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CAUTH OF T~ftAY

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(Continued from Page?7)
actress, since I was about three years
old. I came from a family that was in-
volved in the arts. My parents used to
perform in USO shows. I started going
to drama class and studied voice.
Finally, one night while I was singing
in this group, an agent came up to me
and said, 'Are you an actress?' I told
her that I was a bird trainer at Busch
Gardens. I trained macaws and
cockatoos, and performed seven
shows a day. She came and saw me do
my shows. She said I had a real
natural comedy talent as well as
singing ability, and she signed me.
From then on, I did two Dean Martin
shows, two Love American Styles, a
Marcus Welby M.D., one line in Battle
of the Planet of the Apes.
"Then I landed in Funny Lady with
Barbara Streisand." Colleen was on
her way.
"Herbert Ross, the director ofFun-
ny Lady, said that I. was a real
comedy talent," said Colleen. "Her-
bert and his wife proceeded to take
me to a party where my blind date
was Woody Allen. I was such an
idiot... I didn't know who Woody Allen
-was. I had a boyfriend so it wasn't like
some romantic date. He gave me his
name and number and years later I
realized that this had been the famous
Woody Allen. Of course nothing ever
came of it, I never pursued it. On a
professional level, I should have made

a contact. I'm telling you this story,
not because I should have had a big
romance with him, but becuase I
should have been more knowledgable
of who he was at the time, because I
would have said, 'God, I am funny and
I want to do a movie with you."'
Colleen is a perfect example of a
type-casted actress. She played the
mother in Valley Girl and D.A.R.Y.L.
and the country singer in They All
Laughed. Because of this she was in a
little predicament when she tried out
for Clue.
"They said that they needed a
glamour girl with a French accent
who looked like Bridgette Bardot. I
said that I was going to show them. I
haven't looked like this since
Apocalypse Now. Actors are different
for every role. So, I walked into the of-
fice in a French maid's outfit and did
the whole reading in a French accent.
I had the part 30 minutes later.
"What is happening is that the
(movie studios) inflate the egos of
these poor teenagers, where these
teenagers are getting something like
$1 million dollars per movie: They ah-
ven't had enough time to.digest their
craft. They are getting so hyped up
that it mentally screws a lot of them
up. Don't be flippant or cavalier. Ac-
tors should go to scene study classes. I
studied for seven years. Even though
I have been doing it since I was a kid, I
worked in a scene study class while
doing movies to perfect my talent.
That is very important as well."

How to become a star

My father's dreams

vs.

my rc

You're hooked. Do you have what it
takes to become the next aspiring ac-
tor? Well, it really doesn't matter
what you think. It's what the agent
thinks: the person who is going to try
to get you work.
"What I look for (in new talent) is
someone who walks into a room that I
can't help but notice," said J.J.
Harris, an agent at the famed William
Morris'Agency. "They can be a very
quiet person, but they have a quality
that commands presence. They have
some sort of self-confidence that just
comes through. You know that they
are different, special. That can be
embodied in many different ways -but
what it usually translates to is that
they have talent and screen presen-
ce."
Lori Wurm, an agent for Marce
Haney Associates in Detroit has some
other criteria. She looks for the "all-
American" boy/girl next door. A pret-
ty face is not all: you also have to
have experience, know how to take
directions, treat the director and
other actors with respect, and know
how to not be obnoxious.
Nina Blanchard, creator and
president of the agency which bears
her name, and who is responsible for
the success of Cheryl Tiegs, Shari
Belafonte-Harper and Catherine
Oxenberg, has more stringent
outlines for new talent; Modeling and
acting incorporate different criteria,
according to Ms. Blanchard.
"I'll be very specific about the
modeling because it's very short,"
said Ms. Blanchard. "For the women.
you have to be 5'9" to 6'0" and bet-
ween the ages of 16 and 20 to start. For
the men, you have to be 5'11" to 6'1"
and between the ages of 18 to 24 to
start."
Blanchard continued, "If we're
looking for commercial talent, you
have to have what is called a com-
mercial look. What is a commercial
look? It varies. It's what you see on
television. "It's the young kid, it's the
cute, young, all-American girl, it's the
mommy and daddy, it's the young
bride and groom. They are all very
stereotyped people, but that's what
they use in commercials. Actors
worry about being type-cast, but that
is what it is all about."
O.K., you think that you fit these
guidelines-now what? Do you just
walk in and become a star? Well, for-
tunately there are many teen roles
available; on the other nand, there's a
whole lot more teen actors after them.
"The way the industry is set up, the
acting field particularly, a lot more
young talent is being hired," said
Harris, "and there are more and
more movies being made that are
about and for young people; young
audiences and young actors. There's a
trend happening right now from -the
silly, slapstick, wacky teen comedies,
to poignant, important teen movies."
"There's intense, unbelievable
competition. Los Angeles and New
York are just full to the eyeballs with
young, aspiring actors and actresses.
The people that come here come from
all over-everywhere," Harris added.
Training and acting classes are also
very important to agents. "If they
look at the picture, then they want to

