Page 10 - The Michigan Daily - Tuesday, September 10, 1985
Just messin' around with stickers

0

By DAVE ARETHA
Something's out of whack.
On October 13 of last year, lowly
Northwestern University came to
town for a friendly game of football.
Announced attendance at Michigan
Stadium: 102,245..
THAT'S 1-0-2-2-4-5.
Now check this out. Four days later,
the prestigious University of Notre
Dame journeyed to Ann Arbor for a
friendly game of field hockey. Atten-
dance at Ferry Field at the start oftthe
game: 1. That's 1. Swear to God.
BUT THAT'S not all. On that same
afternoon, Beaver Cleaver was
wheedling his way out of another
predictamentson his never-ending TV
show, "Leave It to Beaver."
Estimate of Ann Arborites watching

the Beav: 4,800.
That's 4,799 more people rooting for
the Beaver than pulling for the
Wolverines.
Fade to black and white.
"Leave It to Beaver" episode
#67,486: The Beaver learns about
field hockey.
Scene: The Cleaver kitchen.
Ward is helping June with the din-
ner dishes while Eddie Haskell tells
a field hockey joke to Wally and
the ever-perplexed Beaver.
EDDIE: . . . so the one field
hockey player says to the other
field hockey player...
BEAVER: Eddie?
EDDIE: Why are you interrup-

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ting me, you little squirt?
BEAVER: What's field hock-
ey?
WALLY: A ww, it's some
goofy game that girls play.
They run around in skirts and
hit a little ball with funny-looking
sticks. It's real sissy stuff.
JUNE: Sissy stuff? Wally, I'll
have you know that I played a little
field hockey when I was your age,
and it was hardly sissy stuff.
You tell him, Mrs. Cleaver. When
you get 22 unprotected athletes armed
with wooden sticks, smacking a rock-
hard ball off Astroturf, then you've got
yourself a combat zone.
"I've got five big bruises, and that's
not counting the indentations," said
Michigan goalie Maryann Bell,
relaxing in her living room after prac-
tice along with five other teammates.
"IT'S NOT like we got out there and
go la-dee-da-dee-da," said halfback
Dorie McCubbrey.
"Yeah," added midfielder Joan
Taylor, "It's not like synchronized
swimming."
BEAVER: Gee Eddie, Joan
Taylor says it's not like syn-
chronized swimming. I guess it
really isn't sissy stuff. Maybe we
should go to a game.
EDDIE: A ww, shut up Beaver.
Why go to a field hockey game
when you can go to a baseball game
instead? In field hockey, all
you get is run, run, run - pass the
ball, pass the ball. Then someone
shoots it and the goalie stops it.
Field hockey's boring.
But Eddie, it's all in the way you
look at it.
"Baseball's boring," said
Wolverine link Patty Mondul. "All
you get is pitch, pitch, pitch - watch
it go by, watch it go by. Then someone
hits it and another guy catches it."
"IN FIELD hockey there's finesse,
there's strength, there's skill," said
Bell.
"There's teamwork, there's com-
munication," added forward Lisa
Murray.

"It's a lot like basketball," said
Bell. "You can see plays unfolding."
"I think field hockey is more ex-
citing than baseball," Mondul con-
cluded.
BEAVER: See Eddie, Pat
Mondul says field hockey is more
exciting than baseball. Maybe we
should see a game.
WALLY: Nah, I don't think
so, Beav. The thing is, nobody
knows any of the players. As far as
we're concerned, they're just a
bunch of numbers on a roster.
They have no personality.
No Personality?
Wally, meet Tracy "Gas Cap"
Gaskins from King of Prussia, Pen-
nsylvania. Introduce yourself to
Maryann Bell. nicknamed "Ma Bell"
because it has a nice ring to it. Say
hello to Dorie "Cubbie" McCubbrey,
and don't forget Pam "Digger" Jen-
nings.
"WE COULD go through the whole
roster," said Bell.
There's Joanne "HoJo" Green, Pat
"Mondoo" Mondul and Lisa "Smurf"
Murray.
"Lisa's the skinny one that's got a
lot of tone," said link Jane Nixon.
"She's from Connecticut and she's
kind of weird."
"WE'RE ALL kind of weird," said
Mondul.
"Really weird," said Nixon.
"Off the wall," added Murray.

Michigan's Lisa Murray fights for the ball
against Ohio University.

a

NO LIE. Especially the striking
Katrina Warner, who's just some eye
shadow away from knocking Cover
Girl Christie Brinkley to the back
pages.

"WE PLAY for each other," said
Nixon. "We really don't get much
support from the University."
The stickers get about as much fan
support as an intramural high school
chess team.
Hey Cubbie, how many do you draw
for a weekday game?

Daily Photo by ANDI SCHREIBER
during Friday's scrimmage

Remember Beaver:
Stadium may have their
Ferry Field has Katrina.

Michigan
waves, but

. BE AVER: See
Michigan Stadium may hav
WALLY and EDDIE:

BEAVER: See Wally, they're off shut up Beaver.

k

the wall.
Especially in practice, when coach
Karen Collins pushes them a little too
much.
"When we're really, really, really
tired and the coaches tell us we hve to
do sprints," said McCubbrey, "then
we'll run five yards and do Dead
Bugs."
DEAD BUGS?
"Demo!" blurted Bell, "Demo!"
McCubbrey and Bell dropped to the
floor. They flailed their arms and
legs as if they were ladybugs just
sprayed with Raid.
"WE HAVE a lot of stupid humor on
the team," Mondul said.
And on top of that...
"We're all cute," said Nixon.

