0 ARTS The Michigan Daily Friday, April 5, 1985 Page 6 'The Slugger's Wife' 14 ...out on strikes By Joshua Bilmes Every other review in the world set forth the simple, undeniable fact that Neil Simon's The Slugger's Wife is not funny. I concur. The film stinks. The best line is "Screw one for the moose," and what is a line like that doing in a Neil Simon movie? Police Academy II was far funnier and in much better taste, though that is not the worst sin of The Slugger's Wife. Michael O'Keefe stars as Darryl Por- ter, a slugger for the Atlanta Braves. He becomes fixated with a rock singer named Debby Palmer (Rebecca De Mornay). They marry and Darryl goes on a torrid hitting streak, hitting homers for Debby, and, of course, the Braves are in the thick of the pennant race. And then Debby leaves, beginning to tire of having to yield her career op- portunities to Darryl's. Darryl sub- sequently falls apart at the plate. This is when the film's wretched morality starts to really come into play. The Braves' manager has a player (Moose) hire three girls for Darryl's pleasure. The manager persuades a vague Debby look-a-like to go to Darryl's bedside after he is hit by a pit- ch during batting practice and suf- AKHA )H rte. G . ; KG u . '( presents fering from blurry vision to tell him she will be back when the season is over. It works-Darryl comes to life, breaking Roger Maris' home run record. Do the Braves win the pennant? Who cares?! The difference between a baseball manager and a pimp, according to The Slugger's Wife is that the former would only supply girls for the team's slum- ping players, while the latter would get them for everyone, including front- office personnel. And then when one takes into account that the film just is not funny, you have a bad moviegoing experience, especially when the writer is Neil Simon, who usually writes funny comedies that the whole family can en- joy. Perplexingly enough, the director is Hal Ashby of Harold and Maude and Coming Home fame. Part of the problem seems to be that the filmmakers are relying on the music to sell the move. Quincy Jones was hired to pick nice songs for Rebec- ca de Mornay to sing, and so the film is filled with musical numbers like "Little Red Corvette," although they have no relevance to the film. The numbers are done in a style that reminded me of the Hardy Boys TV show. The Slugger's Wife is totally devoid of charm. I dislike having to dislike a film this much, but I haven't much of a choice. The Slugger's Wife is a bases- loaded strikeout. March of Dimes BIRTH DEFECTS FOUNDATION SAVES BABIES HELP FIGHT BIRTH DEFECTS KER ASOTES THEATRES MOVIE DIRECTORY WAYSIDE 1 & 2 3020 Washtenaw Ave Ypsilanti, 434-1782 BABY fri., 5,7, 9 Sat., Sun. 1. 3, 5, 7. 9 RETURN OF THE JEDI Fri 445705 925 Sat Sun 130400,6:50, 9:20 CAMPUS THEATRE 1214 S. University - Phone 668-6416 RETURN OF THE JEDI Fri. 4:30, 7;00, 9:30 Sat , Sun. 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 STATET1-2-3-4 LOCATED IN THE HEART OF A' THEATRE DISTRICT 231 S. State - Phone 662-6264 TICKETS ON SALE 30 MIN. BEFORE SHOW TIME BREAKFAST CLUB Fri. 5:25, 7:30,9:35 Sat., Sun110320525730, 935 FRIDAY, THE 13th, PART 5 Fri. 5:25, 7:30, 9:35 Sat. 110, 320, 525, 935 Sun. 1:10,3:20, 5:25,7:30 9:35 BLOOD SIMPLE (Sneak Preview) Sat. Night 7:30 THE SURE THING Fri 5:20, 7:25, 9:30 Sat., Sun. 1:05, 3:15, 5:20, 7:25, 9:30 HE MAN Fri. 5:15, 7:20, 9:30 Sat Sun. 1:00, 3:10, 5:1 57:20. 930 LATE SHOWS AT STATE DOORS OPEN AT 11:45 ALL SHOWS START AT 12:00-ALL SEATS $2.00 1. THE LONG "GOOD FRIDAY" 2. THE SURE THING 3. FRIDAY THE 13th, PART 5 4. BREAKFAST CLUB ;4 Eric Clapton-Behind the Sun (Warner Bros.) The worst thing about Eric Clapton's latest album is that it's hard to care. Behind the Sun is a marriage in the grand tradition of royal betrothals-the perfect combination of anemic qualities from both families producing a polished but utterly bland child. Behind the Sun is a child of Clapton and producer Phil Collins (who was asked to step aside when the project was almost finished so that veterans Ted Templeman and Lenny Waronker could try to salvage something) born into a world that remembers Clapton for his days in Cream and Collins for whatever was heard on the