ARTS
he Michigan Daily Thursday, January 26, 1984 Page 5
------ -

How well do you
know the 'U'?

All buns but

no meat

T HE UNIVERSITY prides itself on
its fine student orientation
program, designed to help newcomers
get a feel for a campus of enormous
size, numbers, and history. Every
semester tour guides point out the im-
portant spots on campus, from the East
Quad Halfass to the numerous steam
tunnel entrances.
But how well do students really know
the 'U'? Sure, you know about Shakey
Jake, the Diag 'M', and Bob Ufer, but
can you pass the Daily test? A 25-person
poll showed varying degrees of
Michigan aptitude, from the
engineering student who thought John
Kennedy graduated here, to the RC
sophomore who listed Avery Hopwood
as a University regent.
Test yourself (no peeking at the an-
swers):
1.sWhat is inscribed over the Diag
entrance to the Grad library?

This is real subtle. Many 'U'
buildings have instructive Latin quips
over the portals; but the Grad doesn't
welcome those lonely bookheads with
Non exitus, as Mr. Montague
suggests. The correct phrase carved in
the stone, guessed correctly by only two
persons, is more pointed: Library."
2. What is the first name of President
Shapiro's wife?
Toknow Vivian is to love her. Per-
sonally, I've never met the lady.
3. What weapon stands behind the
President's house? Why?
Any library user is bound to pass by
the old cannon sometime. This aging
green relic points toward the Grad
library wind tunnel. What purpose it
serves remains unclear. RC student
Don Blose offers the following ex-
lPlanation: "When the campus was first
built there were cows roaming around
t'e diag. They were too big to move,
and so that's when University food ser-
vice was begun."
1. What do the initials A.C. and E.T.
stand for?
Very creative suggestions on this one,
from Adrian College (Myron Hratzauk,
guest student) to "academic coun-
seling" (Robert Waldzogel, 1st yr. In-
teflex) to "air conditioning" and "En-
4ertainment Tonight" (Annette
Ruthenberg, 3rd yr. Engineering).
Sports fans recognized the sign-ons for
Michigan Panther/Michigan alum wide
receiver Anthony Carter and basketball
extra-terrestrial Eric Turner.
5. What Michigan alumnus became a
Upited States President?
Thankfully, most everyone got this
one. As Andrew-Montague (Soph, LSA
put it, "Ah yes - but where did he live
in West Quad?")
6. Who was the last Michigan football
player to win a Heisman trophy?
No, Anthony Carter wasn't even
close. TPom "Old 98" Harmon won it in
1940. No, Gerald Ford wasn't even
close.
7. How much tuition do you pay?
Or, what does Daddy shell out? With
rising rates, students are becoming in-
creasingly aware of how much oft a
burden they are. In-state estimates for
one-semester tuition ranged from $800-
$1800, with the average very close to the
actual value of $1109 (in state juniors
'ind seniors pay $1237; out-of-state pay
'3173 during their first two years and
$3409 in the second two).
S. Whose name is on the plaque at the
.entrance to the Union? What is buried
1.bgneath the plaque?

