COMPUTERS The Michigan Daily Tuesday, April 23, 1985 Page 5 v Comedian finds humor in the computer biz NEW YORK (UPI) - Not everybody takes seriously the onslaught into our lives of the omnipresent personal com- puter. Some believe the heavy burden of computers can be lightened with a touch of glee. Comedian Billiam (yes, -that is his real name) Coronel is one of "those people. He uses the foibles of the ,computer industry as the basis for his humor. Because of that, some of his jokes are funnier if you have some knowledge of computers. Fortunately, part of his audience fits neatly into that category. Coronel "writes an electronic humor magazine called Comedy By Wire available to subscribers of the computer service . called The Source. THE SOURCE is one of several databases that are geared to the broad consumer market. It allows customers to do everything on their computers from booking airline tickets to having '"conversations" with people all over 'the world. You can read the wire ser- vices, newspapers, magazines and material written especially for the ser- vice by a variety of specialists. "I bought a computer to organize my act, my mailing lists, and my jokes. A little later, I got a membership to The Source and noticed that there was not humor. I started to write, some things and people responded," said Coronel. An example of the things people responded to: "BIC entered the High Tech arena this month with the World's first truly disposable computer. Called Real, Real Good News, it will come standard with a keyboard you can chew on and a monitor in either medium or fine resolution." SINCE THE reception was so good, he thought that it might be a nice ad- dition to The Source's group of "self- published" magazines. These features cost the subscribers a little extra, and the proceeds are shared between The Source and the author. The Source didn't appear to have a sense of humor; it turned down his proposal. 'BIC entered the High Tech arena this month with the world's first truly disposable com- puter called Real, Real Good News.' - Comedian Billiam Coronel toward wackiness while the New Yorkers tend toward a more laid-back, cerebral style. "L.A. comedy is more zany; the Robin Williams kind of zaniness. Here in New York, the comics tend toward the David Letterman style," he ex- plained. In the magazine and in his nightclub act, Coronel likes to take trends and tie them in with some aspects of com- puting. He combined Eastern Religion, California pop culture and software to, come up with Zen Software from Holistic Mail-Order. The disks of popular programs like Lotus 1-2-3 and WordStar are erased "to bring them back to their pure, uncontaminated state. The soul of the program is still there, it is only the physical manifestation that has been purged." Nothing is sacred to Coronel. He even picks on the pope: "Pope John Paul II brought a Radio Shack Model 100 (a popular portable computer) with a modem (a device that allows computer connection over phone lines.) 'I've been traveling a lot and I need to keep in touch with the Vatican,' his Holiness explained." The outlets for stand-up comics have dwindled over the ;past few years because of the death of television variety shows and fewer nightclubs. While Coronel is making "a very good living, thank you" as a night club comic, he has gotten serious enough to recognize that there is a future in Comedy By Wire. He believes that it won't be long before cartoons and other sight gags will be transmitted by com- puter. "That's when I'd like to be in position to publish a general humor magazine on a database," he says. He doesn't think that day is very far off but it is going to take the further spread of per- sonal computers. Coronel says he will know when that day has arrived when his mother has a computer and uses it for reading her knitting magazine. Coronel was not one to be put off by a tough audience. He kept up the magazine as a private enterprise and the reaction continued to be positive. The Source finally relented. "The magazine looks the same as it always did, but now it's easier to find," said Coronel. Comedy By Wire is now listed on the main menu of items available to subscribers. "It's not hid- den away where only a selected few could find it," he said. THOUGH Coronel is a Californian by birth, he is a New Yorker by temper- ment. He says there is a distinct dif- ference between East Coast and West Coast comedy. Strangely enough; the styles are not what one would normally expect. The California comics tend U.S. students 'flu From AP and UPI DETROIT- America's grade schools and high schools are in danger of flunking geography by graduating students dangerously ignorant of the world around them, the president of the National Geographic Society said yesterday. 'We know about malnutrition but we know very little of 'where millions are dying of famine," said Gilbert Grosvenor, ,the fifth of his family to lead the society, in a speech to the Economic Club of Detroit. E "HOW CAN we help Africa when we don't know where 'Africa is?" Grosvenor said. Grosvenor's address was part of the 81st annual meeting of ,the Association of American Geographers. About 2,800 people are attending the convention, which ends tomorrow. ,, The teaching of basic geography has practically disap- .peared from the nation's public schools, he said. A SURVEY of one university found that 95 percent of the newly enrolled freshmen could not point out Vietnam on a map, he said. Ignorance of Indochina's geography and ethnic rivalries caused the United States to blunder originally in Vietnam, nking geography' Grosvenor told the Club. "If ignorance of geography helped trigger our original in- volvement, what did we learn?" he asked. "WHEN GEOGRAPHY was folded into the social sciences, it kind of got lost in the shuffle," Grosvenor said. "It is clear to me that kids are not learning geography in primary and secondary schools today." College freshmen should be tested on their knowledge of geography and required to take a remedial course if they fail, Grosvenor said. "But it ought to be a darn good test," he said. "To me, to graduate a kid from college when he barely knows how to drive home is a darn shame." Students no longer take an interest in geography because it is taught by old-fashioned, dull methods. Grosvenor said. "In America, the