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Worst Movie Theater
Nat Sci A uditorium
It's a dumpy room in a dumpy
building. I'd rather stay home.
Best visitingdirector
Lawrence "Larry-to-his-
Friends "Kasdan.
He got the mobs of maize and blue in
quite a chill.
Worst Movie Release
The Lonely Lady
Pia Zadora's acting abilities have
always been suspect. This year she
proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that
acting isn't her bag. From the movies
I've seen there is one thing Pia can do
well and it doesn't have anything to do
with acting. 1983's worst release-the
drum roll please-is The Lonely Lady.
If you missed the flick, Pia gets raped,
and hits the sack quite a few times.
From the way her various lovers
treated her, her performance in bed
couldn't have been anything spec-
tacular. Unless Pia rents a future real
quick she's going nowhere.

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Best Place to See a Concert
Hill A uditorium
Remember during freshman orientation when they told you that this place
is acoustically perfect? Well it is. Of course it won't make a bad musician
sound good, but it does make a good musician sound great.
MMEMEMMI

Most popular local band
SLK
It's no wonder that SLK took this
category. When SLK's in town fun is in
town. They breed craziness and wild
dancing and just plain old good times.
Keep up the good work guys.

Th
HinRg
By David M. Steingold
I'D BEEN OUT at'the Chocataw docks
every day for over two years, and I'd
still ain't got the hang. My casting was
good, and my tugging and reeling was
coming, but I didn't have the hang. I
caught but one fish all week, and that
was a teeny, maybe a foot.
The one morning it was a Sunday, so
lots of the regulars was in church. I like
it better when they're away and I'm
mostly by myself. So there I was out
there, and along comes Web, with his
homemade rod, and kite string. He sits
against the dockpole that they missed
with the creosote, so it's all splintered
up now. Then he unscrews his little
mason jar of lucky worms, and slips one
,n the bent-pin hook. He casts like
nothing, and leans back waiting, 'cause
he knows the fish is coming. He knows
that a week ago, today's fish was just
off the Minnesota shore, and on Wed-
nesday, they were floating past Iowa,
and Web knows the first is only a few
miles away now. Says he can smell it. I
believe him.
So there sits Web, a ways away. He's
wearing them wrinkly blue pants today,
and them dirty yellow sneakers. I got
my back against the dockpole, and I'm
warm since the mist burned off. My
rod's in my stomach, and my bobber is
floating up and down on the waves.
Sunday's the long day.
Web's first, one that was outside
Missouri yesterday this time, hitches
up to Web's string. He pulls her in like
nothing. It's Web's all right, 'cause it's
near two feet long. Web, he sees me
looking down the dock at him as he's
hanging her up on his dockpole. I don't
like to look at him if he's looking at me,
with them eyes the color of the river. So
I turn, and pull a little on mine, like
maybe there's something there. 'Cour-
se there ain't, but maybe Web thinks so.
Ain't too much longer before Web's
second hitches up, and Web's third. I
ain't even seen them under me, they
just go for his like nothing. Web catches
maybe twelve fish in a day, maybe
more on a Sunday.
I used to know Web o.k. We went to
the same school, before Web started
fishing all week instead. So it ain't like
we're strangers, or nothing. He knows I
ain't got the hang yet.

Then he hands me a worm from his lit-
tle mason jar, and walks away like
nothing.
Well, I put that worm on my best
hook, and in five minutes, I had a foot-
and-a-halfer pulled in, my biggest yet.
But when I cut her open later, and tried
to find the worm, it was gone. I never
asked Web for another. They're lucky,
and but a fool hands out lucky worms.
Web got the hang early. The old
Kingfisher says ain't but one in a hun-
dred that get the hang as early as Web.
Web hitches them better than most
men, better than all the young guys.
He's getting money in his pocket, from
the restaurants, and men who still ain't
got the hang yet are begging lucky
worms off him.

