a while.
Cryogenic freezing is my favorite
possibility. Some rich people with
incurable diseases like cancer
"freeze" themselves; so that when an
antidote is found, they can be unfrozen

and cured. The idea is the same here:
The time isn't right for the 22nd
Amendment to be repealed. But, under
"Operation Popsicle," Reagan would be
frozen and saved until he could serve a
third term.
Critics point out that the repeal of this
amendment might take a while. So, by
the time Reagan is unfrozen, he may be
a couple hundred years behind and his
knowledge will be out of date. This is
no problem. Reagan is operating with
an 18th century mentality right now.
Already he's 200 year's behind.
Another few hundred years won't make
any difference.
These three plans--cloning,,
transplant, and freezing--could works
And more importantly for their chief
proponents, they could mean major
fund raising drives. Catchy slogans.
could by thought up like "Freeze the
president, not nukes" or "Save-
Reagan's Brain" (liberals, not
realizing what this one is, might even
contribute.) PAC's could be formed,
like the Political Action Committee
Organized For Saving Him In-Tact--or'
PAC OF SHIT.
These plans could dig into some deep
right wing pockets. I'm sure any
serious Reaganite would contribute.
And even some not so serious ones.
After all, who wouldn't pay a buck to
Save Reagan's Brain?

0

4

Cohen
who will
column
Page.

is a Daily reporter
be writing a regular
for the Opinion

LETTERS.

6

Reach out

Direct info shows Contra terror
To the Daily:
Brandon Crocker left . (',( % WE
something out of his letter, "
ANC vs. Contras" ( Daily, K LE l
9/11/86), facts. Mr. Crocker
tells us that all the first hand
reports he has seen conclude
that the Contras are mostly
peasant farmers and not
former Somoza Guards. Mr.
Crocker does not bother to
mention any reports byc--
name, but it is obvious that he ' - .= . il'. ; J.;.--
has not read the most 0
comprehensive first hand
account, With the Contrasby
Christopher Dickey. Dickey,
a reporter for theoN
Washington Post, cO
accompanied Contras on their
raids. He documents how the
Contras were organized by p^
the CIA from the remnants of 8 O apo+
Somoza's bloody National
Guard. Mr. Crocker writes CbO
that " Many of the key leaders
of the Contras are former p
Sandinistas." It is / P NOW
unfortunate that Mr. Crocker
does not provide any names,
because I only know of one V DEMOc$RAc
former Sandinista that ever
became a key leader of the d
Contras. That was Eden
Pastora. Yet, Mr., Crocker ( .. trNS
may be interested, and
surprised, to learn that even D oC
Eden Pastora, disgusted and
disillusioned, has left the
Contras. Mr. Crocker may MOCVA ,-
also be interested to know
that Pastora has " denounced
the FDN, the main Contra
army, as a puppet army and a
rat's nest of Somocistas. " (
Newsweek, 9/3/84)
It is impossible for the _ eLEEToC AC
Contras to be more democratic NOW
than the ANC. The Contras
are not democratic at all.
They are rapists and
murderers. They are only "
freedom fighters " in the
sense that they fight against
freedom. They certainly are of his ignorance on this remain silent. For it is issue, you end
not a " force for democracy," matter. I also hope that if Mr. innocuous to harbor democracy and in
as Mr. Crocker puts it. Crocker chooses to remain illusions, but when you lives.
I hope this information ignorant of the facts in attempt to infuse others with -Timoth
helps to relieve Mr. Crocker Nicaragua he will also those illusions on such a vital Septei

THE UNIVERSITY'S Project
Outreach program is an
excellent way for students to
learn while helping others in a
tangible way.
The program is offered as
course in the psychology
department. Students taking the
course receive 2 credits for
attending one lecture and one
'discussion a week and spending
4 hours a week on field work.
The field work involves doing
:volunteer work in the
community and is divided into
ten sections.
Currently 644 students are
enrolled in the program
working in neighborhood and
child care centers, clinics,
;mental hospitals and in a
,variety of other settings where
their work can be beneficial to
society.
Students benefit from meeting
a wider range of society than
they would normally come in
contact with on campus. At the
same time, the community
gains from the work of energetic
volunteers.

anger
nocent
by Huet
.tber 14

Bringing the community and
the student body together can
ameliorate the divisive town-
gown animosities which often
characterize communities such
as Ann Arbor. Students and to
some extent faculty are often
viewed by long-term residents as
transient figures with no real
commitment to the community.
Conflicts commonly arise as off
campus student housing,
particularly group houses such
as Co-ops and Greek
organizations, begin to encroach
on residential neighborhoods.
An example of this was the
unsuccessful attempt of a group
of Burns Park homeowners to
prevent the expansion of the
Collegiate Sorosis Sorority.
When students and residents
form views of each other based
upon suspicion or hostile
stereotypes, both sides lose.
Programs such as Project
Outreach provide a forum for
students and the community to
work together. Students who
take part feel more a part of Ann
Arbor and the city benefits.

I

1\1a "l Gas aau, - 1 a - v

VIL - All-XWLLa vii OLA%.L1 a r1NGL1

-,V-

University golf course is top rate

We encourage our readers to use this space

To the Daily:
Jeffrey Wohl made a few
good points in his letter,
"Women's golf deserves
attention ."( Daily, 9/11/86 ) I

United States.
The Detroit News recently
rated the University golf
course as among the top ten in

Michigan. That's quite a
compliment. Having the
right to play the course is a
great privilege that most

University students probably
take for granted.
-Jeff Reiter
September12


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