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This collection, digitized in collaboration with the Michigan Daily and the Board for Student Publications, contains materials that are protected by copyright law. Access to these materials is provided for non-profit educational and research purposes. If you use an item from this collection, it is your responsibility to consider the work's copyright status and obtain any required permission.

October 26, 1984 - Image 27

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1984-10-26

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

ZITTIUM ERUPTUS
The Symptom: When their computers break down,
Computer Nerds break out. Unsightly blemishes sprout
in anxiety over fleeting warranties, inept mainte-
nance, and a callous disregard for quality and
dependability. Because this festering nervous
disorder is so upsetting, Com-
puter Nerds often consume
large doses of benzoyl
peroxide before plug-
ging in their hardware.'
The Cure. Like the
slogan says: "The
Quality Goes In BeforeC(=
The Name Goes On!" So,
count on Zenith's famous
quality and reliability to take
the worry out of owning a
computer. And relax with,
Zenith's outstanding!
"after the sale" support
-including fast on-site"
service whenever you
need it. The "total
performance" Zenith Z-100.
PC's will certainly clear up
your concern...and your
complexion.
PERPLEXUS TUSHIMUNDO
The Symptom: It's no wonder Computer Nerds possess
such rotund derrieres. They sit on their caloric cushions
all day reading nothing but documentation materials
written in (gasp) "Computerese!" Computer Nerds
actually enjoy wasting time trying to decipher all that
perplexing gobbledegook. That's why
they're such a pain in the posterior, and
the butt of many cruel jokes.
The Cure: You won't fall behind
with Zenith User Manuals.They're
written in a language foreign to
Computer Nerds: English!
So, the Zenith Z-100 PC
; T d. : I T c o r M n n i..n Ilc n ce

SQUINTIUM EYETIS
The Symptom: Because Computer Nerds have stared
into fuzzy, glaring video display screens for so long,
their optic nerves have finally said,"So long!" That's why
Computer Nerds always wear those
thick horn-rimmed glasses made
popular by Jerry Lewis in The
Nutty Professor (the Nerd
equivalent to Citizen Kane).
No wonder Computer
Nerds are considered
public eyesores!
The Cure: Don't make a
spectacle of yourself! Top off
your Zenith Z-100 PC with
an "easy-on-the-eyes"
Zenith monitor. Nobody
knows super-sharp video
displays better than
Zenith: We've been making-
better TV's since 1948. Our
non-glare monitors will
impress you with their ad-
vanced features and dazzling
graphics. They're truly a sight
for sore eyes!;

UEFOR THE
COMPUTER'
Zenith PC's
Relieve 12 Computer
Nerd Symptoms.

n
J
3

REVOLTU,
The Symptom: f
have such slow vi
Computer Nerds,
waiting for the
back results.
for such basi
grooming a
Computer N
"aura" that
an outh
The C
PC'sc

S HYGENIUM
Because their computers
deo response times,
spend every waking hour
ir sluggish systems to spit
And this leaves little time
c luxuries as bathing,
nd de-licing. That's why
erds radiate a distinctive
can knock a buzzard off
ouse.
ure: Let the Zenith Z-100
clear the air with their

LIMBUS ORAN(
The Symptom: Compul
ape over their systems
knuckles on the pavemei
tote their computers eve
most Computer Nerd
and heavy, that they
the old arms. And
Nerds end up tr
fingernails.
The Cure: D
If you real]
. ~to go, ge

breathtaking speed. Because a -Z-160 P
Zenith Z-100 PC delivers a can car
much faster video response you'll
time, you'll become much featu
more productive and top
efficient. So, you'll
have more time to
- come out smelling
like a rose!

>c
T7
S
U
X
W
h

_M.-
."° _a

rT
SO
are
That
And
the

---I

_.. _. ... . --_____-w__._

P14

IM

k1.

1N
64

STATUS RECOGNITIS
Phe Symptom: Because their computers lack
)phistication and prestige, Computer Nerds
considered socially undesirable by Society.
t's why they can never find a date with anyone.
their poor self-image is sadly reflected by
ir tacky taste in clothing. Needless to say,
Computer Nerds are never in style, and
should be shunned at all cost!