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CARDS " GIFTS
KITES MUGS
Pfl-TI . " TATIlNFRY

."
Well, church gets out around noon,
and that's about the time I pull in and
recast. Maybe one time in every ten
I'll do it like I got the hang. It don't mat-
ter how much I do it. One day I spent till
lunch just casting, and pulling in, and
casting again, but I still couldn't get the
hang but one in ten, by the time lunch
come. Anyways, this time I cast like
nothing. Web was looking at his next
fish, or he was asleep. Nobody else was
back from church. I wished Web'd seen
me. I casted like he always casts, that
time, like nothing. It felt good.
I sat back down, and the dockplanks
was warm. The sun was shining, and
the river was moving away. I shut my
eyes, and my eyelids did fireworks, and
I felt good. I don't remember faling
asleep, but that's what happened. I
woke up, and the sun was falling. Only
Web was still around, sitting at his
favorite dockpole, looking down at the
river. About a dozen scale-shiny fish is
strung up behind him.
Suddenly I feel my rod dropping, and
I just grab it before she's gone. Web
hears and looks over. My bobber's gone
under. I lean up against my dockpole.
My rod's bending, and I'm scared it's
going to break. Web pulls in, and sets
his rod on the dock. He runs-to where
I'm working.
I could go into the sweat and close
calls, but I'll just skip to the ending. The
sun's almost down, and me and Web is
taking turns, 'cause we can't pull her in
or she'll break my rod. Last, though,
she gives in, and I'm on duty, and I pull
her in like nothing. Web, his mouth
opens, and he looks at me funny.
She was three feet and some, when
the old Kingfisher got through with the
measuring. And she weighed 37 pounds.
The hook was so far down in her we had
to cut the line. 'Course, she was the
largest ever off the Chocataw docks.
Funny things was, when Web went
back to get his rod, the worm was
missing from his bent-pin hook. Now
Web ain't lost but two worms without
catching a fish, in more than eight years
at the dock. And when we cut open Big
Marie, which is what the old Kingfisher
called her, we found a worm in her
gullet, on my hook. Web's lucky worms
are the only ones anybody knows of that
has a silver stripe up front, and a red
stripe in back. He says he has to leave
the county to find them, but he says it's
the - stripes that makes them lucky.

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Well, the worm we found in Marie was a
silver-and-red'er.
'Cause of this, I've decided to always
give lots of the credit to Web, since it
had to of been his worm. How it got on
my hook, I don't know. But it did.
Web and the old Kingfisher had sup-
per with me, and some other regulars
did, too, even though it was Sunday.
Marie was enough for all of us. And she
was sweet, too. Afterwards, Web talked
to me for a while, and I made out like
nothing.
The next day, and since then, I been

casting like n
ding worms
won't say whe
Web, he mov
week. Said h
was spent ou
well he died
when he was
from down th
couldn't have
I've been
everyday, lik,
the hang. Ar
bent pins and

-._

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WEDUE %WmvUm%

High School USA: A love]I
As I opened my locker
I heard soft talk and girlscout giggles
they were kissing in the hallways between classes.
She cooed, "ILove You"
through the chunks of tuna caught in her braces.
Her mouth was a smear of
red lipstick and it oozed outside the lines
of her lips as she purred again
"I Love You " between the slob slurps and kisses
He replied, "Same here babe. "(slapping her on
with bits of dandruff on his Polo shirt
he was blonde-haired, blue-eyed, brazen beauty
who hadn 't noticed a smear of skin-toned Clears
on the left side of his roman nose.
The bell rang, and they left me behind with
lingering sme/llsof "Love's Baby Soft"and "De
-- Angela Sse
ANGEL
RESTAUR
"We'refamousf<
Homemade Bre

Nominated as
BEST GIFT SHOP
The Warm and Friendly
- Store on Campus
tore

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One day, Web comes down the dock
when I was by myself out there. He sees
me casting, and he stops me. He takes
my rod and shows me, and he does it
like nothing. So I try it, but just looking
at Web don't give me the hang, and
Web just says, "You come out every
day, like I do, and you'll get the hang."


BIVOUAC
330 S. STATE " ANN ARBOR *"761-6207

COSMETIC STUDIO
The Place for the Custom Face
CALL TODAY FOR YOUR FREE MAKEUP LESSON

1205 S. University

761-7177

1100 Catherine Rd.


5 Nickels Arcade

662-3220



I. - -

14 Weekend/Friday, April 13, 1984.

27 Weeken

t