television image, the moving image, has so dominated our culture that we have become immune to traditional teaching methods," he said. "The moving image is here to stay, and we must harness that image and use it constructively. No agreement reached on aid to Contras V l WASHINGTON (AP)- Senators from both political parties and top White House aides failed to reach agreement yesterday after an all-day negotiating session on how to provide U.S.. aid to Contra guerrillas fighting the leftist government in Nicaragua. With decisive votes scheduled in the House and Senate tomorrow par- ticipants spent the day discussing a Democratic compromise proposal designed. to avoid a political confron- tation with President Reagan on U.S. policy toward Central America. BUT AFTER more than seven hours of talks, Senate Majority Leader Robert Dole of Kansas' reported, "We're stil not there. We don't have consensus. We don't have an agreement." Dole said discussions would resume tomorrow, the same day the issue is to be decided in the Senate. Votes are likely in the Democratic House both today and tomorrow. The late-hour Democratic proposal from Senate Democrats would provide $14 million in humanitarian aid to the Contras if the leftist Sandinista gover- nment agreed to a cease-fire. "IT'S OBVIOUS we are not going to reach full agreement tonight," said Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia, the Senate minority leader. He said he and Dole "are going to sit back" and work on a motion to suspend the rules tomorrow to permit "even an amendment" on the issue. Byrd said the Democrats want to cease fire between the Contras and the Nicaraguan government and that it be monitored. He said they also recom- mend a resumption of bilateral talks as well as $14 million in humanitarian aid-- food and clothing. "There are a number of areas where there isn't any disagreement at all," said Dole. "In fact the president hat- recommended a cease fire. There is no problem about getting back to discussions with the Nicaraguan government. Grosvenor ... calls for reform Dems like plan; GOP calls it a 'gimmick LANSING (UPI)-Democratic leaders were enthusiastic yesterday !bout Gov. James Blanchard's tax "fairness" plan, while Republicans blasted it as a "gimmick" and a top C ',business leader found items to both like and to dislike. "I think it's a good proposal...both in terms of policy and in terms of politics," said House Taxation Commit- tee Chairman H. Lynn Jondahl. JONDAHL'S Senate counterpart, Senate Finance Committee Chairman Norm Shinkle, a Lambertville Republican, attacked the program as "more of the same" and charged it does not give "real relief" to taxpayers. "The governor's latest plan is just another government gimmick," Shinkle said. Blanchard's plan, unveiled yester- day, proposes the elimination of loopholes enjoyed by banks, insurance companies, and stock owners. THOSE INCREASES will help finan- ce a rollback in the income tax rate to 4.6 percent July 1, 1986, as well as $150 million annually in new property tax reductions. The Republican-controlled Senate already has adopted income tax cuts more extensive than those proposed by the governor. 4, r Jondahl said a major point in the plan's favor is its tying together of tax loophole closings with tax cuts. "I THINK it really does now shift the burden onto us," Jondahl said. "If we're going to change it or someone's going to say no to taxing military pay, that person then has to be the agent for cutting property tax relief or to come up with alternatives to make it balance out." Jondahl said legislation enacting the proposal will start in the House, and debate on it will start as early as tomorrow when Treasurer Robert Bowman addresses the taxation panel. Shinkle backed the Senate's plan passed earlier this year which cuts the income tax rate to 4.6 percent on Jan. 1 and increases the personal exemption from $1,500 to $1,750. "THE REPUBLICAN plan is sim- ple," Shinkle said. "It's a tax cut. And it's fair." Senate Republican leader John Engler of Mount Pleasant was unavailable for comment, but a spokeswoman said he endorses Shinkle's statement. House Speaker Gary Owen called Blanchard's plan "fiscally respon- sible" and predicted it will enjoy "good support" among House Democrats. "Long term property tax (relief) is really something the House Democrats have supported for a long time," Owen said. The Ypsilanti Democrat also said that byincluding some GOP-endorsed items, such as the tax amnesty plan, the proposal's chances of gaining bipar- tisan support increases. Michigan State Chamber of Com- merce President James Barrett generally praised the tax-cutting aspects of Blanchard's plan, but questioned its loophole-closing provisions. 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An additional 500,000 homeowners would become eligible and t the size of rebates would increase. - Providing $40 million in deductions from the Single Business Tax for research and development; and, r Permanent tax relief would total $188 million annually and one-time reduc- tions would total $165 million. fans general tax reductions COMPUTER RENTALS We offer a full selection of computers, printers, modems, terminals and hard drives including IBM, COMPAQ, and APPLE products. Short and long term rates available. be required to repay the $53 million windfall they received as a result of a 1983 Supreme Court ruling; " Taxing lump sum retirement distributions, which currently are exempt; " Levying a tax on sales of computer software; " Taxing the pay of active military per- sonnel, who currently are exempt; and, " Establishing a tax amnesty program, to be followed by stricter enforcement and costly new penalties. Officials hope the amnesty itself will bring in $50 A FAMILY of four earning $20,000 per year would save $70 per year under the income tax cut proposal. Ad- ministration officials said they could not determine the effect of the property tax cut on an "average" taxpayer. "I don't think it's a drop' in the bucket," Bowman said of the tax cuts. Blanchard admitted there are some "danger signals on the (fiscal) horizon" such as the lifting of voluntary restraints on Japanese auto imports and federal budget cuts. Rut he said the administrtinn can CALL US TODAY AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR LOW RENTAL RATES TERMINALS