John F. Kennedy's bronzed likeness
glows at all who enter the Union. JFK
dedicated the Peace Crops at the Union
in 1960. Buried beneath the plaque are
the papers for that dedication, or, one
student put it, "the first Peace Core."
Get it?
9. What does PSN stand for?
The organization which took over
Prof. Thomas Senior's radiation lab
last November goes by the name
Progressive Student Network. Not
People's Socialist Network, as frequen-
tly derided.
10. What schools are housed on North
Campus?
The Hinterland is frequented by
students of art, music, architecture,
engineering, and even biochemistry.
ii. Why is the Dennison Building
tilted?
Another controversy. The Physics
and Astronomy building is slowly
sinking into the ground because of poor
design by, alternatively Ann Arbor or
Lansing engineering graduates. Rob, a
West Quad sophomore, said the down-
ward shift exists "so lab students can
have an excuse for their errors."
12. Name one regent.
These oft-overlooked people serve the
University for 8-year terms, cutting
programs, raising tuition, and all that.
There are eight regents, but nobody
knows anything about them; only Mike
Wood (3rd year Inteflex) identified
Deane Baker, while Emily S (Fr. LSA)
remembered James Waters. The
forgotten board members are: Paul
Brown, Robert Nederlander, Sarah
Power, Thomas Roach, and Nellie Var-
ner. .
13. In what building is CRISP
located? What is the building's original
nam e?he
Fans of the familiar Computer
Registration Involving Student Par-
ticipation recognize Lorch Hall. Only
old-timers remember the original
name: the Architecture and Design
building.
14. What traditional 'U' activity takes
place on April 1st?
Depends where you come from. At
the Daily, the 1st means the April
Fool's issue. Fraternity friends recall
the Greek Week acitivities. But aging
radicals and area high school kids know
the 1st as the Hash Bash.
15. Why do the panthers in front of the
Natural History museum never growl?
This age-old (non-virginal) tease at
the sexual experience of Michigan
students is non-denominational, and
therefore not "chauvinistic" as alleged
by several West Quad women. West
Quad resident Jim A. suggested the
stone felines have "castration
anxiety". Ouch.
16. Who is Billy E. Frye?
The Vice President for Academic Af-
fairs and Provost might be distressed to
learn that, of those who recognized his
name, the majority thought he was
either the athletic director or the
basketball coach (including freshman
engineering students Andrew Dixon,
Bill Stratton). Sorry, Bill Frieder.
17. What is the May Festival?
No this has nothing to do with running
gaily-colored ribbons around a pole;
neither, as was suggested, does the
festival involve The Apn Arbor Art
Exhibit or the Ann Arbor Art Fair. The
May Festivl is an annual celebration
of spring organized by the University
Musical Society. The Philadelphia Or-
chestra, under the direction or Eugene
Ormandy, are traditional guests.
18. What color-is the rock?
Buried beneath layers and layers of
paint, the rock at the corner of Hill and
Washtenaw is probably grey. Curren-
tly, it's chiefly painted chiefly white.
19. Who is the curent editor-in-chief of
The Michigan Daily?
Only one person knew this illustrious
person's true identity (1st-year med
student Debby M.) - and she was
briefed. But it doesn't matter anyway;
old what's-his-name concludes his term
as big boss man on February 1st.

By Emily Montgomery
THE TITLE for Hotdog is half right. The movie is a dog,
but it's not very hot. In fact, the bulk of the film consists
of warmed over, old, OLD jokes and a bunch of half-baked
actors, if I can even call them that.
Hotdog is based on the "Triple 'S''" theory of movie
making. The first "S" stands for sex, the second stands for
skiing and the third I'll get to later.
First the sex. I knew that would please some of you (most
likely the T & A crowd this movie was designed for).
Although the film is supposed to be about skiers, mostly
males, it manages to exploit a bevy of brainless, breasty
beauties, with one-word vocabularies. And that word, of
course, is "yes." Playboy centerfold Shannon Tweed is in it,
both of them. It's a good thing she isn't expected to act.
Now I know this type of movie is expected to show a bit
more skin, but let's keep it within the real of reality, shall
we? A wet t-shirt contest I can accept, but when eight to ten
girls (They were young, but all over 40. Know what I mean?)
strip off their shirts in a public bar and begin to dance
around, I draw the line at its believeability. In short, this
Hotdog has a few too many buns.
Now for the skiing. There's no doubt that Hotdog has some'

