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Say
ahh
The Official M.D. Handbook
By Anne Eva Ricks, M.D.
New American Library
pp. 161, $4.95

Best Place to

Get

Away

from it all
The Arb
"I have an idea everybody, let's allgo,
get away from it all in the Arb." It
should be noted that during the
balloting many people refused to tell us
where they go to get away from it all,
but assured us that it was indeed the
best place to get away.

0
-
c.
a)
aV
V

Worst Dorm Meal
Minute steak
Choosing the worst Dorm Meal must
not have been a very easy task. There
are just so many sick looking and
tasting meals to choose from. It also
seems that students had difficulties
identifying certain meals-"You know,
the one with the dark brown beef-like
chunks." The winner this year was
Minute Steak, but it takes a hell of a lot
longer than a minute to chew and digest
this shoe leather. A lot of students try
to solve the Minute Steak problem by
coating their dark gray patch of meat
with ketchup or barbecue sauce. It just
doesn't work. Do yourself a favor and
head straight for the dessert tray.
Some other meals deserve honorable
mention for the worst meal category,
Tuna Bunwich (dig in), "Rainbow"
Roast Beef (look at all the pretty
colors), and- Yankee Pot Roast
(somebody catch that damn yankee
and shoot him).

Best Place to Work Out
CCRB
It's gotta be the CCRB. There are so
many ways to work out over there your
muscles may never recover. If your
muscles can't handle all that stress, at
least take a look at some of the in-
credible hulks in the Free Weight
Room. Simply Incredible. Remember
- no pain, no gain. Even Mr. T had to
start somewhere.
Best Place to Find or Act
like a Flower Child or
Dead Head
The Diag
Where else can people do anything
from holding rallys, playing Hakisak to
just plain people watching. The at-
mosphere of the place makes you feel
comfortable standing out, or mellow if
you just want to people watch. Can you
think of a better place to just like talk to
other dudes and be mellow?

Most dreaded mail
Yellow envelopes
No doubt about it! Those yellow en-
velopes that open upside down and say.
goodbye life savings are the worst.
They come SIX times a year, and
you're usually still reeling from the last
one when it comes time to pay the next.
Best Dorm Food
Who knows
Unfortunately, no Daily staffer was
willing to check out the tops of
Michigan's Haute Cuisine. The in-
novative fair (tuna/macaroni quiche)
all of the dorms provide is so good that
choosing one winner seems a gross in-
justice. Congratulations to the chefs.

Best Excuse for handing
paper in late
The Old Standbys
There was no clear winner in the Best
Excuse category but the old standbys -
dog ate it, too much work, death in
family, sickness, and lost it - got the
majority of the votes. With this set of
victors you'd think our profs would be
getting pretty bored. Not the case at all.
Here are a few other votes in the Best
Excuse category: (A personal favorite)
What paper?, the Enterprise beamed it
up, girlfriend had me tied down, I was
having dinner and dancing with Richard
Gere, I was locked out of my apar-
tment, I'm lazy and stupid, I was held
hostage in Ohio, I ran out of toilet
paper, the truth (a bastion of goodwill
in this sinful society is heartwarming),
she spent the night, I spilled ratatouille
on it.

By D. Scott Wilkie
D O YOU WANT to do something
rewarding with your life? Like
save mankind? And own a BetaMax?"
If so, you could be M.D. material; at
least according to Dr. Anne Ricks,
author of The Official M.D. Handbook.
The book, reminiscent of other works
such as The Official Preppie Handbook,
offers a satirical peek at the rough road
to becoming a doctor, from medical
school admissions interviews to
specialists - and everything in-
between.
Ricks, presently a resident in Op-
thamology at Mount Auburn Hospital in
Massachusetts, is truly a well-rounded
career woman. She received her M.D.
from the University of Cincinnati as
well as an undergraduate degree in
English from the University of
Michigan. Her writing career has
included book reviews for The New
England Journal of Medicine and ar-
ticles for a very prestigious Ann Arbor
newspaper (that we need not identify),
i
,y
8t

and has completed work on many per-
sonal projects. In an interview with the
Cambridge Chronicle, Ricks said that
she could not imagine life without her
writing, although she admits that it is a
hobby that takes a back seat to her
medical career.
Her M.D. Handbook, which she boast-
fully tells us is in its fourth printing, has
sold very well to doctors and laypersons
alike. Its entertaining "tongue-in-
cheek" approach to the medical
profession offers "advice" on many
aspects of a medical career.
According to Ricks once you're safely
in medical school, you'll learn the
secrets of acting like a doctor at parties
and family get-togethers. You'll
discover how to understand and iden-
tify your classmates, who range from
the doctor's kid who would rather be a
poet ("I don't want to force you into a
career decision," Dr. Daddy said,
"You can be any kind of doctor you
want."), to the White Knight of
Medicine ("They're the ones with the
vanity license plates proclaiming
'MD2B' ").
The book can help you with decisions
like choosing a specialty and where to
look for residency. The third and last
section of the book is devoted to doctor-
patient relations, where you can learn
how to identify with your patients, how
to talk, look, and act 'poor' to avoid get-
ting sued ("be seen at cut-rate movie
theaters still showing E.T."); how to
keep your patients off-guard ("Always
store your stethoscope and other
metallic utensils in the fridge at 400
F."); how to create an intimidating of-
fice ("Wallpaper your office with of-
ficial-looking documents: your M.D.
and Residency certificates, your Girl
. 88 84
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warranty for your BMW, etc. . ..") ; anyone. As tl
and countlessnother inside secrets for proaches a p
coping with those strangers to whom you just read
you've dedicated your life. chapter, and
should have y
I think it can safely be assumed that Although t]
The Official M.D. Handbook holds credit for cr(
much more meaning (and probably make you a
more enjoyment) for an aspiring med given the cho
student, although it does offer -.some bucks toward


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