ARTS rheMichigan Daily Thursday, October 4, 1984 Page 5 Records By Dennis Harvey he Best of Annette (Rhino. ecords) nnette Funicello-Beach arty (Rhino) Annette Funicello-Muscle each Party (Rhino) By D5ENNIS HARVEY It must have taken an unusual exer- ise :of sheer nerve, but the normally earless Rhino Records of California as surpassed itself by releasing three nette Funicello albums from those ;olden days of surf and sun, just before he youth of Southern Cal. started gor- ing out their hair and dropping acid. The American International "beach party" movies and their imitators may save seemed at the time like the very nadir of Hollywood mild youth pics (as apposed to the wild youth classics like Teenage Doll and The Cool and The razy, but like most forms of pure ex- oitation, they look more inspired with age. And Annette was their perfect centerpiece, the vaguely inhuman pneumatic symbol for a world firmly rooted in the abstract realities of back- projection and pie-throwing sep- tugenarian comedians. From the Mouseketeers to Frankie Avalon to Jif- fy Peanut Butter- WOW. Even as early as 1968 Annette was already enough of a pop culture icon to. con- ciously parody herself (in the onkee's lengendary first-and-last feature film, Head). If Andy?. Warhol hasn't done an Annette portrait yet, he ought to. Rhino's three albums (one flew com- pilation and two reissues) can't recap- ture all the subtleties of actually wat- ching, say, How to Stuff a Wild Bikini, but they have a peculiar charm of their own. It's virtually impossible to think of an equally well-known female popular vocalist as cheerfully amateur as Annette, with intonations so remarkably devoid of variety. Heavily double-tracked throughout these recor- ds, she lends an equally pert recitative quality to everything from sap he's-so- mean ballads to makeout anthems to Hawaiian campfire ditties. Most of the music is generic watered surf-combo stuff, with backing vocals of a sort that changed very little bet- ween Paul Anka and the Partridge Family. If you can't see much appeal in owning all three records (admit- tedly, this signifies perhaps excessive listening commitment), the smart shopper's choice is definitley The Best of Annette, compiled by L.A. dj and serious Annette revivalist Rodney Bingenheimer. This is really fun stuff, with a wider range and less painful filler than the two reissued LPs. The first side is bent in the direction of late '50's/early '60's teen-idol pop and balladry. Particularly hopping is the opening "Tall Paul" (a rather perver- sely single-minded ode to her boyfriend's size-"He's my moun- tain/He's my tree/We go steady/Paul and me"), which was Annette's biggest chart success. And no wonder, with those handclaps, cowbells, sax breaks and wierd sentiments. Twist-worthy as well is "Pajama Party" (which, sur- prisingly, seems to be co-ed: "Grab your date/Don't be late"), and rather stunning bossa-noval-type fun can be had with "Jamaican Ska," which comes complete with spoken dance in- structions a la"Locomotion." Side two moves toward the surf sound with one of Annette's finest hours, the theme from The Monkey's Uncle, with invaluable instrumental and vocal backup by the sainted Beach Boys (who also performed it in the film, wearing suits and ties). "California Sun" is a nicely gung-ho gender switch on beach- lust songs, panting after surfin' boys, and "Muscle Beach Party" hits the bell at the top of the scale for sheer healthy vulgarity ("Flex your muscles for kicks, now now now/Gotta hustle the chicks, yeah yeah yeah/Take your vitamin pill now/Give the honeys a thrill, let's go! "). "Beach Party" is arguably the greatest of all wimp surf anthems (allowing for the notion that the Beach Boys, Jan & Dean etc. were pointedly not wimps), and if you still haven't gotten the idea, there's "Bikini Beach" and "Swingin' and Surfin' " to clinch it. Kitsch junkies can get theirs with "Pineappale Princess" and "I Dream of Frankie." Admittedly best taken in small doses (except by the really har- dcore devotees), this Best of collection is a delightful relic-its energy may be contrived and cloying at times, but hey, there iSenergy here. The two "movie" reissues, Beach Party and Muscle Beach Party, are of more limited appeal. It's a pity these aren't really sountracks (they're "songs from the American Inter- national film" and unrelated tracks recorded under Annette's Disney con- tract)-appearances by Frankie Avalon and other would have alleviated the eventual tedium of these assembly- line vehicles for the then-favorite role model of 13-year-old girls. Those with a less than voracious ap- petite for camp may find themselves reaching for a Valium,' but there are gems to be found. Beach Party RN :