On black holes and
other heavy matters

The Michigan Daily - Thursday, October 20, 1983-- page 7

7 HAIRCUTTERS
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Maple Village.......761-2733

F ALL. THE TREES give up
their dead. A memory is dis-
carded, but not without reluctance,
and so the burial is done in tasteful
decor, matching orange and fading
green. You can smell it: an acid odor
of decay and bitter foreboding. The
days grow shorter; darkness en-
velops the city.
Adrift upon a sweeping flood of old
promises, indifference, disappoin-
tments, and plain deceit, you feel a
bit lost. Every nuance of confusion is
lifted up with the changing earth,
and,,as another winter looms closer,
you reach out to grasp something
solid from a crumbling, receding
present. Something which is stable,
sure, and savory.
Gravity. A man stands upon the
ground; gravity is with him and he

takes it for granted. He shares it
with others without. realizing or
believing that he is bound to them.
Gravity is sure; gravity is impor-
tant.
But what is it?
Ann Arborites cope well with
authority, so I approached one:
Professor Marcellus Wiedenback, a
friendly man with that gift of patien-
ce so essential in teachers of
physics.
Prof. Wiedenback introduces his
explanation with directness and
clarity. "Initially, one is concerned
with Newton's law of gravitation,"
he says. "Any two masses exert a
mutual force on each other which is
proportional to the product of the
masses and inversely proportional
to the square of the distance between
them."
Simple enough. The fig newton
falls from the tree and the earth falls
toward the fig newton, only its mass
is so great as to make its ac-
celeration and movement in-
distinguishable.
"If you had two (identical) books
in isolated space, then each would
fall toward' the other the same
distance," explains Wiedenback.
This is the same force which pulls
the moon toward the earth and
which is responsible for the Carl
Sagan-Disney-popularized phenome-
non of black holes. A black hole,
Wiedenback says, is a small concen-
tration of an enormous mass. With a
large enough mass and a small
enough radius, light emitted can
never escape. Imagine if the whole
mass of the earth were compressed
to the size of one-half inch in
diameter, and you have a black hole
prototype.
The only way to detect such a
celestial vacuum cleaner is to
measure the x-rays and other
Sradiation emitted as matter ac-
celerates toward the hole. At least
w two black holes have been evidenced
y by this manner, according to
Wiedenback.

Wonderful. But what is gravity?
Wiedenback freely admits the
deficiency of his explanation: "This
is just a description (of gravity); the
origin is still unknown," he says.
"That's the one force which has not
been unified with the other major
forces in physics."
And here his voice grows wistful.
"Einstein worked on this problem
for many years...."
The search for meaning leads to
vast Himalayan mountaintops and
dingy Parisian bistros - and
sometimes to the Old English Dic-
tionary, which is where Bernard
Van't Hul, esteemed professor of
English, sent me. Gravity is derived
from the Latin gravis, meaning
heavy or weighty. According to the
OED, "The word was first in-
troduced in figurative sense,
corresponding to the English senses
of the adjective. The primary
physical sense of the Latin word
came into English first in the 17th
century."
Figurative senses; now we are
getting somewhere. I have an eye
for figurative senses.
Professor Van't Hul volunteers to
shape a few alternative forms, to
illustrate and make sense of gravity.
The first task, he instructs, is "to go
from a Newtonian sense of the word
and apply it metaphorically.
Metaphorically, we have a weight.
"Thus, a statement can have a
certain gravity - it's substantial
and commands respect," says Van't
Hul. Such a figure of speech comes
naturally from a figure of authority,
a person of some gravity.
"A person can have gravity. A
grave person is one who is severe;
(the adjective bestows) a feeling of
weight on that person's shoulders,"
observes the professor. "The basic
figure is that of Atlas."
But Atlas is not a happy Titan, and
so the darker side of gravity sinks in.
Van't Hul's example is apt: "You
could say you saw Frieda the other
day and she had a grave demeanor.
You mean that you sense how heavy
thingsseem to her, weighted down
not with goodness, but with sad-
ness." The straight meaning of
gravity serves 'as antonym to
"gaeity," according to OED.
Poor Frieda probably grives for a
situation of gravity; "When we say a
situation is grave we mean it has the
potential of consequence." Again,
gravity is important. Van't Hul
recalls the solemn sign of one
serious social sadness.
And here his voice grows wistful.
"Do you remember the Kennedy
funeral procession? I was awed by
the gravity of that procession....d
Gravity, of course, does not lie
only when and where presidents do.
Gravity is with us always, and we
can look forward and downward to
it.
Before signing off, Prof. Van't Hul
points my way to a final reference
point - as English teachers are
wont to do - in a Shakespeare text.
Pricked by the point of crossed
stars, Mercutio weighs his chances:
Ask for me tomorow and you
shallfind me a grave man.