really spectacular skiing in it, high jumps with twists and an
exciting display of downhill ballet, all flawlessly executed.
work on the theory of never paying for something I can see
for free, though. If I'd wanted to see ski stunts, I could have
waited for the Winter Olympics. Afterall, they're on T.V. and
I wouldn't have had to suffer through the tediously over-
worked plot, cliched jokes, and unjustified vulgarity of Hot-
dog.
Speaking of plot, Hotdog does have one - which is more
than I can say for the majority of these type of flicks. Unfor-
tunately it's the old "Bad guys vs. the Good guys" routine,
highly predictable and blatently unoriginal. The setting is a
world-cup freestyle ski meet, with enough competition for
scenes both on and off the slopes. The competetors? Well
there's the "Rat-pack" (a.k.a. the Americans and the good
guys) and the "Rudettes," (a.k.a. the Austrians and the bad
guys). Throw in more than a few crude sex scenes and
you've got Hotdog.
An added disappointment was the discovery of former ac-
tor, David Naughton (best known as the singing spokesman
for Dr. Pepper, but also starred in American Werewolf in
London) in this obvious loser of a film. He doesn't even have
a lead. What possessed him to accept such a role? Are parts
really that hard to come by these days, David?
Basically, Hotdog lacks relish. And, oh yes, the third "S"?
Well, that stands for stupidity. Clear enough?

Symphony Orchestra strikes out,

Skiing
... one deadly 'S' of 'Hotdog'

By Pamela Starrett
O N TUESDAY night house lights
dimmed, Concertmaster Tony
Huang made his way to center stage,
soon followed by Conductor Gustav
Meier. If the audience could see but not
hear, they'd wonder if all the members
of the University Symphony Orchestra
were alive.
There were vital signs of life; the
melodic, choreographed movements of
the violas, the pulsing activity of the
double-bass section, and the prepared
attacks of the percussion. Unfor-
tunately, throughout most of the Pops,
concert, the audience reflected the
lifeless orchestral players, a little
bored, stiff in ther seats.
The opening work, Overture to Die
Fledermaus, began a little unsteadily.
But the Orchestra's lack of rhythmic
stability was recovered by the basses
and the melodic entry of the oboe solo.
After his tenuous beginnings, Strauss'
Dance of the Seven Veils revealed the
warm playing of Nancy Ambrose,
oboist, and Jeff Zook, flutist. This dan

ce requires fluidity through transition
which the ensemble never quite at-
tained. The first half of the program
concluded with Copland's Rodeo, a
ballet made famous by the "Ballet
Russe" of Monte Carlo.
Zuohuang Chen conducted Rodeo
with an energetic, precise technique.
Yet even with such concise conducting,
the violins managed to anticipate en-
trances and the Orchestra's rhythm
lost clarity.
During the "Corral Nocturne" the in-
tonation of the strings markedly im-
proved, and the ensemble came
together in a moment of relaxed war-
mth.
"Hoe-down," the last movement of
Rodeo, has the potential to bring the
house down. The Orchestra lacked the
vitality that Chen exhibited. In fact, the
energy of Chen and the anticipation of
Beverly Rinaldi held the audience in
Hill Auditorium through intermission.
Off to another shakey start;the cello
section began the Overture to William
Tell by Rossini. Yakov Kreisberg con-
ducted the symphony with great
authority. Solo performances by

Michael Byrne, obnoeist, and Jeff Zook,
flutist, along with the precision of the
strings, gave the audience a glimmer of
hope.
Then "life" in the form of Beverly
Rinaldi paraded to center stage. As she
performed Rossini's Una voce poco fa,
and Bernstein's Glitter and Be Gay, the
characters of Rosina and Cunegonde
came to life.
Poor ensemble in the violins during
the Rossini was soon obliterated by the
delicate violin and viola solos in the
Bernstein, and by the inspiring
musicality of "Pops" flavor that
Rinaldi gave to this concert.
When Gustav Meier returned to con-
duct selections from West Side Story,
the audience was finally in a "Pops"
frame of mind. Although the harpist
seemed unable to follow an arpeggiated
rhythm at a crucial moment, the soun-
ds of muted brass and strings crooning
Maria, saxophones, celli and brass
,singing Tonight along with the strong
percussion section and the flamboyant
conducting of Meier, there was a
nostalgic animation of Bernstein's
musical. During the conclusion of Stars