know what there is besides the face,"
said Blanchard. "I don't take people
for commercials unless. they have
training: theatre arts at a university,
three or four years at a workshop, etc.
Even when you have the training, it
takes around two years to find an
agent in Los Agneles."
"It's very important to keep
studying for most people," said
Harris. "There are a few natural-born
actors for whom studying would just
screw them up. For the most part,
people should think in the terms of
being in class. Some of the more
prominent acting schools get people
launched into their careers."
If you're not dampered by the strict
guidelines yet, you are probably won-
dering, "What do I do next?"
"You have the qualifications (for
modeling), let's say. If you don't have
it, forget it. It won't happen," said
Blanchard," If you have the physical
qualifications, send snapshots to the
major agencies or start in your own
home town first. If you get a response
and someone is interested, then
they'll start you. You don't need
training for modeling. .We don't care
what you've been, what you've done,
whether you act or whether you don't.
We're interested in your acting only if
we think that you can be used for
commercials."
"First of all, as soon as you are
aware that you want to act, however
young you are, you should start pur-
suing it right away: high school or
college plays, regional theatre;
whatever you can do," said Harris.
"When you get into the world of New
York or Los Angeles, there is going to
be a lot of competition. You're going
to have to be better than a lot of people
who are terrific. My advice is that you
should pursue every possible avenue.
If you get the opportunity to be in a
show, you should do it. You should go
on every audition that you can
possibly go on and try ever'ything to
get exposed to other people in the in-
dustry and to, the parts that are
available."
If you are trying to get an agent, you
have to always send a picture and a
resume. There are many different
theories on how a picture and resume
should be done.
According to Blanchard, a snapshot
is all you need to begin with. "If you
feel that you have what we are looking
for, you can send snapshots to the
agencies. All the agencies look at
snapshots," said Blanchard. "I look
at every picture that I get and I get
around four thousand a month, How
many do I find out of that four
thousand... maybe two."
"An eight by ten glossy is a
prerequisite," said Harris. "You
can't do anything without the eight by
tens."
"Stay away from friends who take
pictures," commented Wurm,
"becuase that will more than likely
cause a disaster." According to
Wurm, eight by tens (otherwise
known as headshots) cost between
$110 and $500 in Detroit. "Printing can
get real expensive depending on
where you go," added Wurm.
"Resumes should include all acting
experience, whatever it is and should
also include special skills," said

Harris. "Many people, when they first
start working have their height,.
weight, eye and hair color and age
range. That is not necessary after a
while, but when you're first starting,
it makes it a whole lot easier for
people who don't know you. I would
also include languages and hobbies."
"You should not put your home ad-
dress and phone number on the
resume," said Wurme. "If a client
wants to contact you, they can go
through an agent who protects the
talent."
Getting a little hard to swallow?
Well, there is one more obstacle to
conquer before you can start to make
it." That is getting into a union. There
are five acting unions in all. They
all have very stringent guidelines to
get in. First there is the Screen Actors
Guild (SAG). SAG has jurisdiction
over everything that is filmed. SEG
(Screen Extras Guild), which only
exists in Los Angeles, takes care of all
the extras (people used for crowd
scenes or walk-ons) in these films.
The next is AFTRA. AFTRA has
jurisdiction over all live shows, records,
and radio shows. AEA is Actor's
Equity and that deals with all staged
productions that have a book, while
AGVA (American Guild of Variety
Artists) takes care of all stage shows
that do not have a book (theme parks,
cruise ships, etc.). Fifty-five thousand
people belong to (SAG), and only 600
(around 1.5 percent) of them make a
living wage of $10,000 or more, accor-
ding to Blanchard.
Are you getting a little
discouraged? Discouragement and
rejection are all a part of the game.
Corny as it may sound you have to try
and try again. If you love acting
though, you will.
"Be persistent," said Wurm, "listen to
criticism. Listen to it and think about
it. There are so many people who try
to help young talent; to tell them what
is wrong and what to change and then
(these young people) get all upset
about it. You can't do that, Take what
jobs you can get because there will be
a time you'll need that job and they're
not going to give it to you because you
wouldn't do it before. Don't let your
ego get away with you."
"The number one quality is deter-
mination," commented Harris. "You
also have to have patience and you
have to be willing to put up with some
drudgery. You are really going to
have to be ready to fight. You have to
go out there and fight for every role
you want to get... and probably most
of them you won't get."
"It (acting) better be the most im-
portant thing in your life," said Blan-
chard, "You better not be able to do
anything else, better agree that you
will die unless you become an actor...
otherwise you can't do it becuase it
won't happen."
A defense
against cancer can be
cooked up in your kitchen.
Callus.
AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY

Y ARSBEFORE I was born there
.was a prophecy told unto my
Mom, that her third son, myself,
would have no scientific or
mathematic capability. And so it
came to pass on.the twenty-fourth day
Mike
of the one-thousand-nine-hundred-
and-sixty-fifth year that I was born.
At first, Mom wasn't sure whether I
was indeed scientifically and math-
matically inept because I couldn't
talk.
As time passed my Mom saw that
the prophecy was true. My Dad,
although he didn't realize it, flouted
the word of the gods: He was a doctor,
who always loved math and science,
and he wanted me to follow in his foot-

steps and become a doctor.
"I want you to take physics," my
father said, "I don't care if you flunk.
I just want you to try it." And so in my
second year of high school I was
enrolled in a physics class, com-
pletely unaware that I was doomed.
Doc Walters, my tenth-grade
physics teacher always read our test
scores aloud so that we could know
how the rest of the class had done.
"76, 95, 83, and 8," Doc shouted. It
took some time to sink in. Someone in
the class had received an 8 on the test.
8 out of 100 points.
Then everybody looked around the
room to try and figure out who owned
the 8. "It's gotta be Mike
Smotrich," I whispered to Tim
Austen, who sat in back of me. It had
taken Smotrich nearly a week to learn
how to light the bunsen burners for the.
pressure experiments.
"How'd you do Fisch?" Steve Levin
asked me after the tests were passed
out. He always asked me what my test
scores were so he would have an ex-
cuse to tell me his (which was in-

variably an A of some sort). "Pretty
good," I answered staring at the cir-
cled red '8' on the top right-hand
corner of my test sheet. I double-
checked Doc's calculation of my
score, and yes indeed, 8 partial credit
points on the first question plus zero
points on the rest of the questions did
add up to 8.
According to Doc, my 8 was the first
single digit test score in my high
school's history. Doc was so tickled
with my ignorance that he made a
separate graph of my test score. Hen-
ce there were two graphs, one with the
class score and one with a single dot,
above which was written, "Mike's
Score."
I didn't know it then, but the 8 was a
sign from the gods. They were telling
me to drop the course, to get out, to
stay away from math and science. I
got a D+ in physics for the year.
That was not enough to convince my
Dad that fate was against me. "Try
Algebra Two," he said, "you've got to
keep your options open. You may
want to take calculus someday." .

Algebra Two was much easier than
physics. Going into the final exam I
had a C average. Without even
realizing it, I was spitting in the god's
faces.
The final exam didn't even seem
that tough. In fact I finished about a
half an hour before anyone else in the
class. I looked around me and they
were all scratching away feverishly. I
checked my exam twice before I
strode up to the front of the room and
handed my test to Mr. Couckas. "You
still have 15 minutes to go," he said
surprised that such a mediocre
student was finished early. "No
need," I shot back, "I aced it."
I forgot to do the second page. I did
well on the first page, no doubt I would
have done equally well on the second,
had I realized it existed, and had
another two hours to do it.
The University of Michigan accep-
ted me anyway.
D URING freshman orientation I
chose my courses for my first
term of college. There were so many