Connie Craig, Peter Kusaka, Ella Johnson, and Greg Dilante (left to right) bemoan dangerous times tonight at

Performance Network.
The times are

By Andy Baron

THE DAILY
CLASSIFIEDS
ARE A GREAT
WAY TO GET
FAST RESULTS
CALL 764-0557

N A VALIANT effort to inject humor
into the threat of nuclear war, the
Performance Network will stage A
Civil Defense Primer and Dangerous
Times, two one-act plays about politics
and the Bomb.
Author Jim Moran directs both
productions from October 20 through
October 30 (408 W. Washington).
The first play, A Civil Defense
Primer, is drawn from an actual han-
dbook published by Washtenaw County
citizens. The handbook was produced
for the purpose of reducing casualties
in the event of an all-out nuclear war.
Moran is convinced that subtlety is
necessary if this play is to be a success.
The difficulty lies in avoiding the cliche
of satires on civil defense. A humorous
play about such an extreme threat is

both easy and painful. Yet A Civil
Defense Primer should prove to be a
masterpiece of black humor.
The second piece is much more
imaginative. Dangerous Times is
traditional and modern at the same
time. This play is a remake of The
Brementown Musicians by the Brothers
Grimm, German fairy-tellers of the
17th century. The 1983 version of the
classic tale is an updating of The Har-
dtime Blues by Marquetta Kimbrell.
Kimbrell's adaptation was written in
the early '70s and played in New York
to huge audiences. The New York
Theater Caravan was the performing
company in the second remake. The
newest version was revamped by
Moran and Kimbrell to be more ap-
plicable to current events of 1983.
Dangerous Times .is about four
characters, all animals, who join
together and march on to Washington to

Bond falls from grace

MOVIE"
Newsweek
ngerous
fight the government. The stars are a
donkey, a cat, a dog, and a bird. They
each come from a different eco-system,
and each has particular problems that
require answers from the government.
When they arrive at the White House p
they bump into such other animals as FRI. 7:25 9:40
James Watt, Caspar Weinberger, Jean
Kirkpatrick, and Nancy Reagan; they
manage to avoid the monkey-keeper
himself. The remainder of the play
features black-mail, security agents, .S"ANCPINERY
and intervention by the United States
Army. This very "moral" play is an ex-
cellent example of what Moran calls the
"progressive bent", of the Performance
Network Company.
by Moran and the company should ©
provide an evening of entertainment, DOLBY STEREO
humor, and a new moral standard for THURS., FRI. 7:00, 9:30
1983.
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UJNION1 N
DOS EQUIS BEER XX PRESENTS
IHALLOWEEN WEEKEND

(Continued from Page 6)
enable him to switch dummies with real
warheads on a cruise missile test so
Largo (the villain) can kidnap them
and engage in nuclear blackmail.
Bond's discovery gets him into a long,
drawn out fight which demolishes the
clinic. It lacks the hedonistic pleasures
found in the glass shop fight of
Moonraker - a problem throughout
this all too realistic flick.
Once the nuclear blackmail starts, M

is forced to reactivate the double Os so
Bond visits Q (Algy the Armourer in
this film). Q's office is a dreary, dismal
place, and he complains of budget cut-
backs while showing Bond some of his
new weaponry. But this too lacks the
dazzling quality of Bond movies. Once
again, it's too real, missing the point
that a James Bond film lies in the un-
velievable characters and fascinating
gadgetry, enhanced with ample doses
of action.
One point in keeping with Bond style
is Largo's female, accompaniment
(Kim Basinger). She is suitably attrac-
tive, but Bond never really stokes the
coals of romance. Sean Connery just
doesn't seem to have the interest in
women he should. This is a Bond movie.
But really it isn't. The names are there,
but the feel is gone. There are a few
parts that are in the Bond spirit, but so
few that I hate tomention them for fear
of eliminating what few pleasures the
movie does have. And thinking the
Bond movie would be enough, the ac-
tion-adventure isn't all that great. So
the film just sits there like a puff of
cloud rather than a thunderball, with no
particular virtues. I'll take Broccoli's
Octopussy any day, for it has the Bond
formula at its best. And as to this, never
say Never Say Never Again, again.


AN

EVENING.

WITH

Sean.Connery
... never say again

THE Jim Morrison &
D
Featuring Two Unforgettable Hours Of Rare and Exciting
Film Footage of JIM MORRISON and THE DOORS!

I

Rp v
N HE
tip w tN
. L7

welcomes

HOMECOMING GAME PLAN 1983
P-O-P*
GOES
THE UNION
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 21

9:00 P.M.
9:00 P.M.
9:30 P.M.

THE URBATIONS
BALLROOM
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STUART CUNNINGHAM TRIO
PENDLETON ROOM

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SATURDAY OCTOBER 29 * 8 PM

i