and Stripes Forever, the piccolo and
brass sections rose while the audience
clapped to the music.
Obviously these musicians are well-
trained, but are they truly obsessed
with recreating music, or are they sim-
ply going through the motions of per-
forming? Stage presence seems to dic-
tate audience reaction, and at a "Pops"
concert such as this, enjoyment and a
relaxed, yet exciting atmosphere
exhibited by all of the performers
might have given more vitality to this
performance.

7 HAIRCUTTERS
* NO WAITING
DASCOLA STYLISTS
Liberty off State 668-9329
Maple Village.. ..761 -2733

1'


Records
The Parachute Club - Rise
Up' (RCA)
What is The Parachute Club - just
another new band with a catchy
English name? Synth/Pop with a
luscious vocalist, peut-etre? Not really.
So what does happen with Rise Up,
Parachute Club's nouveau 12" single?
Not much, except for explaining
"Overpowered by Funk." With Rise
Up, those trite criticisms about new
synth/beat seem to fit too well. The
rhythm section, for example, resem-
bles nothing so much as a wayward Ap-
ple II pumping sine waves into a
woofer.
Mindless, redundant pop - this
thought inescapably synchopated the
rhythm into my cortex. I was redunan-
tly possessed by violent apathy. Don't
steam - I love Orchestral Maneuvers
in the Dark and wallo in the creativity
of Soft Cell's pseudo-symphonic sound,
but Rise Up just doesn't mix the Mar-
tini. Though it might make decent dan-
cing at the Rubaiyat (if you had a cute
date), to the sedentary ear its as
stimulating as hemlock.


I dropped the word "mindless,' and
not unintentionally, but that may have
been unfair. Though I have no faith in
earthly justice, I will play Devil's ad-
vocate for a second: There are lyrics, of
course. Rise Up evokes sedition, of
course. And there is a theme, of course.
It's trite, of course: Talking about
change/Talking about building the
land of our Dreams. Spirit's time has
come/Woman's time has come. Oh
that original Parachute Club - they
pack the subtilty of a fire alarm with
the spice food-service omlette. Why
waste time on the Diag? You could be
recording.
Rise Up is not really worthless. RCA
records has had the creativity to put the
song on a 12" 33 rpm single, which
makes it somewhat pleasing to the eye.
It also gives Rise Up the potential to
sound a bit-like up-beat Duran Duran,
NOON LUNCHEON
FRIDAY, JANUARY 27
Tom Marx and Steve Austin, MSA:
"STUDENT POWER IN THE '80s"
at GUILD HOUSE - 802 Monroe
optional lunch available for $1
(Homemade soup and sandwich)

as you can switch the turntable to 45.
All the Parachute club really needs is a
little energy to get it moving.
- Bob King


I to d

p

- 1~~W

e

T

Ijy *0 *jF
PERF -. OMER


k

Join the
Daily
Arts Staff!

AN 1.At 1 1l
INDIVIDUAL THEATRES
5th Ave at Liberty 761-9700
DAILY MATINEES!
Coninuous Sal R Sun
1:00 pa. onlty -Mon. Tue. Wed1Thurs. Fri
$2.00 SHOWS BEFORE 6:00 P.M.
"EFFERVESCENT"
Vincent Canby, NEW YORK TIMES
S HE

Attention:
GRAD STUDENTS
Celebrate
contract ratification!
PARTY
Free to union members
$1.00 to non-members
SATURDAY,
JANUARY 28, 1984

You can. .

.

advertise your
skills,
S
e
get rid of an

U
find fulfillment,


f,.:
qif,


/"


iinwnnted net. and

mtAVfthAn it rn v .:.--. Ua" V i si y~l~ 11n A1 V