SPORTS Wednesday, September 10, 1986 Page 9 The Michigan Daily . __r , _ ._ , INCONSISTENT START Lady linksters sixth at Minnesota 'Expert pondering ... ... pigskin fortunes Few admit it, but an extremely gratifying aspect of sportswriting is "pseudo-expertise". Watch a few games, write a few articles, and you too can be a overbearing Sports Guy. "Julius Meatlocker doesn't make the big play," you bark at your friends. "Ohio State is gonna be tough," you snarl at teachers. "I need more money," you beg to your parents. But there are some issues that baffle even the most conceited sports journalist. As Michigan battles Notre Dame Saturday, some questions require elementary answers, analysis even the National Enquirer could be proud of Consider the following: *What will the Fighting Irish ao on offense? Notre Dame has lost tailback Allen Pinkett, graduated four offensive linemen, and doesn't have a definite starting quarterback. "Well, uh," one starts, "they'll run the ball." Finishing with a flourish, you say, "And they'll throw the ball, too." Lou Holtz did wonders at Arkansas, near miracles at Minnesota with his slashing option attack. He'll need heavenly intervention to do the same at Notre Dame. Steve Beuerlein, the probable Irish starter, is slower than the U.S. mail. There is no .dominating running back; Corny Southall could start at tailback. For the wise- cracking Holtz, there's nothing funny about that. The real joke may be on the Michigan defense, however, who might as, well be preparing for Rodney Dangerfield. *How good is the Michigan defense? After allowing only 98 points last season, Michigan lost three All-Americas to graduation - Mike Mallory, Brad Cochran, and Mike Hammerstein. "Of course, they'll be good," you gush, because you want the person who asked to think that he is stupid. "Oh yeah, my oh my, that Michigan defense, whoo boy." Senior noseguard Mike Reinhold isn't that enthusiastic, having injured his heel severely in practice last week. He is lost for the season. One also wonders if Michigan's defense can be consistent. Remember the final game of last season, thenFiesta Bowl? In the first half, Michigan allowed yards like the Cornhusker players ,gave away football tickets. Something for everyone. Notre Dame qualifies as more of a tough quiz rather than a test for the Michigan defense; Oregon State (on Oct. 20) is as difficult as being asked to count from one to ten.-Forwards. * Is Bo Schembechler one of the top coaches in the country? Although Schembechler has a .773 winning percentage at Michiga, coaching the talent he recruits Vana White ("may I have an M', please") would find it hard to lose. In those years that talent isn't up to par (notably 1984), Schembechler has had problems. "Of course he's a great coach, you idiot!!!" you scream, hiding any doubts. "What are you, a commie or something?" The poor slob asking the question crawls into a corner to cry. Sportswriting can be so gratifying. Blue Banter By JERRY MUTH Good golfers are known for their ability to 'get up and down.' So far, in the case of the women's golf team, up and down has been a better description of their scores than the manner they play. After snagging first place in Notre Dame's tournament on August 30 and 31, the Wolverines fell to a sixth place finish in the University of Minnesota's eight team tournament over the weekend. While Michigan averaged just 78 strokes a round in the season opening tournament at South Bend, the linksters' average ballooned up to 84 strokes a round at Minnesota. PART OF the reason for the higher scores may be the fact that the final round in the 54-hole Minnesota tournament was held at Hazeltine, site of the 1991 U.S. Open and other professional golf tournaments, according to Michigan head coach Sue LeClair. The tournament's first two rounds were played on the University of Minnesota's home course. Senior Jan Idomir proved to be "Michigan's most consistent golfer" over the weekend, according to LeClair. The East Lansing native fired rounds of 79-82-82 to finish in a five-way tie for fifth overall. Another senior, Terri Mage, wasn't far off Idomir's pace, chipping in rounds of 83-87-85. Sophomore Noel Brisson turned in an erratic set of rounds, shooting 86 and 95 on Minnesota's course before bringing home a final round 79 on Hazeltine, a par-75 course for women, said Reflections on Beauty Achieving Beauty Through Education LeClair. SOUTH FLORIDA captured the tournament title, with 954 strokes, followed by Minnesota at 976. Iowa State held down third at 984, Iowa placed fourth with 992, and another Big Ten foe, Wisconsin, turned in an even 1,000. Michigan followed the Badgers with a three-day total of 1,008, one stroke ahead of seventh- place finisher Bowling Green. Northern Iowa trailed the pack with 1,041 strokes. The Wolverines' coach believes improvement can come, however, as the players work on their short games, particularly chipping and putting. Length off the tee, she said, is Michigan's strongpoint. LeClair, as much as anyone, seems intrigued with her team's play in her fifth season as coach and, like all coaches, remains hopeful for the future. "I have more depth than I've ever had," she continued, "and the younger players are putting a little more pressure on the seniors..." In any case, the tournament title at Notre Dame remains something for the Wolverines to build on after improving at the end of last spring to rise from the Big Ten cellar to eighth at the Big Ten conference meet. This weekend the Wolverines will carry their clubs to Big Rapids, Michigan, for a tournament at Ferris State College on Friday and Saturday. " Special Image and Health programs available for your group or organization. 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If so, bring a lot of cash, because yesterday scalpers were selling general admission tickets for $90 a piece, according to students at Notre Dame. * The Michigan coaching staff still has not decided who will start at the four open spots on defense. Three of those positions are at linebacker and the other is at a corner. "There is no difference between the starters and the people who would play second," said Gridde Star date 3453.02: Captain's Log supplemental. We are responding to an SOS. "Captain Kirk! Come quick," yelled Sulu. "In his hand, and all of the others, too." "Griddes, Mr. Spock? What does it mean?" "The Klingons may have been intrigued by the game, yet were driven mad when they realized they could never receive the prize. "The prize, Spock?" "Yes, Jim. They had intended to drop off their entries at the Daily offices by midnight Friday. But when they realized the small one-item pizza from Pizza Bob's was available only in the 20th century, they were driven mad." 1. MICHIGAN at Notre Dame (pick total points) linebacker coach Tom Reed. " Middle guard Mike Reinhold, a fifth-year senior, is out for the season, again. He broke is leg to miss the '84 season and this time he tore his achilles heal. The injury happened in practice on Friday. " The Wolverines will continue full practices this week until they take a quick plane ride to South Bend Friday evening. -NUSSEL Picks 2. Michigan State at Arizona State 3. Illinois at Southern California 4. Ohio State at Washington 5. Bowling Green at Minnesota 6. Ball State at Purdue 7. Louisville at Indiana & Iowa State at Iowa 9. N. Illinois at Wisconsin 10. Stanford at Texas 1L Duke at Georgia 12. Texas Tech at Miami, Fla. 13. Pittsburgh at North Carolina State 14. Mississippi State at Tennessee 15. Texas A&M at LSU 16. California at Boston College 17. Syracuse at Army 18. North Carolina at Kansas 19. Wofford at Davidson 20. 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