OPINION Page 4 Tuesday, January 31, 1984 The Michigan Daily Don't get egged looking for an abode By Mike Buhler As some of you are acutely aware, it is time, once again, to find housing. This dissertation is aimed more at those of you who are still in dorms, and are looking to'get into an apartment. And you might rightly ask, what do I know about apartments? Well, enough; but we'll avoid the topic of housing proper and move right in on room- nrates. Understand that I live with a guy who draws cute faces and silly messages on the eggs in the fridge. Seriously. Every morning, and more frequently ,following "bad" nights, the eggs stare 'up at you and say "I am the Egg Man," -or "Now you know what it's like to be scrambled." But it takes two or three -eggs for the long messages. Oh, and sometimes the eggs just talk to them- selves. The point being, if you like your eggs unadulterated, find that out before you move in with someone. One of my favorite egg jokes was -when one, positioned next to a lime, in- dicated with an arrow, "Must be the Hulk! " SNORING is something that bothers some people, but so far my roommates haven't complained. And I don't - my body doesn't bruise much. But if you are going to live with people from your hall, you probably already know who snores. What they eat and drink is important: If a roommate is going to raid my pickled eggs and Scotch, they had best beware. So get roommates that don't like what you eat, if you eat little. But if you eat a lot, certainly find those that stock and prepare what you find key. Everyone seems to like a little jazz and a bit of the classics, but the divisions are greater between Andy Gibb and Ozzy Osborne. Neil Young could keep the peace, but for how long? (That's a joke, if you didn't get it.) Maybe the biggest thing people ex- pect out of leaving the dorms for an alternate dwelling is peace and quiet. Wrong! No matter what, if you have neighbors, you'll have noise. Dan, your typical LSA freshman from Allen Park, lives in South Quad. He says the food isn't too good, but that he would like to find some place quieter. Learn to live with the noise, Dan. THE PEOPLE above us, for instan- ce, can be noisy at the wrong time. One Sunday morning, sometime before noon, they were blasting Casey's Coast- to-Coast. We, to say the least, didn't feel like hearing it. Ever been too hung over to pound on the ceiling? And then there is the constant (shall we call it vibration?)sthat emanates from the Jane Fonda workouts they play. O.K. something noise-wise in their favor:' one of them sings well. The point being, I do not find the level of noise any dif- ferent than that of the dorm. The frequency may change, and maybe the attractiveness of the neighbors, but you can't escape noise. Whatever you do, be sure you get parking. Even when you have a permit, it may not be enough. Finally, make sure you agree about utilities. Water, gas, and electric, I'm not talking about. Cable and telephones, I am. Like, do you really want to pay seven bucks for the Playboy channel? And what about call waiting? I find that whenever I call someone who has it, the roommate says, "I'm sorry, but I'm on long distance. I'll have them call you back." But the roommate never leaves the message. It would be best left busy, because you call back eventually. Oh, gee, and then there are publications. Time v. Newsweek, the Free Press v. the News. At least you'll get the Daily and Rolling Stone, right?,: And what about dishes? Who'll con- tribute the silverware? Will mom part with the Cuisinart? Gotta have two or three stereos, but who's got a vacuum cleaner to spare? And should you get matching bedcloths? Don't forget the bathmat! Lamps, too, are important, because "furnished" never seems to include them. Of course, some of your dorm room equipment will make it into the new place. Like the beanbag chair, You won't be needing the hot pot though - you'll have a stove. How many of you came to school with hot pots? If that isn't the best scam, I don't know what is. - Oh, and have fun finding a place, if you can get that far. Buhler is a regular contributor to the Opinion Page. Daily Photo Apartment life isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Cooking for yourself is no picnic - not to mention the snoring, the ob- noxious music, and all of the little faces and messages drawn on the eggs. palatable. Get clean roommates (isn't that a hideous term?). I can't stand roaches, personally. Of course I'm a big culprit there, though I make the distinction between dirt and clutter, or those things varmits will like, and the junk piled on my desk. Dirtis out, but clutter is okay. WATCH OUT for musical tastes. And also be sure that either all of you sing or none of you do. If only some are par- ticipating, it's easy to hear who is off- *1 Edited and managed by students at The University of Michigan AM RAE 11 , u . JEti 11 Vol. XCIV-No. 100 420 Maynard St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Editorials represent a majority opinion of the Daily's Editorial Board Reagan's: T WAS THE yawn heard 'round the nation. Ronald Reagan's announ- cement of his intention to seek reelec- tion didn't surprise anyone. Nor should it have, since he's been campaigning since his inauguration. What his an- nouncement did do was set the tone for his upcoming run for office. Reagan's basic premise is that he '"pulled the nation through the long night of our national calamity," and that now "America is back and