WARD: Wally, it seen
and Eddie don't give th
hockey team the respect it
ves.
There you go, Mr. Cleav
respect. No respect at all.I
story of their lives. The team
change their uniforms from sk
jerseys to baggy suits with ski
ties.
"A lot of people really don'
what field hockey is here,'
Taylor. "You walk down the
and they ask, 'What's in you
bag, a tennis racket?"

Wally, "OH, TWO or three," she said.
e... "Let's see, there's my parents, Jane's
parents ...
A wwds"There's plenty of room in the stan-
Aw'ds."
Maybe the team should rename
Ferry Field and call it Danger Field.
Sfyouield Don't you think so, Beav?
deser- BEAVER: You betcha. No
respect. No respect at all.
rer. No Hey Beav, the stickers play their
It's the opening game Sunday at 11 a.m.
should against Notre Dame. You gonna be
irts and there?
nny red
BEAVER: 11 a.m. huh? Oh, I
don't think so. The "Three
t know Stooges"are on at 11:30.

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said.
e street
ur stick

0I

No respect at all. Not even from the
Beav.

SPORTS OF THE DAILY:

Blue Jay blasts top

Tigers, 5-3

TORONTO (AP) - Cecil Fielder,
George Bell and Garth Iorg hit home
runs last night. leading the Toronto
Blue Jays over 'the Detroit Tigers, 5-3.
Winner Jimmy Key, 12-6, had scat-
tered seven hits and took a 5-1 lead in-
to the ninth. But Lance Parrish
singled with one out and Chet Lemon

followed with his 14th home run of the
season. Tom Henke relieved Key and
got the final two outs for his 10th save.
MICKEY Mahler took the loss,
going seven and one-third innings in
his first AL start.
Fielder broke a 1-1 tie in the second
inning with his third homer, a solo
shot with one out over the center-field
fence.
Bell and Iorg both homered in the
eighth. Bell broke an 0-for-16 slump
with his 28th homer, a bases-empty
blow off Mahler. Iorg added a two-run
blast, his fifth, off releiver Bill
Scherrer.
TORONTO went ahead 1-0 in the fir-
st as Damaso Garcia singled to center
and continued to second on Lemon's
error. Garcia moved to third on a
single by Lloyd Moseby and scored
when Cliff Johnson grounded into a
double play.
Parrish led off the Detroit second
with his 28th homer, tying the score.
One out later, Larry Herndon tripled
and Darrel Evans followed with a fly
ball that right fielder Jesse Barfield
caught and threw home in time to nail
Herndon. It was Barfield's 17th assist
of the season.
Reds 2, Padres 1
CINCINNATI (AP) - Dave Con-

cepcion's ninth-inning single off
Goose Gossage scored Dave Parker
from second base and gave the Cin-
cinnati Reds a 2-1 victory last night
over the San Diego Padres.
Reds player-manager Pete Rose,
who singled twice Sunday to equal Ty
Cobb's all-time hit record of 4,191,
didn't play Monday because the
Padres started left-hander Dave
Dravecky. Rose plans to play
Tuesday against right-hander
LaMarr Hoyt.
"I DIDN'T get The Hit yet," Rose
said. "I'm only tied, and there's a
good chance I'm going to be No. 1. So
I'm not really overly impressed with
being tied."
With two hits Sunday against the
Chicago Cubs, the Cincinnati player-
manager tied Ty Cobb's lifetime
record of 4,191 hits.
Parker led off the ninth inning with
a single to center off Gossage, 3-3,
making his third appearance since
coming off the disabled list after ar-
throscopic knee surgery. Eric Davis
bunted Parker to second and Concep-
cion singled one out later on a 2-2 pit-
ch, his third hit of the game.
JOHN FRANCO, 12-2, pitched one
perfect inning for the victory in relief
of Andy McGaffigan, who allowed
four hits in eight innings.

The crowd of 29,289 repeatedly
chanted "We want Pete" in efforts to
coax Rose into a pinch-hit and a swing
at the record. But Rose's only on-field
appearance was to argue a call at first
base in the sixth inning.
The Padres scored in the fifth.
Bruce Bochy, a last-minute
replacement when catcher Terry
Kennedy developed a stiff back,
singled to start the inning and moved
to second on a fly out by Carmelo
Martinez. . Kevin McReynolds
followed with an RBI double.

0
I

Lemon
...home run and error

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Slick base-running by Gary Redus
helped the Reds tie it in the sixth.
Redus drew the first walk from
Dravecky with one out, stole second
and third, and scored on Buddy Bell's
soft single to right. Redus has stolen
43 bases this season.
Dale Berra testifies
in coke trial
PITTSBURGH (AP) - New York
Yankees infielder Dale Berra testified
yesterday that he shared cocaine with
Dave Parker, John Milner, Lee Lacy
and Rod Scurry when all five played
baseball for the Pittsburgh Pirates
and said his own drug use peaked last
summer while he was injured.
"When I got hurt I got depressed
and I had a lot of time on my hands for
the first time in 10 years and I thought
it was the opportune time to do it,"
said Berra, the fourth major league
player to testify at the cocaine
distribution trial of Curtis Strong, 38,
of Philadelphia.
LOS ANGELES Dodgers and for-
mer Tigers infielder'. Enos Cabell
testified earlier yesterday that he
snorted cocaine as many as 100 times
between 1978 and 1984 and that he
usually performed well, getting two or
three hits, in games the day after
using the drug.
Cabell refused to name any other
major league players as cocaine users
other than those he named Friday:
Parker; former Houston Astros pit-
cher J.R. Richard; San Francisco
Giants outfielder Jeff Leonard, and
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