I

DISCUS EROTICUS
The Symptom: Because their computers lack CASHUM LNTERRUPTUS
sufficient storage capacities, Computer Nerds The Symptom: Computer Nerds are
soon become perversely obsessed with an orgy always broke because they spend
of software disks. It's the only way they can every cent they have on outrageously
save their beloved data. And since they've never expensive computer equipment.
been touched by human hands, fondling Theyve somehow convced them-
floppies is the only physical pleasure selves that a computer set-up must
Computer Nerds ever get. Pretty obscene, be lavishly priceds they're not
aren't they? F aW'resillwonderinhses the vre o in

The Cure: Avoid this
get the designer label
computers: The
Zenith Z-100 PC's.
Folks "in the know"

user i'iaiiuais are tas have respected the
to read and easy to famous Zenith name
employ. And since for over 65 years. They
you spend less know Zenith means
tustying o quality and depend-
hsmryhend ability, and they'll apply
compre en -~ those same virtues to you,
what you're too. So, give a boost to '
a reading, you'll
have more ime to your social life with Zenith
workoff all those fat (a name that's always a
cells. Remember, fashion craze)!
Zenith would never
give you a "bum" steer! "

"social disease" and
I in personal
---

. Y, ..---- i
fi :.._
E
, "

/ I
}0

i

-0

i
r41

WIMPUS WRISTOSIS
The Symptom: Shaking hands
with Computer Nerds is like
squeezing warm oysters. Their Afraid You're Beco
touch is limp and clammy eng A Computer Nerd?
because they always input their 0 Get h
data on clumsy keyboards sport- elpimmediately!
ing awkward key layouts. This For the name and
incessant activity eventually leads Zenith Data Ss dess neahes
to a painful deterioration of the Systemsal
hands, wrists and fingers. And call the ComputerNerd Your campus;
adds to a Computer Nerd's 1-800-842-.9 dEmergencyHotline:
already wimpy image. aAdakhwyuc' Ex I~t..gt u y12
Adask how you cn
The Cure: Give abig Zenith Pcanonal Co, rYow
hand to Zenith for design- Th Personal Comp ut: OW
ing a detached keyboard ure For The Computer Ne
that's similar to an IBM erd!
PC, but boasts a "smarter"
key layout for added con-
venience and dexterity. A Computer
Zenith Z-100 PC's clever key+
layout is so easy on the hands, that Ergen
inputting is a snap. It's the perfect
remedy for Computer Nerds 0-800-8
suffering "wimplash!"

4; j

The Cure: Flash! You'll never develop to pay
an amorous desire for floppy disks
when you own a Zenith Z-100 PC.
That's because a Zenith Z-100
PC offers a largeI
storage capacity -t
that can expand
up to 11
megabytes with
a hard disk. So
your hormones (
will never be°
distracted by an
overabundance-
of floppies ,
S again.
0
SPINUS
QUASIMODIUMj
The Symptom: Also known as
' The Ugly Bell Ringer's Disease;' this gro-
tesque curvature of the ole vertebrae strikes
Computer Nerds who own systems with
attached (or heavy detached) keyboards.
Such sadistic keyboard designs force
Computer Nerds to slump over their com-
puters whenever they input. And, as you can
see the r C1lt, r t;h,, nin tin linc!

are popula
most c
yc
rel
wol

rly priced to give you the
omputer power for your
dollar. And when yoy.-
take advantage
of our Special
Student Pricing,
you'll find that a Zeni
'C can be even more afford
ur folks about this specia
ieved to know you finally
rthwhile in college!

back all those Student Loans.
e Cure: The Zenith Z-100 PC's

C
AT__a

r EXPANDUS NERVOSA
The Symptom: Computer Nerds expand their horizons by expanding their
computers. But they fail to realize that their already enormous systems
lack enough internal expandability. So, as they tack on one peripheral
after the other, they soon find themselves being expanded out of house
and home. Such terrifying experiences eventually lead to an irrational
fear of closed-in places.
The Cure: Hardware expansion should never invade your space. That's
why Zenith gives you plenty of room to grow... inside where it counts.
The Zenith Z-100 PC's give you internal expandability that lets you add
eripherals without adding size. And they're more compact than the
IBM PC. So, cast your fear of expansion aside. We would never dream
of crowding you!

N

r Nerd
cy Hotline

000, Ext. 12
ata
ys teTS

A, esu s are r erCs ne ngSHIV nIg
The Cure: Don't be a slouch! Show some C
backbone and get a Zenith Z-100 PC.
A Zenith Z-100 PC offers you a
lightweight detached keyboard -'
that's truly nice to your posture. It's so flexible,
you can place it in almost any comfortable
position you like. Call it a "hunch;" but we
think you'll enjoy it!

PROGRAMMUS
INCOMPATIBELLUI
The Symptom: Computer Nerds
just about everything. Even their
patible with most popular softwa
grams written for the IBM PC.W-
a lot to be desired, it does offer a
software. So, Computer Nerds wl
PC-compatible computers are ju:
in the sand!
The Cure: When it comes to con
Z-100 PC's are just what the doct
run virtually all IBM PC software
with "total performance" feature:
IBM PC compatibility. And, when
fiber clothing, a Zenith Z-100 PC
compatibility with most life-forrr

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