stan- ding tall." While America was suf- fering three years ago, the contention that America is now "standing tall" is much more . difficult to support. Reagan is in the process of creating images - images of a dreadful past and a glorious present. He wants the chance to continue this fantastic trend which is supposedly a result of his ef- fort and wisdom. He says the reduction of inflation, the rebuilding of our defenses, and the return to "great American values," are the major successes of his ad- ministration. Along with his limited successes, though, come very real failures. Reagan deserves to be smiling about the reduced inflation and unem- ployment rates, but the immense deficit that he has created should be taking a little color out of his cheeks. All of his economic successes could be but a short term patch-job in the face of such a threatening monetary im- balance. Reagan has tried to distribute the blame for this deficit, but respon- sibility should fall exclusively on his shoulders. His top-heavy military budget is neither fiscally nor socially rose garden responsible. Billions are going to the military that could be going to reducing our debt or toward pro grams that would more directly benefit the American people. But as Reagan knows, social programs are less tangible than guns - so now he has something to point to. Our defenses are certainly stronger, but that strength wasn't free. Most interesting is Reagan's proclamation of restored American values: He speaks of "the dignity of work, the warmth of family, the strength of neighborhood, and the nourishment of freedom." Reagan lays claim to these values and yet any other politician could do so with equal authority. Reagan is trying to equate this positive rhetoric with his own aims - prayer in schools, creationism in textbooks, missiles in Europe, and troops in Lebanon. He paints a very pretty picture of America, but he's being rather free with his brush. Soviet-American relations are the worst they've been in years, American military force has been applied under questionable cir- cumstances, we are suffering under an immense deficit, and there are hun- dreds of thousands of hungry in our country - he mustn't get too cocky. Reagan has. had some success, but he has not been without failure as well. As the campaign continues we should not be deluded into thinking that America is definitely better off than four years ago. Reagan hasn't cor- nered the market on success and he's had more than his share of failures. To think anything different is to view the world through rose-colored glasses courtesy of Ronald Reagan. AND TqlS Nikv R~ELATIONHIWS1 WTHE~[~ VATCN WIVL TREATEN OUR 5aPA1?A7iQN aGNoN N STATE f -_:: -ffic M P ' Space Age- sporting life By Dick West WASHINGTON (UPI)-The Los Angeles Chapter of the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics is sponsoring a con- test to determine what the Olym- pic games of 2084 might be like. The assumption seems to be that 100 years from now many sporting events will take place on the moon and in "space habitats." Therefore, contestants are being urged to envision com- petition in such endeavors as "Lunar Hurdles," "Spacemin- ton," ,"3-D Water Polo" and "America's Space Cup" racing. Maybe zero gravity and weightlessness will be factors with which athletes of the future must cope. To me, however, that is a rather shaky premise. I believe it is more likely the 2084 Olympics will feature events such as these: AIRPORT MARATHONS - Long-distance runners compete with each other in an airport terminal. A boarding gate in one corridor is the starting noint The finish a low bow, holding the palm of the right hand against the forehead. These salutations will be graded by security officers, who also function as slalom judges. To win, skiers must reach the finish line without causing any of the metal detectors to make beeping noises, thereby creating the impression they are wanted to the telephone. PARKING LOT HURDLES - Rather than jumping over wooden barricades, entrants try to extricate cars that are blocked in parking spaces by other autos, from which ignition keys have been removed. BLOOM COUNTY The first one to reach the cashier's booth wins. Contestants lose points for scratches and bent fenders. EXACT CHANGE SHOTPUT - The object of this event is to throw 35 cents into a basket-like receptacle at a toll bridge collec- tion booth. In the first heat, contestants toss two coins - a quarter and a dime. The combinations become progressively more difficult until the final heat, when survivors must hit the baskets with seven nickels. The gold metal winner is the first to light a red "Thank you" sign. Time may be lost if one or more coins bounce out of the basket androll under the con- testant's vehicle. ICY SIDEWALK DASH - In this event, sprinters race the customary 50 or 100 meters, only instead of running on cinder- paths, they traverse sidewalks encrusted with frozen rain. Anyone who lasts the distance and is still upright gets a medal, regardless of the order of finish. West is a correspondent for United Press International. by Berke Breathed Z CAW.MPcWN. NW KNOW YOU'E AUL IKNOW BUf.&AR(AN -AKF NOTYIN6! Ki -5 ANVI7 'M TOM I( HATE IHAVEPN. NOW Go~" tWHAT FABOULT GORIUAS! HO5E M(NE, rM A F v 8rR©?! 9, MINE £VRYWHRE. Ft 5? PH~OM5 SHOW YOU Wffeg? ANTN'EM AUA, OVER 7TEjCONW6'' AND I'M F-r65 ARC KEr'HME I HAN UP! .If/ r: iSt2.ii::iE:::iasi:i:Iasi:it2ii:::>i::asiiasi>isii::ii::i-i>:SE;i>ii::E:i;:ii:i2:f:i:i; i a 00 0W