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VINYL

(Continued from Page 4)
while occasionally quite likeable, The
Whole Lotta Loves prove, in classic bar
band fashion, that fun is no substitute for
a high-quality repertoire.
- Joe Acciajoci
Echo and the Bunnymen -
Songs to Learn and Sing (Sire)
A fantastic collection of great songs
whcih weren't necessarily hits. All songs
highlight the moody, thickly textured
sound of Echo and the Bunnymen at
their best.
Songs include a studio recorded ver-
sion of "The Puppet" and a new cut,
"Bring on the Dancing Horses," which is
well on its way to becoming an American
hit. This last track bears less of the
visceral strength which made a song like
"The Cutter" (also included) so dynamic
and exciting. It's a bit "safer." which is
probably why it's being heard so much
now. Nonetheless, it's a good track to get
the public hip to this band, fulfilling the
title of the album, perhaps? In any case,
if you don't know Echo now, you
probably should; and this disc will take
care of the problem..
American music club -
The Restless Stranger (Grifter)
On The Restless Stranger,
American Music Club manages to
play a varied handful of rock and roll
with a cynical sneer. Unfortunately,
the album's cuts meet with mixed
success. "Room Above the Club" is a
poor opener which sounds like R.E.M.
under water and is awfully tedious.
"$1,000,000 Song" is a weak effort at
capturing that (psychotic)
psychedelic-cowpunk style which
Thin White Rope does so well. And
"Point of Desire" is an incredibly
pathetic Neil Young rocker. AMC
sports tight musicians. but singer
Mark Eitzel has .a very flat, pained
vocal style which either adds a touch
of desperation to the tracks or just.

gets tiring. Luckily the band latches
onto some real winners - most of
which are on side two. "Tell Your-
self" has a New Order-ish opening
and then cranks up and rocks. "When
Your Love is Gone" is a good number
whcih resembles The Smiths, only
with cleaner vocals and more R&R.
And "Hold onto Your Love" is a
touching ballad whcih recalls Alex
Chilton.
AMC has to lighten up and develop
more originality; but mostly lighten
up. A line like Ten thousand
screaming faces scream 'kill,
kill,kill'and little children come up
to you with words of love sinks like
a stone. Instead of being hip and
depressed, AMC often comes out
sounding depressed, heavy, and dull.
Dancing Hoods - 12
Jealous Roses (Realitivity)
This does NOT sound like an indie
rock band. Well, not very much. It's
very, very commercial-radio geared.
None of the cuts are bad, but none of
them are exceptionally original or ar-
tistic either. It's serviceable R&R,
good and true, slightly hip - with a
touch or two of '60s here and there -
and fun. But it's polished R&R - not
bar band rough or trying to be ultra-
rootsy; smooth, warm stuff more like
what Marshall Crenshaw does.

Especially on the easy-going "Blue
Letter." The Hoods get somewhat
gruffer on "Bye Bye Jim" with loads
of nasty delay on the vocals and a
rocking guitar line. "Surfing All Over
The World" has a bit of the cheesy '60s
organ in the background; a fun tune.
And "Watching You Sleep" is a pretty
ballad. But much of this disc sounds
the same; which is fine. Dancing
Hoods get kudos for a job well-done,
but lose some brownie points on
originality.
-Beth Fertig
Sonic Youth
"Halloween"/"Flower"
With every release, this noisy and
fascinating New York quartet seems
to get their tasty vision more and
more focused and developed, allowing
their distinctive sound to come into its
own. On "Flower," relentless tribal
drumming, layers of jagged, non-
traditionally tuned guitars and dark,
hypnotic bass throbs all do their nasty
collective thing behind Kim Gor-
don's truly chilling vocals. Like Ann
Arbor's Stooges (a definite Sonic
Youth influence), the band really
knows how to use repetition, creating
a sometimes horrifying but always
rocking and twisting cyclone of sound
that violently seduces the all-too-

willing listener into the psychic Sonic
groove.
On "Halloween" (a song also heard
on the latest Giorno Poetry Systems
Compilation), the groove gets slowed
down, with the band creating a tense,
moody and atmospheric web of feed-
back somewhat reminiscent of the
Velvet Underground's classic White
Light/White Heat. With its relatively
loose and subtle rhythm,
"Halloween" reveals the pastoral
side of Thurston Moore and Lee
Renaldo's jarring twin axe attack,

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