radio that morning. It isn't so much that the album is bad, just that there isn't anything to it. Clap- ton is a blues guitarist, his very nature casts him in a rough bluesy setting. Collins on the other hand is a pop craftsman. He takes sounds and cleans them up-witness what he did to "You Can't Hurry Love." Like a square peg being ground into Collin's round musical hole, Clapton's music loses its edge and then doesn't fill all the space it needs to. There are some good ideas for songs, on the album. "Forever Man" and "See What Love Can Do" are just a couple of the songs that suggest they might have been appropriately expanded on in another context (perhaps Clapton's last album Money and Cigarettes). Here, however, they go nothwere. Clapton may still have some good ideastleft in him but he won' by turning to slick p techniques. Money and4 promised a rejuvenate crusading at middle rota across AOR stations to pro t find them the cute title and overslick packaging production image can go straight there too. But Cigarettes this confident, suspiciously well- d Clapton groomed sounding debut LP is sur- tion speed prisingly pretty good; it entrenches ye that the those hooks in your head even as grim imagesof MTV and teen mag success flash across the brain. With their big hair and glossy big- money wave/funk dance sound, L.A.'s Bang Bang seems like a canny Stateside attempt to repeat the success formula of Duran Duran. That remark probably has most of you already tur- ning the page but, hey, 1. integrity has been dead anyway since the day people started calling any degree of political activism "reminiscent of the '60's;" 2. what's sp terrible about Duran Duran in the first place? (they never claimed to be anything but a singles/video band, and are they really any more packaged at this point than, say, Bruce Springsteen or Tina Turner?); and 3. Bang Bang do a decent enough job of it without sounding like carbon D-D copies. The range is moderately wide, from rockier AOR ("Rodeo") to more expec- ted soon-to-be-a-12-inch-near-you dance ne ~cuts ( "Fallen'Leaves," "The A.rtt of context of Emotion"). The album is cozily chart- un though, oriented throughout. Funky bass under- usings of a tones, variously bar buried and prominent guitars, lots of synth back- drops, predictable but well-employed Ph Kraus frills like horn sections and girl singers, et al. Part II Catchy-as-all-Hades songs include "Fallen Leaves" (ABC without the ex- cess melodrama), "This is Love" (Haircut 100-esque teenstuff with a tad y hell, and more meat), "Religious Holiday" (U2 goes frilly-populist) and the title song (troublesome-whiteboy funk, tension rumbling under layers of production slick). At the end of the road is a sur- prisingly disarming waltz-tempo ballad, "Dark Intentions," on which Julian Raymond's initially agreeable and later tiresomely rough vocals reveal an unexpected crooner's war- mth. A very charming end to a not at all bad record. The master Blasters Slash recording artists the Blasters have made the long trip from Los Angeles to Detroit in order to bring their brand of "American Music" to Harpo's. The Blasters have received critical acclaim for their ability to blend Rockabilly, Blues, Country, and the kitchen sink. Tickets are available at Ticket-world outlets and the door, which will open at 8 p.m. Records- {1 tI Clap ton ... blues edges gon blues are viable in the today's pop. Behind the S sounds painfully like the m washed up pop star. -Josep Bang Bang-Life (Epic/CBS) Commercial as all bloody L A I ana al Loutlets. Call 763-TKTS. , I U AMTRAK'S NEW FARES NEW PEAK/OFF PEAK FARES Chicago $41.00* $21.50 Battle Creek $14.25*1 $ 7.50 *Peak fares are only effective between 10a.m.-4p.m., Fridays, Sundays and holidays. One of the best travel values around just got even better. Because Amtrak now offers Peak/Off Peak savings at every stop between Chicago and Detroit. And our Family Plan and Senior Citizen Discounts will save you even more when based on these new low fares. But Amtrak offers more than low fares. On board, you can stretch out in a wide reclining seat and relax. Or stroll to the Amcafe for a hot or cold sandwich and beverage. 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